Slice Of Life

RAYA...

2012-02-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Visualize this...mid 1990s...a feisty teenager who feels she can take on the world like a storm...dreams in her eyes...determination gallore...cynical about the institution of marriage...while loving babies and little ones to cuddle with, nurturing a complete disregard for the blessing of a women's ability to bring life into the world...belief that life should not be moulded or steered by institutions like marriage and children...a proponent of the 'life is meant to be lived on one's own terms, without exceptions' paradigm...

Fast forward 15 years...visualize this...a woman with a huge bump on her tummy,religiously trying to attend prenatal yoga classes( because that's what the current 'earth mother'/'go green'/'organic' world says is best for her baby and her)...eating 'healthy'...doing whatever folklore and modern motherhood tales say about giving birth to and bringing up a healthy baby...enduring an 18 hour labor...being rushed into the surgery room for a 'C' section, because all the 'prenatal yoga' and 'walking' in the world failed to do it's magic:)...shivering in apprehension and anticipation in the surgery room...breaking down into tears as the little bundle of joy is placed next to her...letting life turn into a scramble as she tries to get too many things done in too little time...dealing with lifestyle changes...dealing with the challenges of nursing... night outs, partying out in the city,give way to nightouts, at home, feeding the little one and changing diapers...impropmtu trips give way to impeccably planned getaways...designer bags make way for the life saving diaper bag...those 'n' pairs of confidence boosting high heels( which she could not do without till a few months back), gather dust in the closet while giving way to unappealing,comfortable flats...she does everything that belies her erstwhile definition of "living life on her own terms" 15 years back...yet she is the happiest she has ever been in life...the early morning smile from her little one brightens up her day, gives her the energy to go through the day with zest and vigor...rekindles her belief in miracles and makes her feel complete...you may call it a life changing event...I prefer to call it the 'FLOW' of life...RAYA, our little Miss Sunshine...all of almost 5 months now and filling our lives with an abundance of love, laughter, smiles, babble, coos, rolls, twists and not to forget drool and wet diapers:)

Interestingly enough 'D' and I went into the gender determining Ultra Sound with just one name in mind...RAYA...while I lay on the Ultra Sound table, I must admit I felt terribly guilty about not having a boy's name in mind yet...it did inherently mean that both D and I were hoping for a baby girl...what if, it was a boy, instead??!! Fortunately both of us were spared from sulking in pangs of guilt for the rest of the pregnancy,with the news that it was a girl indeed :)

Time and again, a lot of people have asked 'D' and me what RAYA means...While I can't take credit for coming up with the name RAYA...that came from little Miss Sunshine's dad...but I must admit I did love the sound and vibe of it instantly...short, simple and yet eloquent...While the origin of the word RAYA is the Hebrew word meaning "Friend", it has a wide range of meanings in different cultures...in Greek, it means "Wise guardian"...in Bulgarian, it means "Queen/Heaven"...in Russian, it means "Relaxed"...in Mayian, it means "Unique, one of a kind/ Easy to love, beautiful and pure "...in Latin, it means "Queen"....in Arabic, it means "Aroma"...in Old Greek, it means "Adaptable,easy going"...in Slavonic, it means "Happy"...and most importantly in Sanskrit, it means "Flow"...

RAYA, the 'flow' of our lives has provided fodder and momentum to 'D' and my lives...has given birth to new enriching and fulfilling emotions and relationships...has lead us to the delightful shores of parenthood, and continues to direct and lead us to explore new horizons every day of our lives...

And wait...before you leave this page, I have the feeling I am heading in the direction of becoming the cooler parent:) contrary to what I felt mid way into my pregnancy...As Raya is growing up, looks like Daddy dear has a lot more aspirations for our little munchkin...I increasingly hear 'D' talk about what he will allow her to do and what he will not, wants her to do and doesn't etc,while I have adopted a rather laid back attitude and am just focussing on enjoying the joys of motherhood and watching my munchkin grow up...'D' may turn out to be the stricter parent, after all...oh well, we'll see...the 'FLOW' of life will tell indeed:)

In the meanwhile, wish us luck! Bringing up a child the 'right'
way is difficult, specially when the notion of 'right' and 'wrong' is as fuzzy as it is in the world today...

About time...?

2011-06-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been out of blogosphere for a while now...not for the lack of new things happening in life, though...:)

I have just been in two minds about sharing the news of probably one of the most significant life events in D and my lives...will get to that in a moment...

But then I miss blogging...and under the current scenario, writing about anything else without sharing this bit of news , the excitement, anxiety and nervousness associated with it just seems inappropriate and insignificant...

So I realized, it was about time I got back to my much neglected blog, about time I wrote about the life changes of the past six months, about time I shared D and my excitement, nervousness, apprehensions about the changes that life has brought on and those still to come...about time I mentioned the impending new arrival into our family...

Yes, D and I are expecting our first in another 2 and half months...we are excited, anxious, nervous, happy...all at the same time, if that's possible at all...but yes, after 5 years of marriage and into our 30s, I wouldn't blame you if you echoed our parents' thoughts and said that it indeed is about time :)

So well, going back to why it took me so long to write about something that's literally been the centre of our lives these past few months....While the first trimestor of pregnancy is unpredictable and uncertain for most women and hence a lot of people just prefer not talking about their pregnancy during that period...that aside,in general Indians tend to be really superstitious about anything related to pregnancy...I never could understand why....I do realize that two and a half months is still a long way to go and God forbid, a lot of things could go wrong in the next couple of months...so as of now,just trying to keep the positivity flowing, steering clear of all negativity and hoping and praying for a happy, healthy baby, while we prepare for her arrival...

So what has the last six months been like... a roller coaster of emotions, to put it simply....in the first trimester, in addition to the usual first trimester discomforts associated with nausea and exhaustion, I was encompassed by this intermittent fear that something may go wrong ....the second trimester was fun , other than having to get used to growing bigger and bigger...into my third trimester now …and growing bigger by the day...I perennially obsess about the little’s ones kicks and somersaults and sometimes the lack thereof...I failed my glucose screening test and have to undergo a longer glucose tolerance test now to make sure evrything's on track… and everyone says, the most difficult bit is yet to come...so essentially I am trying to keep enjoying the pregnancy and hanging in there with dreams in my eyes :)

It's funny the kind of changes impending parenthood brings about...In the past, whenever D and I talked of kids,I always imagined myself as a cool parent, never having undue expectations from my child and letting him/her grow up with unbridled freedom(much like how my brother and I did)...Hence, now I find it quite amusing and incredible when I talk to D about passing on my unfulfilled aspirations onto the little one...how I wish our child would be good at art unlike me...how the child wouldn't be flat footed like me...etc. etc...While DD brushes me off lightly with, "Don't get into the habit of forcing your unfulfilled aspirations on our child",I realize the flaw in my thoughts and just for a moment, feel a pang of envy realizing that probably( no, most definitively) D will be the cooler parent...:)...and I guess, I better get used to that :)…well, so that's that...

Wish us luck folks...your best wishes mean a lot to us as we get prepared for the final phase of this run...

A generation gone by...

2011-01-26T08:56:00.001-08:00

Yesterday night papa called to let us know that aita (my paternal grandmom) was no more...Aita had not been keeping well for sometime now, though everyone back home says that the dignity with which she carried herself in those last few days, while she struggled with her illness, was incredible ...However as anyone can imagine , even the most expected news is difficult to accept when we are actually faced with it...so while papa tried his best to try and make it easy for us to accept the news with as much dignity as Aita would have wanted, by repeatedly emphasising that she passed away peacefully, without any pain whatsoever, tears rolled down my cheeks and I wept into my pillow at the thought of not ever again seeing that beautiful lady e who made that lovely house on the hilltop in Guwahati a HOME, a home where all of us grandchildren have spent many a cherishable moment..

I have been one of those fortunate ones , who has had a chance to spend significant amount of time with both sets of grandparents, and as I look back at the influences in my life these past three decades ...I see a bit of each four of them in myself today...and notice a predominant influence of both sets of grandparents on how my life has shaped up, thus far...

My maternal grandfather, a lawyer by profession,well known in Jorhat as the Nana ukil, was a warm, loving , witty and jolly man , who believed in living life to the fullest...perhaps it was from him that I learnt to love life, without too many complaints and to cherish and capture the little moments of life that make it so beautiful...

My maternal grandmom,Aita ma, was a beautiful lady, who was one of the most loving ,warm, affectionate and broadminded women of her times...her beautiful smile and the warmth of her embrace exuded a charm and joy , that was infectious...never heard her utter a foul word about anyone ever...she embraced friends and acquaintances of her children and grandchildren like her own...so much so that, I remember, as soon as I would tell my friends that my grandmom was visiting us, they would be dying to see her , listen to her stories and revel in her delicious cooking....married at the tender age of 9 and despite her limited formal education, she was the most open minded on worldly issues and in matters of the heart, alike...she carried her heart on her sleeves...and taught me to love and be loved...

My paternal granddad, Koka, was an academician by profession, a philanthropist in words and deeds...a humble soul who achieved accolades that are still held in awe even after his lifetime...the kind of goodwill and respect that he earned among his peers and the generations that followed with his noble deeds make people bow down in respect at the mention of his name even today...he had an aura, in the glory of which we , his grandchildren, bask even today when we visit Assam...he inculcated in us the values of respecting other human beings irrespective of caste,creed, religion and social standing, of humility, of empathy, of learning, of open mindedness, of not misusing the power and responsibility that we have, as humans...

And then of course,Aita, my dear paternal grandmom, a beautiful lady who was eons ahead of her times as far as lifetime achievements are concerned...a beautiful lady who was a writer, classical singer, a classical dancer, a thespian, a youth activist all rolled in one, while being the lovely grandmother that she was to all of us...She won many an accolade for her writings, her short stories, her translations of great English works like Jane Eyre to Assamese as well as for her many other talents....She epitomised the modern Indian women ...getting married to the man she loved against all odds, driving her own car, being independent while adhering to the basic values that make our family what it is today...she personified strength and dignity as she battled many a physical and mental battle that has helped the family overcome many a crisis...I guess it is that love, respect , strength and confidence needed for dignified living that I have acquired from her in some form...

Whenever I go back home to Assam, there are invariably multiple moments and occasions when people ask me my grandparents' names and as soon as I tell them, there is almost an involuntary, innate sense of respect and awe that fills their beings and demonstrates itself in their bearings...needless to say, it fills my heart with pride ...it makes be feel happy...it makes be feel fortunate and privileged ...and sometimes, it also does make me feel sad as well at the thought that I will probably not be able to do justice to that legacy and lineage I have been blessed with...

Over the years, while trying to deal with this quagmire and maze that this world and life is, I have often struggled to deal with situations that require aggressiveness, a killer instinct, a mean streak, a cynical view of people and the world ...things that are more often than not needed to get your way or make it big in the world today...I have often attributed this inability to my upbringing...but have time and again invariably failed in defying my upbringing to fit into the more cliched versions of people and the world like it is this day...

Today, as I remember Aita, Koka, Aita ma and Pipi....these are glimpses that fleet past my mind...the glimpse of Pipi throwing me into the air in joy as he celebrated the win of his favorite cricket team, the glimpse of cuddling up to aita ma, while she told me stories and fed me my favorite dish, the glimpse of Koka sitting on the lawns of "Anandam" , giving me a hug and telling me how proud he was of me on some achivement, the glimpse of Aita lying down in bed next to me and reading out stories while she tried to put me to sleep...glimpses and moments that have made me "ME"...glimpses and moments that make me realize how fortunate I have been to have had the upbringing I have had...to have been loved as much as I have... to have been taught to love life, people and this world....to have been born to the son and daughter of these four beautiful human beings...

With the passing away of Aita ,a whole generation has passed by...We love you aita and we will miss you...

Assam...Guwahati..."Anandam", home and life as I know it, will never be the same again...

An anniversary of sorts...

2010-12-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

My blog turns two years old the day after tomorrow...24 months...31 posts...and I have kept coming back after quite a few short hiatus'(if that word can be used in the plural at all :))

I started the blog on a rather solemn note two years back, while I was struggling to give vent to and verbalise my thoughts,guilt and anger as I watched the events of the three days preceding and following the November 2008 blasts in Mumbai unfold on televison...

Since then "Slice of life" and I have come a long way...

Travel...music...movies...books...theatre...adventures...issues...
nostalgia...memories...joys...sorrows...dilemmas...tid bits of life's precious moments...slices of life...

Though the posts have really been few and far between as compared to regulars and veterans in blogosphere, nevertheless these are slices and moments of my life that I have chosen to share with you...and over the past two years, I have realized and have been encouraged by you, the readers to share more and more of my life experiences through my blog with a sense of liberty and freedom, I have never felt earlier...

Inspiration to write (which, unfortunately is not too often) comes in various forms and at the oddest of hours...initially when D was traveling a lot, I would be inspired to write whenever he was away ...needless to say, D wasn't really happy about the fact that my creativity found fodder and expression only when he was away :)....that was a transient phase though...the spurts of inspiration soon started showing up when I was driving to work... the long, rather arduous, hour long drive to work and back does come with it's share of benefits,after all, doesn't it !! ;))...sometimes I get inspired when I am in the lab, simulating some important experiment or am really busy at work...sometimes inspiration comes in the form of the most elementary of conversations I have with D and sometimes inspiration comes when I am in the loo...he he...hmmmm...wherever, whenever it may be , I feel this inherent need to immediately pen down my thoughts because before long and before I realize it, they invariably just fizzle out...but all's well as long as I continue to be inspired to write, I guess...which is in a weird kind of way, almost cathartic for me...

I feel an enormous sense of appreciation towards all of you who drop by and read...some of you are regulars, who visit my blog frequently...some of you drop by once in a while...some of you think what I write is trash....others keep coming back for more...some of you take the time share your thoughts and perspective with your comments, irrespective of whether you agree or disagree with me (thus adding value by keeping the interactive element of blogging alive) ...some of you read and are happy sharing an unspoken sense of camaraderie as you realize that the basic issues of life are things that all of us struggle with...it's just that some of us express them openly, others choose not to but either way we are not alone in dealing with them... I have made friends in blogosphere whom I would have never gotten to know otherwise...and I am really grateful for that...my thoughts and posts have been endorsed by many, which gives me strength and inspires me to continue writing...my thoughts and posts have also been refuted by many...and that too gives me the strength and inspiration to improve, think about issues from different view points and perspectives but still continue writing...so thank you all :)

I really do hope I will continue to have the courage to share slices of life experiences through this blog as I move forward ... and I hope this hobby doesn't fizzle out into thin air like a lot of my other hobbies have...fingers crossed about that...

So I leave you on that note for now...

Have a safe and beautiful holiday season folks !! :)

The paradox called life

2010-11-12T10:07:00.000-08:00

Paradoxical as it may sound, despite being an essentially absent-minded personality, there is one thing I am a particularly keen observer of, and that is human behavior...

Now I do understand that there is probably a very thin line between just observing human behavior and judging...so let's just put it this way, defensive as it may sound, I love interacting with people from all walks of life ....human behavior fascinates me, and while I observe and try to figure out why a person behaves the way he /she does without letting any hearsay /preconceived notions bias my opinion, I don't judge,for the most part I give people the benefit of the doubt and prefer to just go with the flow and let relationships develop, if they are meant to ...all the while, trying to keep those human sensitivities, I have observed in folks over the years, in mind, while interacting...

Now there is a good side to this trait and a bad...the good side is that, not having fixed/inflexible notions of what is right and wrong, I have the capability to allow for all shades of grey in human beings, including myself of course :)...and learning not to be judgmental has helped me form some beautiful, warm friendships and relationships in life, that I'll cherish forever...the downside however, is that for each of those five fulfilling friendships and relationships, there are always a couple where over time, you realize you have been taken for granted / been taken for a royal ride and where there was perhaps only an illusion of warmth and affection...for in a lot of cases, the little and sometimes even big things and thoughts in life go unappreciated :))...

Oh well, that's life...and it' s paradoxical indeed...

Now coming back to the post...so what's paradoxical about life...some observations…

The fact that when people have a job, they wish they didn’t, they could just laze around and chill instead...and the fact that when people don't have a job, they wish they did...
The fact that when people have children, they wish they were just a couple...and when people don't have children, they wish they did...
The fact that when people are surrounded by folks who love and respect them, they take them for granted...and when they are gone, they crave their company...
The fact that when people are unhappy and sad, they give the illusion of perfection...
The fact that when people have all that they have ever wanted in life, they realize their search hasn't ended yet...
Essentially the feeling that the grass is invariably greener on the other side...when it isn't :)

Yes, the paradox called life…

For all our differences, and believe me there are many, for once D and I are on the same page at least on this one...live life in the moment and live it up...that helps us try to keep clear off these paradoxes for the most part...and I do hope it will remain that way in the years to come...but then you never know,do you... after all life is a paradox in itself and only time will tell what is in store for us...:)

Happy Friday folks!!

P.S. A couple of days back, a long lost friend of mine called from India to share a piece of good news...it was around 1:00a.m. in the morning when I received the call and despite not having had a chance to speak to her in the past 5 odd years and over the period of years, the email exchanges having become extremely rare, it took me less than a second to recognize the voice, after the initial,"Hello, is it Priyanka?" :)...the call made my day...and yes, there I was flooded with memories of all the times we had spent together ...a friend who has been very much an integral part of my life journey so far :)...so cheers to that!

Memories...the journey and the destination

2010-11-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, we went for this play called "Broken Images" performed by Shabana Azmi...I love theatre and fortunately for me, unlike in a lot of other activities, it hasn't taken much effort on my part to bring 'D' into the theatre watching fold :). Being an ardent Shabana Azmi fan, it wouldn't have taken much for me to get impressed anyways. But it was a stellar performance ,indeed, by the Indian theatre icon as she kept us on the edge of our seats , engrossed in the one act plot of Girish Karnad's psychological thriller for a full hour...Earlier this year, we had the opportunity to go for another wonderful play called 'the Blue Mug' starring cinema and theatre personalities, Konkana Sen Sharma, Ranbir Shenoy, Vinay Pathak and Rajat Kapoor, among others.

'The Blue Mug', which apparently falls into the experimental theatre genre explored the importance of memories in the lives of human beings...with each of the actors depicting real memories from their personal lives... 'Broken Images', a post modernist play, demonstrated the exploration of the subconscious mind and pysche of a renowned writer,trying to come to terms with her sudden rise to international fame, through her memories...

Whoa...don't stop reading here... this blogpost is not supposed to be an elaborate review of the above two plays...I mention them only because they got me thinking about how important a role memories play in our lives ...the vacuum, that personally, my life would be without memories :)

For a moment, sit back and think about the following:

When you undertake a venture or for that matter do anything in life, be it personal or professional...what is most important to you....the 'journey' or the 'destination' ...the journey, as in, the relationships you build...the good times...the bad times...the falls...the learnings from failures...the small stepping stones...the love, affection and respect you make and take...

If the 'destination' and the 'end' is all that matters, then this post probably would not make much sense to you...you would be among those laughing your guts out, right now, about me making such a big deal about memories ...'cause for you, the excitement and thrill all lies in 'the end'...the 'destination' is all that matters...the 'journey' and hence memories have very little meaning...the end always justifies the means...good or bad, that's the way your life will probably always be...for the major part perhaps - devoid of any meaningful, valuable memories...

However if you are one of those for whom the journey is what matters rather than the destination, then you would understand why I am making such a big deal about memories:)...yes, memories that make you smile, memories that make you pick up the phone and make that long due call to a dear one, memories that make you reach out to your loved one and give him or her a warm hug,memories that make you laugh,memories that make you cry...good or bad,memories that make you 'YOU' !!

Today, as we celebrate,Diwali, the festival of lights in India, for all of you for whom the journey is as , if not more important than the destination...as you start a new year and make new beginnings in life, may your life be filled with beautiful memories that lead you to the destination you aspire to reach - whatever, whereever it may be :)

Happy Diwali folks!!

Joie di vivre...

2010-09-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

We were exactly halfway through our European vacation, briskly walking around the cobbled streets of Rome, just outside Vatican city...D, the very efficient navigator throughout the whole trip, as usual with map in hand, while I, the directionally challenged of the two, was lost in thought...we were trying to find our way through the 'borgos' and 'vias' of Rome, searching for this local Italian gourmet eat out called 'Angeli', which was highly recommended by Daniel, the caretaker of our hotel...I abruptly stopped for a moment, turned towards D and said something to the effect of, "Wouldn't it be great to have a vocation that was a combination of Anthony Bourdain's and Samantha Brown's !":)...D, for a moment, was taken aback by the suddenness of the halt to our walk...but then he recovered, soon enough, just laughed out loud and said, 'But of course!':)...After all, who wouldn't want an opportunity to travel whole year round to big places and small, exotic and not so exotic locations...discovering tidbits about different cultures and experimenting with local cuisine, food and drinks...

So yes for two weeks, we did exactly what Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown and ‘n’ other travel enthusiasts probably do the whole year round...

It was a whirlwind Europe trip...a trip that took us through the liberal and resilient streets of Amsterdam...gave us a flavor of the continental urbanity and sophistication of Paris...provided us with a glimpse of the 2000 year old Roman civilization...charmed us with the beauty and laid back life of the French Riviera...provided a peek into the glitz and glamour of Monte Carlo and finally took us on a beautiful journey through the fairytale land of Swiss cities, villages, lush green meadows and of course the Alps...we did it all...from "Amsterdam's coffee shops", where coffee constituted the smallest section of the menu, to Moulin Rouge in Paris...from basking in the luxuries of five star lodging in the bigger cities to cozying up in local bed and breakfasts in the small Swiss villages, hosted by some very warm and affectionate locals...we did all...the touristy 'been there, done it’ kinda stuff as well as set out exploring locations and places that were off the beaten path...from hanging out over food and drinks with locals at gourmet eat outs to fine dining, from traveling by air to bus to tram to subway to train to boat...yes we did it all...mountains, beaches, snow, sunshine, lakes, rivers, meadows, villages, cities...and now we are back...back to the grind, trying to relive and share those two beautiful weeks through the memories we created , the photographs and videos, through which we tried to capture it all...yes that's 'joie di vivre', the joy of living !!

Our first stop was Amsterdam...the gorgeous, liberal, tolerant, freewheeling Dutch city...with beautiful canal lined neighborhoods and cobbled streets...the famous /infamous 'coffee shops' and cafes...and not to forget a huge red light district...The first day we were there, it was raining...but fortunately the weather got better soon enough for us to explore whole of the city in a relaxed manner...As far as the traditional Dutch food that we had, was concerned, the dishes were mainly based on dutch cheese, a lot of meat, potatoes and most dishes had a very distinct apple aftertaste in most gravies. In fact apple seemed to be a primary constituent in most Dutch desserts as well in addition to spices like cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. As far as drinks were concerned, I stuck to wine...while D experimented with local Dutch beers:)...All in all, a fun city and good food...in fact among the bigger cities, I personally would keep Amsterdam high on my list if you were looking for a good balance of urbanity and coziness...

Next stop Paris...we took the Thalys from Amsterdam to Paris...so got a feel for what life at 350 kms an hour feels like :)...As far as the city itself is concerned, this is what Ernest Hemingway had to say about it,"If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast"...and the three odd days we spent in the city were definitely enough for D and I to get a pulse of this beautiful place and bow down and say ‘amen’ to Hemingway’s words...Paris is undoubtedly a landmark of continental urbanity and sophistication, but has something in some corner of the city for everyone...the writer , the painter, the dancer, the singer,the romantic, the lover, the banker, the shopaholic, the foodie, the traveler, you and me...that's what makes this city so special and interesting...a lot of memories...a tour of all the historical monuments and museums...an evening river cruise on the Seine...a traditional French dinner across the river and across the gorgeous Notre Dame Cathedral...the vibrant Latin Quarters...the historic St.Marais quarter...a sweet language...very friendly and helpful locals (despite the language barrier, contradicting a lot of our preconceived notions)...lazing around, sitting by the road side cafes and people watching...patisseries, creperies, wines, truffes, creme brulees, tarte tatins, chocolate mousse, macaroon cookie tarts,exotic croissants ..and of course, Moulin Rouge,the origin of the cabaret and the French Can Can...After a really long day of walking around the streets of Paris, I had almost convinced D to just couch in the hotel instead of heading out for dinner and Moulin Rouge...but am I glad that D insisted and persisted that it would be a lovely evening...and that's eaxactly how it turned out...a perfect evening!! So that's a must do whenever you are in Paris next...

Next stops Monte Carlo and Nice...that's exactly what we needed after 5 days of walking through the streets of Paris and Amsterdam...the charm and laid back life of the French Riviera :)...We spent a couple of days lying around on the beaches of Monte Carlo and exploring the small hill town as well as old town Nice...Though fascinated by the glitz and glamour of Monte Carlo, the playground of the rich and the famous in Europe, I was more in awe of the scenic beauty and charm of this beautiful , cozy , small little town perched on a hill...The beaches were pretty but were pebbled beaches, which made it slightly painful to go into the water...I personally prefer the sand beaches of St'Johns in the US Virgin Islands any day over pebbled beaches...but the beauty of the landscape of the French Riviera with those huge cliffs plunging into the ocean and the lush green hills dotted with small homes, lining the beach landscape, is absolutely breathtaking...was two days of complete relaxation…

Next stop Rome...what do I say about a 2000 year old civilization, that has the old and the new, the ancient and the current so perfectly juxtaposed next to each other...it was pretty overwhelming walking around this city in person...it also put of a lot of things in perspective as far as how this ancient civilization has had an influence on lot of newer cities in the world as far as architecture and culture is concerned...as far as people were concerned, I got a vibe that was very similar to India...and no it's not just full of thugs, like people make it out to be....again despite the language barrier, people were very helpful and warm...I guess that’s very characteristic of Rome and parts of Italy south of Rome...I wouldn’t say the same of Venice and Milan though, which we visited few years back...it's just that like in all big cities, you need to be aware and alert of your surroundings...that's all...

And then finally we started the last leg of our journey... a four and half day trip through fairy tale land...Switzerland...Geneva, Zurich, Lucerne, Interlaken, Gstaad, Spiez, Gilwis, Brienz...a small , but breathtakingly beautiful country...While maintaining bases in Geneva, Interlaken and Lucerne, we would just hop on to a train and randomly get off at a destination of our choice , spend a few hours there and then move on....cities, small towns, villages, lush green meadows dotted with beautiful chalets,lakes, mountains, glaciers...essentially unsurpassed scenic beauty...I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, as and when I put them up...but the doze of the train trip through the mountains, valleys and villages of rural Switzerland topped with swiss chocolates, fondues and Roschti...was a lovely, relaxing way to end to the European vacation...

We travelled by train from one place to another, across countries....though it's slightly more expensive than air travel, for people like me who hate being cooped up for hours in airports and planes when on a vacation, personally I feel it's the best way to see Europe...specially if you are on a short trip (less than three weeks), spanning multiple countries...it takes at least half a day to get your bearings in a new city and country, so getting used to a language and traffic signs could become strenuous if one opts to drive around instead...but train travel provides a very good feel of how the topology and demographics change as we cross regions, cities and countries and more importantly, it gives one the opportunity to interact with the locals...and believe it or not funnily enough, you find ways of communicating, interacting and getting a vibe of the culture despite all perceivable language barriers...that's what travelling is all about , aint't it !

But yes, now we are back...back to the grind...it feels good to be back home...to familiar surroundings and one's own bed...though we terribly miss the excitement and pulse of the life we led the past two weeks :)...and while I hope that some day I will have a vocation that's a combination of Samantha Brown's and Anthony Bourdain's...for now, I am happy just to dream and work towards the next stop...whereever, whenever it may be...yes, that's 'joie di vivre', the joy of living !!

Sowing and reaping…

2010-08-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

I remember , as a child, my grandfather used to read out these inspirational bed time stories emphasising the philosophy of reaping what you sow...of doing unto others what you would want others to do to you...and all of us, who have heard those stories as a child, am sure have tried to live by that principle for the major part...

But sometimes, it makes me wonder if times have changed to the extent where this philosphy no longer applies...are all of us who believe in the philosophy living in a utopian world or could it be that the principle only applies to people who believe in it :)...it makes me wonder, for all my abilities of seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty,if what goes around really come around in today's world...

Giving off positive vibes, thinking positive, smiling no matter what, treating others as you want to be treated...is that how life should be led...or have we reached a stage in life and the universe where being selfish is considered ok and reaps long term happiness...I wonder...

Is being empathetic towards and treating people with the kind of respect and value that you would like to be treated deemed foolish in today's world...I wonder...

Being always unsure about my thoughts and views on such issues, I generally pose such questions to friends in terms of scenarios...in this particular case, while two of my friends were endorsing the "the as you sow,so shall you reap " philosophy wholeheartedly...this third friend of mine almost wanted to shake me out of what she thought was a utopian reverie, as she said that in the modern era, she believes and observes a lot of selfish "a**holes" who seem happy:)...it was both funny and scary the way she said what she said and all of a sudden, for all my resilience and abilities to look at the glass as being half full, I was overwhelmed by a bout of cynicism :-(

So what do you think...does what go around really come around...in the modern era, does one really reap what one sows !!

Musings...

2010-08-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, after we got back from a friend's birthday party and were getting set to go to bed, D came and gave me a big, warm hug and said..."Jaan you are such a simpleton "...

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have known whether to get offended (considering it a slap on my intelligence) or take that as a compliment:)...but the warmth of the hug and "I love you for that" that accompanied the statement left little doubt about what the the intent of the statement was...that aside, I still haven't gotten an answer as to what triggerred the statement...hopefully a bit of probing in the evening will lead me to that...am hoping I didn't end up doing anything really, really silly and foolish, though :)

But that's besides the point...the point is, being the die hard romantic that I am, these are life's little(a lot of people would say silly) moments and spontaneous expressions of love that I live for...and so D says he is lucky because I am apparently very easy to keep happy and contented :)...and hopefully it will remain that way in the years to come!

That aside, nothing much is really happening other than work on weekdays and chilled out weekends...we are getting set for a two week European vacation, which both of us are really excited about, and D's birthday is coming up...and this time for some weird reason, I feel a bit of pressure as far as my cooking skills are concerned...for all those who don't yet know about my tryst with cooking, here's the post on my love hate relationship with the art of cooking ...so wish me luck :)

Fitting in , Standing out, Masking and Unmasking

2010-07-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

Back to blogosphere after a break with a rather instrospective topic :)

People fascinate me...and among 'n' not so desirable qualities which both D and I may have, there is one quality I am really proud of, that enriches our lives and makes it really worthwhile...and that's our love for people and diversity...

I have been fortunate enough to have lived in different parts of India as a child, lived dormitory life as a student and then of course have had the opportunity to interact with different kinds of people from all over India and the world, from different social and economic backgrounds, in the professional and social environment...essentially I have had opportunities galore to learn a whole lot of things about people and cultures that have added enriched perspectives to different facets of my life...I would be lying if I said I love every aspect of every person I meet, I wouldn't really be human if that were the case:)...what I am trying to say is that being open minded about people, in general, has helped me learn important things from a lot of people I have come in contact with...that has enriched my life...I am grateful for that...and that sense of gratitude adds to whatever little sense of tolerance I have...

Yesterday I caught up with a friend of mine over coffee and had a very interesting and refreshing discussion...the discussion among other things involved the notion of "fitting in and sometimes living with the illusion of being liked and loved vs standing out for who you are and being genuinely liked and loved, if loved at all"..my friend had some rather interesting incidents to narrate...I will not dwell on those further...

But yes, the general observation was that a lot of people try to fit themselves into stereotypes...aka "the intellectual", "the cool dude/dudette", "the goody two shoes","the connoisseur","the spiritualist"...doing things not because they are passionate about it or love it or believe in it but because they feel that's the "cool" or " in" or "right" thing to do, given the circumstances...perhaps it emerges from their inherent human need to be accepted into certain cliques... you see certain facets of their personality emerge with a specific set of people and a completely different facet of the same personality trait emerge in front of another set of people or another situation...it's scary, but true ..not just that, they often keep you guessing most of the time about who they are and in most cases, as these people keep wearing one mask above the other and trying to fit into different cliques, they often adopt a condescending attitude towards people who would much rather stand out in the crowd for who they are and still love and be loved/hated rather than fit in for reasons they don't necessarrily believe in...another observation was that we rarely see such people having too many constants in their life...they always seem to be in a perennial, never ending search for something more!!

While both my friend and I love debates, on this issue ,we were unfortunately on the same side of the discussion :)...so there was not much of a debate...both of us felt that the kind of people we are, we would much rather stand out in the crowd for who we are and be loved/hated for that while we learn and assimilate perspective from people coming from different backgrounds, while making and keeping them a part of our lives...but then of course we had this feeling that perhaps we were missing some important point here, that was biasing us towards our viewpoint...so I just thought, it would be a good idea to throw this topic out for debate on the blog...

So what do you think, in today's world, what constitutes happiness, contentment and success... "Fitting into preset notions and cliques and having a sense of belonging there" or " Standing out for who you while being flexible and learning from diverse people and life experiences and assimilating everyone's experiences into your lives"....my friend and I feel it's the latter...but then more often than not, I definitely am wrong:)...so do share your perspective if the issue strikes a chord…

So is "fitting in" synonymous to living life on someone else's terms while "standing out" in the above context synonymous to living life on your own terms...or have I got it all wrong ? And if it is, is one or the other the right way of living life !?

A revelation...

2010-06-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

(Update: 9th September, 2011

Added blog post entry for inclusion in Sulekkha's(http://sulekkha.blogspot.com/2011/09/lets-make-collage-of-articles.html)collage of articles on "Soul Mates".Feel this entry echoes my thoughts on a soulmate most accurately...so here's a toast to times shared with a person , who you think is your soulmate, of course while the relationship and feeling lasts :) )

It's not any special day today...just an ordinary day when I started my long drive to work relatively early by my standards (early as in , 7:30 am in the morning...yes, for all those who know me well and my love for sleeping...that's really,really early :-) )...but that's besides the point...the point is that, amidst the ordinariness of the day in general, while listening to my regular dose of music during my drive to work, I had an extraordinary revelation of sorts :-)

A month or so back, a few of us friends went for a trip to a state park... at night as all us sat together, revelling in nostalgia and some great music, buzzed as usual with just the right amount of alcohol, conversations got interesting, as they generally do at such outings …amidst a couple of pointed questions, this friend of mine asked me a question, an answer to which funnily enough, after all these years of being together with D, I could not articulate effectively…the gist of his question was , given how different D and I are in a lot of ways, as in likes /dislikes etc., what is it that made us click initially and have helped us stay together so far, despite quite a few ups and downs in the relationship…after all, to start with , we were polar opposites…he was the “naughty dude…the bad boy”….I was “miss goody two shoes”…he was a “back bencher”…I was a “front bencher”…he was “funny”…I lacked a “sense of humor”…at least then I did…not anymore though…he he…I “loved books and reading” …books and conversations were then my primary source of information and knowledge …his “attention span was limited to seconds” as far as reading is concerned… life experiences and people interactions and conversations were his primary source of information and knowledge ...and the list goes on and on…

Now even today, I have a lot of reasons that could motivate me to kick D’s a** and leave him thristy and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow :-(... he loves golf, football, basketball, tennis , ‘n’ other sports and his car more than me...he picks on me, gangs up against me and makes fun of me at the slightest provocation, more often than not in public...he insists he is a better cook than I am and not just that, he sits on the couch while I slog it out in the kitchen, shouting out 'fundaes' about the fundamentals of cooking ( this , after knowing how hard I have worked to develop whatever few cooking skills I have)...he doesn’t quit smoking despite my repeated pleas to him to do so...he promises to come early from golf and get grocery done for a party we are hosting, but ends up coming a couple of hours late and stressing me out of my wits...and the list goes on and on...

But now, let me mention the revelation I had...just one simple reason that would stop me from leaving D thirsty and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow:)...D is absolutely comfortable in his own skin...with him, you really don’t have to keep guessing “what’s really going on?”...what you see is what you get...and what that means for me is that it helps me feel comfortable in my own skin ...helps me just be myself everywhere anytime...and it means being completely stress free, even when I have the illusion of being stressed, if you know what I mean :-)...well that’s the ‘early morning’ revelation I was talking about...nothing mushy, mushy or cheesy but a revelation nevertheless...though I agree you would say ,after three decades of life, 4 and half years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each other...it’s perhaps a late revelation on a rather ordinary day...but an important revelation for me,nevertheless...:)

Tid Bits !!

2010-05-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

I go out for a 'girls night out' with my friends...I come back home...and I am a complete chatterbox...I invariably have a deluge of things to talk about...ok girls, now don't get me wrong...I do follow the ‘girl code’ and not divulge any secrets that shouldn't be divulged...those are the ones sealed in blood and buried forever ...you know you can trust me on that...at least I haven’t let you down on that so far :-)...but the point I am trying to make is, I always do have more things to talk about and share than not!!

D, who in general loves talking and giving his opinion and fundaes on everything under the sun, goes out for a 'boys night out'...he comes back home...he is quiet...ok folks, don't let your perverted minds take over and scare me as well...now I do trust D enough to tell me if he is out on some adventurous night out, painting the town red ...so am really not worried about that bit :)!! Either way, coming back to the point...

I ask, "What did you boys do"...His answer, “Just hung out over drinks and a game of poker"...

I ask, "What did you guys talk"...His answer, "Nothing"...

I ask again, "How can you guys not talk about anything specific and just hang out...tell me na what did you guys talk"...His answer, "I don't remember"...

I become more assertive thereafter, "You don't tell me anything...why don't you tell me anything?!"...

His response “I have a ‘boy code’ to adhere to...don't ask me questions I shouldn't be answering or about things that don't involve me“...Now, apparently the ‘boy code’ has absolutely no scope for letting out filtered excerpts of 'boys night out' conversations...Whatever!! And then he continues, “Plus guys don't bond over constant chatter about random topics like you girls...we may be glued to our blackberries, drinking beer and watching a game ...without feeling the need to utter a word to each other and still bonding"...

I go into a thoughtful mode, "Really...how boring is that!! Life without unstreamlined, spontaneous conversations on random and often irrelevant
topics with girlfriends! Thank God I am not a guy :-)!”

Is it just me or do I have company here?!

Tagged...

2010-04-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

Garima tagged me to get my take on the 5ives :-)...and provided the much needed momentum to revive the blog after more than a months' hiatus...so thanks girl...

So here you go...

5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen:

1. Bruno : Crude,gross and offensive...not having watched Borat, was driven to the theatre out of sheer curiosity to check out what all the fuss was about...5 mins into the movie and I realized , I could never be a fan of the Baron "disgusting" Cohen kind of humor.

2. My Name is Khan : The ardent Shah Rukh Khan fan that I am, I generally pull D and whoever else is around and ready to be lured to one of the first shows of all his movies...this one was such a torture...the only
saving grace being the fact that we were with 10 other friends who felt equally, if not more tortured ;-), and just that fact and the laughs that we've had about the movie thereafter just made the movie watching ordeal so much more bearable :-)

3. Karzzzz : Yes , 'the Himes' bhai starrer with 4 zs...an absolute shitty remake of the Rishi Kapoor starrer that I love...now, don't ask me why I even ventured to watch the Karzzz with 4 zs :-)...I guess I was just dead bored and had nothing better to do...

4. All about Steve : An absolutely cheerless and unfunny rom-com...D refuses to hit the theatre with me for any supposed "rom coms" after this experience ...poor me !!

5. Saawariyaan : I can't have anything more to add than what the GreatBong already says in his review :-)...Movie was pathetic essentially...

5 places where you don't want to be seen dead at :

1. In my own kitchen, with a bowl of cooked Maggi noodles next to me :-)...I love Maggi...D believes Maggi is unhealthy, though he keeps hogging on a fair share of it himself, all the while trying to stop me from cooking and eating Maggi...I would hate to have him live with the nagging thought that I died of a Maggi overdose, though:-)

2. Any place which has one or more cats in the vicinity...Urggh ...the thought of dying among cats freaks me out!

3. In the middle of a golf course or even a driving range, while trying to learn golf...that would be embarrasing even in death, having so vehemently expressed my dislike for the game in an earlier post :-)

4. A shady club :-)...Decided to borrow this from Garima ...like she says, I don't really need to spell it out in words for folks to understand...what kind of club I am talking about...I really don't want adsense to start popping up family unfriendly ads on a family friendly blog :-)

5. On a more serious note, any place where I am alone...and not surrounded by people!!

5 accessories you can create out of food :

1. Strawberry earrings :
Split a strawberry in half and it could give you a pair of earrings perfect to go with a spring/summer dress :-)

2. Green peas and red thai chilli combo necklace :
Alternate green peas and thai red chillies could be stringed together to make a necklace...

3. Onion, Tomato,Lemon bangles :
Slice them up horizontally , scoop out the center pulp where applicable and you could end up with set of a churiyaans/bangles with the ingredients for a healthy sandwich/salad...I am not to be blamed for any form of breakage and foul smells:-)

4. Almond jewellery set :
Almonds when stringed together could make a good necklace/bracelet and even dangling earrings

5. Pumpkin decorations :
Carved and painted pumpkins make good decorative accessories :-).Since the tag says just accessories, I just decided to deviate slightly and move on to decorative accessories from dress accessories.

5 People you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere :

1. MCPs of course ...anytime, anywhere ...my heels are ready to beat up one of those!!

2. Cowards...people who can't stand up for friends, family and near/dear ones when needed and chicken out...they frustrate me to the point where I could easily be agitated enough to use my heels on them :-)

3. Judgmental people...people who form an opinion about another the first time they meet /talk and refuse to give the person the benefit of the doubt, no matter what happens over time !

4. Nosey people who care about and poke their heads into everyone else’s lives other than their own!

5. On a lighter note, my little brother...for all the karate and taekwondo kicks he practised on me when we were young...these would be friendly pats though...definitely not with my heels :-)

5 things you’d do to scare anybody :

Do I really need to think of 5 things in this category…I can think of just one as of now...

I, by myself, with loads of makeup...bloody red lipstick...tons of eyeliner and kajal...face covered with a pack...head covered in henna...emerging from behind a door under dim/candle light...that would be enough to scare anyone off...have already tried this one on D and he can vouch for the scary part of it...if only I can find the photograph he had taken and put it up here...that would compensate for my lack of creativity in coming up with the rest of the four I guess :-)

Update:15th April...Initially forgot the most important part of tagging fellow blogger friends :-(

Am gonna tag Rims and Rush ...others please feel free to pick up the tag, when you drop by the blog and read :-)

All in the name of women empowerment...

2010-03-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

If you ask me, what I think about the women's reservation bill passed in the Indian parliament today...three simple words describe my state of mind..."I feel insulted"...period...

Oh yeah...you are most welcome to shout out abuses at me for not supporting the cause of women in India...but the fact remains, I feel insulted...

Blame it all on having being born into a privileged family, where I have never been discriminated against because of my gender...a life in which, I have been taught to value and cherish education and the power of choice...I agree that I may just be missing the point...I may just be ignorant of how 'reservations' for different sections has helped the Indian society progress in the past...maybe some of you could throw more light on that...perhaps the bill is really a beacon all set to light the path for empowering Indian women in politics and other arenas...I really haven't bothered to understand the nitty /gritty details of the bill...and I absolutely realize that my opinion is clouded by my relatively privileged upbringing...but the fact remains that as a woman, I feel insulted...not empowered, now that it's been offcially stamped that women are the weaker sex in the country of my birth...

Personally I feel the need for reservations for any section of the society, gender based or otherwise, spells the failure of a system and the society, at large to faciliate the progress and development of that specific section of people...rarely, if at all, does it empower the system and its people...

So far, in life, whatever major decisions I have taken, are the outcomes of choices that I have made...what I want to study, where I want to live, whom I want to marry, what I want to do with life in general...and whatever I have achieved or not achieved, in life, is because of my merits and demerits and the choices that I have made...not because of favors and disfavors that have been meted out to me...what makes me feel empowered is being given those life choices and being held accountable for them...

What Indian women need is the power that comes with education , the opportunity of making educated choices and being given the respect for a choice that's been consciously made...'respect for a choice that's been consciously made' is particularly important here...

Given the choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it, not stereotyped...

Given a choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it, not reprimanded for being over ambitious...

Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it and allowed to do so on her merit...

Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it and not looked down upon based on some preconceived, stereotypical notion of lack of merit...

Given a choice between bearing and rearing a child out of wedlock and letting go, if a woman chooses the former...she should be respected for her courage to singlehandedly bring up a child, not accused of irresponsibilty without being given a chance to prove otherwise...

Any self respecting person, be it a man or a woman, will tell you that there is no greater inspiration, motivation and feeling of euphoria than that which is achieved based on one's merit, intelligence, smartness and hardwork...that's an indisputable fact...any person who has reached the pinnacle of success in an arena of work or society, and has been favored by some form of reservation to do so, can never feel or be equal to someone who has done so solely on merit...be it a man or a woman...there is nothing more to it...so where does the illusion of 'empowerment' really come from ??!!! I don't have an answer...perhaps you do?

I have to confess today to having had a short fling with ...

2010-02-24T19:57:00.001-08:00

the game of cricket long, long ago ...

My infatuation with the game was triggered by one very close India-Australia match in the Reliance Cricket World Cup ...it was the match in which India needed two runs to win off the last two balls of the game...we were down to the last wicket...Maninder Singh was batting...Kiran More was at the non-striker's end...Steve Waugh was the bowler, if I remember correct...we were all at home, our eyes glued to the TV set, all of us being our absolute 'cricket' superstitious selves...mom, who had absolutley no idea about cricket was forced to sit with us and watch the game, whole day long, just because her being around the tv had brought India luck in one of the earlier games, or so we liked to believe :-)...you know how crazy Indians tend to become when talking and watching cricket...the 5th ball of the last over of the match was bowled by Waugh...the ball briskly spun over the pitch knocking the bails off the wickets...Singh was back to the pavilion...India lost the match by one run with one ball to spare...but at the end of it all, I was hooked to cricket...

Thereafter I passionately followed every one day international and test match played across the globe...cheered and celebrated India's wins...mourned India's losses...and was absolutely in love with the game,or so I thought...but perhaps it was just an illusion, after all...cause my infatuation with cricket ended just as abruptly, as it had started ...

It was the Wills Trophy final between India and Pakistan in Sharjah...Aaquib Javed's hatrick...Sachin Tendulkar sent back to the pavilion for a golden duck...Pakistan going on to win the trophy...I was absolutely devastated...so much so that it spelled the beginning of the end of my love for the game ...of course, not to deny being further disillusioned by all the controversies and charges surrounding some of the players I had hero worshipped , Azhar and Cronje to name a few, in the years that followed...

That was then, more than a decade back...since then there have been a lot of players who have entered and left the cricketing arena...some have left in glory...some in shame...records have been set and broken...one day internationals have given way to the more exciting and adrenaline pumping 20-20 form of the game and to add to it is the almost inexplicable IPL frenzy...honestly speaking. I haven't really put an effort to keep myself up to date with what's happening in this sport, that I once loved... all that I have been keeping myself updated with is silly gossip that keeps doing the media rounds...who the new handsome hunks in the game are...which cricketer is dating whom...which cricketer has ditched whom and all such BS...sad and shameful, but true nevertheles...

Today though, as I read the headlines about Sachin Tendulkar's record setting double century in Gwalior and subsequently watched the highlights of the game, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of euphoria,hope,admiration, inspiration and pride...22 years of life dedicated to a sport and through all the ups and downs, still going strong ,more or less untainted by major controversies...a historical moment in world cricket...a moment of glory for the Indian sports world...a moment that managed to momentarily rekindle a small flame of the love and passion for the game of cricket that I had once nurtured...a moment that made me bow down in respect and admiration for the Master Blaster, Sachin Tendulkar...the messiah of the only 'true' religion in the country of my birth !!! Here's a toast to 22 years of his glorious cricketing career ...

Random musings...

2010-02-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

My posts have become few and far between in the past months...it's not for the dearth of things to write about though... it's just that words don't seem to come very easily to me anymore...so here I am, trying to get back into the groove of writing again :-)

It's been a cold, cold winter for all of us living in the Washington, DC region...snow, snow and more snow :-)...total snow accumulation in the two and half months of winter we've seen so far is supposed to be more than 60 odd inches...apparently more than what upstate New York and Boston put together have seen this season...and to think of it, winter hasn't ended yet...As I looked out of the window this morning , I was elated to see the sun shining down in the area after a really long, long time...this, after I have proclaimed my undying love for snow many a time earlier :-)!!!

The first flurries and showers of snow every winter always give me a big , big ‘rush’ ;-)…the white snow covered grounds, rooftops and the flora glistening in the moonlight add a fairy tailish zing to life and it’s that time of the year when I can just spend hours staring out of the window ,feeling completely in sync with William Henry Davies eloquent words on life...”What is this world , if not full of care…we have no time to stand and stare”...

It’s the aftermath of a snow storm that is difficult to deal with and tends to make me weary...specially with all the “cares” of the real world notoriously glaring down at us...shoveling the driveway, uncanny fears of the roof caving in or the deck collapsing under the weight of pounds of snow transformed to ice, hazards of driving to work and ‘n’ other , often unnecessary ,worries (not that I need any specific reason to get stressed about :-))...and when you have two back to back huge snow storms in an area , not used to being pounded by extensive snow storms, it just makes dealing with the aftermath all the more worse...

Thanks to some lovely friends and neighbors, D and I spent both snow storms, snowed in but partying in the company of some lovely people...

The snow storm over the Super bowl weekend was particularly memorable, less for the havoc it created and more for the fun all of us had...the initial plan was to have an informal get together at home on Super bowl Sunday, watching the game with some friends...but then with the weather forecast turning very gloomy for the weekend, with heavy snow fall predicted on both Friday and Saturday, D decided to turn the weekend into an impromptu ‘Super bowl shoveling’ party...so all weekend we were ten of us at home, making merry ,chit chatting, drinking , eating delicious home cooked food (everyone was an expert on one form of cuisine or another...so we had these whole variety of dishes laid out over the weekend), playing poker and board games, reveling in good music ,hogging on hookah and of course shoveling( we sure had to stick to the theme of the weekend party :-))...so now gambling, in the form of poker, has been added to my ever growing list of vices...nothing to be proud about, I agree...but I believe in living life to the fullest, while I still can:)...anyways, the Super bowl weekend ended on a high note with my team, the New Orleans Saints winning ...not that all of a sudden I love football any more than I used to (all of you have heard me cribbing enough about how neglected I feel due to D’s overwhelming love for the sport :-)), but in the spirit of the Superbowl party and the beautiful town of New Orleans, I was supporting the underdog...and so was happy seeing the Saints win!

Speaking of poker, after winning my first big hand this past weekend, I think I am just getting more addicted to it...it was funny how the guys would hold back on betting each time one of us, girls, bet aggressively...apparently girls are known to be conservative gamblers...and hence whenever they bet aggressively, it’s supposed to indicate they have really, really good cards in hand...talk about
stereotyping:-)!! Folks better be prepared for a fair share of surprises from us girls, on the poker table, in the months to come...

What else...watched "My Name is Khan"...movie totally sucked...Karan Johar should definitely stop trying to be different...and inspite of all my love for SRK, I was left totally disappointed...I had somehow managed to garner enough support to lure folks to the theatre for “Kurbaan”...most of my friends hated the movie...folks were lured in for ‘MNIK’ again, fortunately I was not the initiator of the plan this time...and folks hated ‘MNIK’ more than ‘Kurbaan’...this means I surely have to come up with some innovative bait to lure people to the theatre for the next Hindi flick I want to watch...so called four/five star reviews by Times of India and Rediff will definitely not do the trick next time around :-)

Some gloomy news as well...talks of more friends moving out of the area, taking cue from some dear friends who already moved out last year to make new beginnings in new places...that’s always depressing...it’s so difficult to find people with whom wavelengths match...and when you do find some, you really don’t want to let go...but then that’s what life is about, I guess...it’s never stagnant...people move on...you make new beginnings and life goes on, as one continues strengthening bonds and making memories with old friends and new...

The good news is that my brother is moving to New York City in a couple of weeks...so am really excited about that...I really have missed having family nearby...

So that’s about it really...no life changing events in the past month...just some memorable, snowy times...yes times and memories that make me sit back and smile, whenever life is not too full of ‘care’ and I have the time to stand and stare...

Back to the grind...

2010-01-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Just got back to Northern Virginia on Monday evening from a wonderful vacation back home in India, more specifically, in the beautiful state of Assam in India...this time around we also managed to squeeze in a short trip to the awe invoking Golden City of Jaisalmer, in Rajasthan...more about that in a bit...

The India trip didn’t start off on a very good note for me...I missed my connecting flight from Brussels to Delhi and subsequently from Delhi to Guwahati , resulting in a 24 hour delay in reaching home...did finally manage to reach Guwahati in one piece…D had flown in a day earlier and so he got to spend an extra day in Guwahati...grrrr...:-)

As I chit chatted with my parents in the car on my way home from the airport, at the first red traffic light we stopped, D pointed out one of the rolling advertisement hoardings by the side of the traffic crossing . An image of Lord Ganesha flashed on the screen and the following text rolled by:

‘Lord Ganesha says, “Save your head…not everyone is fortunate like me to get a replacement...wear a helmet, when on a two wheeler”...’

As D read out the rolling text on the hoarding aloud, both of us smiled and D said to me, “Welcome to India, babe!!”...In a weird kind of way, those rolling words on the hoarding by the side of the road, reflected the essence of the people and the current state of the country of my birth...it was a simple, intelligent, witty attempt to bring order into the chaos, that was and still defines a major part of India, by gently and subtly nudging the inherent spiritual sentiments and superstitious instinct of the common Indian man...as is always the case in such situations, apparently there had been a lot of objections initially to putting up such a message, considering it a denigration of Lord Ganesha...whatever...but I, for one, am sure Lord Ganesha would have absolutely no objection to having his image and name used to protect and save lives :-)

Anyways that’s that and I’ll come back to it later...

So what was the India trip like...short, hectic, fun-filled and beautiful...catching up with family, friends, loved ones, festivities ,getting royally pampered, fun, food, frolic, shopping, travel...great times essentially...

My dear mother and mom-in-law made sure they prepared all of D and my favorite dishes...Ma fed me with loads of ’Tenga jhool’(an assamese fish delicacy), ’Til pitha’ (an assamese sweet), ’Dahi wada’, ’Chocolate cake’, ’Narikolor barfi’ (Coconut sweet), ‘Bora saolor bake’(Another assamese delicacy with a specific kind of rice and jaggary that only my mom can make !!), ‘Prawn curry’, ’Dhania Aloo’ ,’Masor Jola’(Another fish dish)...Ahhh...she had got a special ‘razai’ (quilt) made for me because I love quilts and sleeping curled up in one, in the misty Guwahati winter, is my absolute favorite pass time :-)...we lazed around in the terrace garden at home, chit chatting and basking in the warmth and glory of the early afternoon sunshine...we drove around all our old favorite joints in the city and checked out all the new hot spots with friends and family...visited D’s high school...met up with a couple of our junior college professors...after a long, long time the whole family spent New Year’s eve together, partying in Guwahati...had ‘Uruka bhoj’ (a special dinner around a bonfire on the eve of the Assamese harvest festival of Bihu) at my aunt’s, and a grand Bihu lunch at Aita’s ( my grandmom)...watched ‘3 Idiots’ in a packed cinema hall with 12 other family members...caught up with some old school friends, most of whom I was meeting after more than a decade...thanks to a dear friend ,'P', for getting everyone together...had a lovely time...some are now married...others are not...some of them have kids...others don’t...some of them have changed...others haven’t...but everyone’s grown up to become such beautiful, amazing ladies in their own right...it was absolutely lovely meeting everyone after such a long, long time...then of course D and I hogged on street food...paani poories, bhel poories, allo tikkis, tandoori chicken, indo chinese food, momos, kebabs...you name it and we’ve had it, I am sure...

(By now you would have guessed that food constitutes a major part of all our travel plans and hence my blog posts...thank god both D and I are foodies:-) )

But one of the biggest highlights of the trip was a surprise visit to Guwahati by my dear brother, Ashish...Since D and my India trip was kind of a last minute plan(like it generally is for all our travel), Ash and I hadn’t been able to make our vacation days from work coincide...having had only recently got back from Guwahati to Bangalore after a 10 day break in early December, Ash had kept giving all of us the impression that he wouldn’t be able to make it to Guwahati while D and I were visiting...though I was upset, I had got reconciled to that fact...but on the afternoon of the 1st of January, while my parents and I were taking an afternoon nap, I felt a few gentle taps on my head...once, twice, thrice...and then as I opened my eyes and turned around to find the source of the irritant...lo and behold...there he was...yes my bratty, rock star brother :-)...he had flown into Guwahati to spend the weekend with us...and had absolutely made my day!!

Then there were of course these other teeny, weeny moments and gestures of warmth and affection that absolutely touched my heart and that I’ll cherish forever...like our 85 year old grand moms (both D and mine) entering the cold kitchen and with shaky hands trying to help cook some of our favorite childhood dishes...an aunt who put in all the effort to hand knit a cap for me , not knowing what else to gift me...'M', a lady who has been with our family helping with household chores ever since my brother’s birth, deciding to forgo a scheduled trip to visit her family in the village during the two day Bihu holiday, and instead deciding to spend that time at home with our family, cooking, chit chatting and taking care of me because she felt she hadn’t been able to pamper me enough, owing to a full time job at a cottage industry ma had just gotten her into...yes, life’s little moments that tug your heart and leave indelible impressions!

Then of course, D and I squeezed in a three day trip to Jaisalmer, a small town on the westernmost part of the state of Rajasthan on the border with Pakistan...we travelled to Jaisalmer via train from Old Delhi station...and returned to Delhi on one of those teeny, weeny turboprop flights from Jodhpur...that, in itself, as you can imagine, was an experience:-)...Jaisalmer is famous for the Golden Fort , that proudly stands amidst the golden stretches of the great Thar Desert and is the only residential fort in the world...We had made arrangements to stay at a haveli in the fort that had been converted to a boutique hotel...beautiful,royal architecture and interiors, a terrace restaurant, awe inspiring views of Jaisalmer city, delicious Rajasthani thalis (constituting yummy dal baati, churma, gatte ki sabzi, kair sangria, sukhi pooris among other Rajasthani delicacies) and extremely hospitable staff were the highlights of this small boutique hotel with a rather non Rajasthani name “Vitoria” ;-)…We went out on a camel safari to the Khuri sand dunes of the Thar Desert and reveled in the marvelty of enriching Rajasthani folk dance and music in one of the desert camps, around a bon fire, under the star filled skies over the Thar…Some of D and my closest friends are from Rajasthan...hence we have been at the receiving end of some overwhelming Rajasthani hospitality many a time before and I am glad this trip was no exception ;-)

Spent a couple of days in Delhi as well...some of the the changes in Delhi and it’s suburbs were revelations in themselves...six lane roads, posh malls and restaurants, high rise techno savvy offices, chic residential complexes, fancy cars, rich kids swerving their 'Mercs' and 'Bimmers' to a halt in shady nooks outside Priya cinema hall (apparently in the lookout for pimps and dope, I was told)...this ,juxtaposed against the ‘thela walas’, ‘rickshaw walas’, ‘cycle walas’ ,’auto walas’,'taxi walas' trying to make a living, working 18 hours a day and 7 days a week... a family of four on a two wheeler trying to squeeze in a mall shopping experience on one of the foggiest and coldest of Delhi nights...yes, I mention this at the cost of sounding like a ‘phirang’ tourist...It’s just that Guwahati is a much smaller city compared to Delhi, has a more laid back life and is not a commercial hub or melting pot like Delhi is and hence, I guess, the economic changes and progress India has made in the last few years, though evident in Guwahati as well, they haven't really led to as wide socio economic gaps in my hometown as in the capital of India...but that's that...plus, of course there's the matter of where I observed issues from...I guess after spending a few years outside India and given the rate of economic changes in the country in the past few years, any form of socio economic gap just seems starker, darker and just a whole lot more unfair...

So what did we do in Delhi...yes, got our visas stamped at the American consulate, right next to the Canadian consulate outside which all that was visible was a sea of people and their colorful turbans:-)...shopping in Janpath (finally got a hookah ;-)...so everyone’s welcome to the next hookah party at our place...he he ) and Delhi Haat...checked out a couple of live music hangouts in Connaught Place and Gurgaon...they absolutely rocked...checked out some restaurants /lounges recommeded by Delhiite friends...“ Bukhaara”, “Punjabi by Nature” and ”Smoke House grill” to name a few...and yes, needless to say, hogged on Delhi street food, which was just as delicious, if not more:-)...

All in all, it was a whirlwind India trip that was a whole lot of fun...it always is when you visit India for just a few weeks...but then when I think about it more , putting aside the surreal nature of a short vacation and of getting into the habit of splurging in rupees while earning in dollars, I am not sure yet what it would be like to get into the regular Indian bandwagon of working and living there...will know for sure when we move back some day...but as of now, day-to-day life for the common man, in general, seems tough...definitely tougher than what is for us here...having said that though, a lot of the people I met and spoke to seem completely content and happy with the lives they are leading...and therefore my perspective is perhaps skewed by my personal definition of a ‘tough day-to-day life’...hence I’ll just refrain from commenting on this further...let’s just say this, after three weeks of vacation, while I was engulfed with sadness and choked in tears , at the thought of yet again leaving behind loved ones and my childhood home in Assam, subconsciously perhaps I was ready to be back to the grind...to office work, cooking, cleaning, driving, doing the grocery, fighting with D about household chores, paying the mortgage :-) and generally getting back to real life...yes, before it was too late...before getting spoilt beyond redemption in India and being forced to unequivocably judge where life is better :-)

So yes I am back to the grind...I just got back from 'home' to 'home', if that makes any sense at all...from Assam to Northern Virginia...paradoxical yet true...have at least one other blogger friend who seems to feel the same ;-)

On our way to the airport to catch my return flight to the US, ma sighted an elephant bang in the middle of the streets of Guwahati, and she told me that it’s her belief that sighting an elephant(a personification of Lord Ganesha) anywhere outside the animal’s natural abode is a sign of good luck...and though logic defied it, I involuntarily joined my hands in a namaskar and bowed my head down in respect of Lord Ganesha as I looked back at the elephant and prayed for love, luck, health and happiness for all my dear ones, in the year to come...yes you guessed right, it is my 'inherent Indian spiritual sentiment and superstitious instinct', that I mentioned earlier in the post, that makes me defy logic , time and again, many a time...

Am sure in all of this, my confusion is apparent...it's meant to be :-) !!

Happy New Year folks!! Will share some pics of the trip soon...

Home beckons...

2009-12-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

My brother, who lives and works in Bangalore, is currently visiting my parents in Guwahati...

Yesterday papa posted some pictures of my brother's visit home ...today, this is what my brother writes from Guwahati...

"Yesterday, I lived another day as a 17 year old. Took the city bus to Guwahati club hanging by the door (unlike before paid the full fare)...took a rickshaw back home (without threatening the rickshaw driver or haggling with him)...Had a couple of plates of momo (offered my friends without spitting on any)...bought a packet of Wills Filter from the shop downstairs (paid him a few extra bucks for all the cigarettes he gave me on credit)...met an old friend and went for a drive(did not play tennis, but made plans to)...smoked the day's last cigarette in the toilet(did not bother to spray the room freshner)...finally spent a few hours sitting in my balcony,before going to bed (the way I used to)...I love this place. After all these years, I realize I am more or less the same...and I am really glad about it"...

Well as I looked at the pictures and read this, I wanted to tease my brother about smokes and cigarettes constituting a major part of his nostalgia, I wanted to tease him about having put his 'cool dude' status in extreme jeopardy by becoming so philosophical,I wanted to nudge him and remind him that the balcony he mentions as his own ,was mine for a much longer period of time before it was passed on to him
(so it actually is still mine:-))...whatever!!! )...and then I felt a tug in my heart...oh boyy...it sure has been an interesting life journey for everyone in our family, with a lot of things that have changed and a lot that haven't...and amidst all the stress of planning a trip to India (specially for people like us, who have to get 'n' number of things done in a short period of a couple of weeks of vacation, including the oh so stressful visa stamping stuff etc.)...all of a sudden I wish the holidays were closer...yes home beckons...and I wish D and I were there right now...with family...

Hopefully I will have a lot of interesting stories and perspectives to share when I get back to blogging again...

Till then, I wish you all a very safe and happy holiday season with friends, family and all your loved ones!!

Happy holidays folks !!

YAYYY...the days are shorter!!

2009-11-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

One would think that with fall coming to an end, the days getting shorter and the trees shedding those beautiful, colored leaves, that adorned them, just a week back, I would be depressed...really, really depressed...

Well generally the passing of fall does cause a sense of gloom to set in...but this year is different... you may ask why...well, I have spent the major part of spring, summer and fall, living the life of a golf widow :-(...

Not that I mind giving D the space to pursue his hobbies...after all, I do wholeheartedly cherish my personal space when dabbling in hobbies and indulging in activities which allow me to form perspectives on issues , completely independent of D...so if that's the case...why am I really cribbing...ok, let me just put it this way, in the context of hobbies, dabbling in one and allowing one to dictate one's life are at two opposite ends of the spectrum...D's love for playing tennis has never gotten me so frustrated in all these years...may be that's because I personally love and enjoy that game as much as he does...and most importantly, I usually get to hit around a bit with him whenever he's in the mood to play with a beginner like me...ok, so does that show a tinge of contradiction of the earlier point I made about 'loving the space to indulge in activities that allow me to form a perspective on issues, completely independent of D'...I seem to be okay with D's hobbies where I have a part to play or contribute...I really am turning into a confused mess on this...don't want to introspect too much...this is not an introspective blogpost...it's more of a ranting blogpost...where I am just giving vent to pent up frustration:-) ...So here I go again..

D was posssessed by and obsessed with this game we all call 'GOLF' this entire summer and fall...weekdays, weekends...it just didn't matter which day of the week it was...we would go shopping and all that he would be in the look out for were golf accessories...how frustrating is that!!... in fact, once we cut short a weekend getaway so that he could come back and play an 18 hole game on a par 4 (or was it 3...who the hell cares anyways...the game is just so boring!!) course !!! He even tried persuading me to join him at the driving range and course a couple of times with of course, absolutely no success...better luck with that next year, honey!!

Hey...wait...don't yet point that accusing finger at me for being the quintessential unsupportive wife... I haven't really explicitly nagged him about golf till this post on the blog:-) ( I really have been trying my best to live upto the image of the 'space loving and space giving' wife I hero worship;-))...all that I have been doing is making weird faces and giving blank stares whenever he mentions anything associated with the game...after all, I did get him a golf themed cake and showered him with golf gifts on his birthday...and believe it or not his friends ended up gifting him stuff related to golf as well...so now you know, it's not just me...that definitely makes me feel a whole lot better...it's just that D and GOLF have become synonymous over this summer...and really, if you ask me, a golf themed birthday party, is the most I can do to show my support for the tee, the club, the par, the hole, Tiger Woods, Augusta and D's love for all things golf :-)

These hilarious cartoons at www.cartoonstock.com just about sum up the 'golf widowed life' I've led for the major part of this summer and fall...

Now you know why I am so happy, cheering the onset of winter...cold, short days but definitely(or should I say hopefully...in case covered driving ranges/courses are discovered in the next few weeks) more of D ;-)

Of Change and Continuance ...

2009-09-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Well I am turning another year older at the stroke of midnight...another year wiser?...well maybe, maybe not...can't vouch for the wiser part of it ...going over one of the first big hills, as they say...does growing another year older make that big a difference...well not really, I tell myself, I don't feel any different than what I was in my early twenties...age is just a number in the mind , isn’t it?...hmmm...well I don't think I am being completely honest here, am I :-)!

After all, I do realize that my biological clock is ticking...I keep getting feelers about that from my mom and mom-in-law every time I call home…they don’t lose a chance to enforce and reinforce on me the fact that it’s about time D and I started thinking about life beyond just the two of us…

After all, when hubby dear asked me about what I wanted to do on my birthday weekend and gave me two options...a drunken weekend away at a party destination or something more quiet at a serene destination, I did opt for the latter...I am laughing out loud, imagining a very dear friend of mine, P, pull my leg about this by saying something to the effect of ”Tu buddhi ho gayin hain" on having opted for the latter... LOL :-)

Anyways, that's that...but this post is not just really about me growing another year older or another year wiser...it's me reminiscing about the past three decades of my life...it's about how a lot of things have changed and a lot haven’t, as I have evolved as a person over the years...

It all started with a rather carefree life, growing up in the beautiful hills of Shillong, Meghalaya...friends, family, birthday parties, indo chinese dinners, long drives, chocolates, teddy bears, mickey mouse club, school concerts,great times essentially...Papa loves cars and driving and I remember in those days, if he got back late from work, to make it up to us, he would bring back loads of chocolates and would just keep honking the horn of the car on the driveway till we got out of the home...and off we would go, all four of us, for a long drive across the beautiful town and hills of Shillong, and that would invariably end in one of the most delicious Indo Chinese dinner places in the world, "ABBA"...lovely summer vacations at my paternal grandparents in Guwahati...memorable winter vacations in Jorhat with my maternal grandparents...family vacations to other parts of India...now , you would say it was vacation time for the major part of the year then...well sort of...you know how life in a hill station in the 80s was...relaxed, carefree and pristine, among affectionate, friendly and warm locals, without the added burdens of "touristyness" and “commercialization” we associate with most Indian hill stations these days...an almost fairy tale like existence...

Imagine a beautiful house on a hilltop surrounded by pine trees...a gentle chill and breeze in the air...a family of four replete with a white Alsatian, running around the grounds of the home...family time, with adorable parents and a bratty little brother, by the warm fireplace in the living room...friends and neighbors moving in and out of each others homes, all well fed with delicious home made food, happy and contented in each others’ company, completely oblivious to the vicissitudes of life...that was what life was all about in the my first ten years into this world…

Since then I’ve seen a lot of ups and downs in my own life and in the lives of near and dear ones...I have evolved from wanting to become an air hostess (inspired by none other than the Kittu Gidwani starrer by the same name that used to be aired on Doordarshan on Sunday nights)...to a cop...to an air force pilot...to an astronaut...to a doctor (the romanticized version of Erich Segal, of course )...to a teacher...to a genetic engineer( fancy huh...this was at a time when I hardly knew what genes were :-))...to a physicist...and finally ended up as the stereotypical ‘electrical and computer engineer’...it’s a different matter all together that D, the industrial engineer in the family,is a zillion times better at all the theoretical and practical electrical and technological troubleshooting than I am...Oh well...you know what, I feign ignorance(that’s a good excuse for outright incompetence, aint’t it :-))!! On a slightly different note, once an uncle of mine was advising D that he should feign ignorance and prove his incompetence in all household chores early on in the marriage...apparently once that’s done, it would make sure that the wifey (yes, I) would forever relieve D from the travails that the tedious household tasks entail...LOL...well am I glad that I overheard that conversation, otherwise D would have gleefully succeeded using that tactic on me his entire life!!

Coming back to the point, over the years I have sobered down from being a rebellious feminist to a realist...I have evolved from the feisty teenager, who thought she could take on a system single handedly and bring about much needed changes, overnight, to someone who has matured enough to realize that small , individual changes in a system, over time, eventually lead on to bigger, better ones...I have evolved from an ambitious teenager, with big dreams, to someone who has realized that there are sweeter pleasures in life than the next big career move...I have evolved from tending to be judgmental to learning to give people the benefit of the doubt..I have evolved from reading fairy tales to Enid Blyton to Carolyn Keene to Dickens to Austen and the Bronte sisters to Agatha Christie and Robin Cook to Arthur Hailey and Jeffrey Archer to P.G. Wodehouse to Aynd Rand to Sophie Kinsella to Jhumpa Lahiri and Salman Rushdie to Nasim Taleb...you get the gist...not to forget the Mills and Boon and Linda Goodman stage ;-)...and then, something I am really proud of, I have evolved from a really bad cook to a reasonably decent one...well, the list is endless and I can just go on and on about how my tastes and I have changed over the years...

But then the point is that over the past three decades, while I have evolved and grown in a lot of ways, while I have loved and hated, laughed and cried, risen and fallen, given and taken...there are certain things that haven’t really changed all that much, after all...and in that list is my love for books, music, chocolates, teddy bears, dogs, mountains, bollywood flicks (Ah...how I love being a part of the crowds for the first day, first shows :-)!! ), street food, shopping, writing and physics...my appreciation, love and admiration for humility, intelligence, open mindedness, genuineness, affection, warmth and generosity...my dislike for arrogance and hypocrisy...but I think the most important in the list of things that hasn’t changed much over the years is my ‘optimism’...my belief in fairy tales...my belief that what goes around comes around...my faith that every cloud does have a silver lining...

The other day, a friend of mine wrote to me saying something to the effect of, “You are such an optimist...it’s refreshing to see your take on life in this otherwise cynical world”...believe me, it is a compliment I shall forever hold very close to my heart...for optimism and hope keeps me sane, happy and relaxed...enables me to seek out and enjoy the simple pleasures of life...Yes, I know life will bring in changes, both good and bad, in the years to come...I will evolve for the better or ,god forbid, change for the worse in the midst of life’s vicissitudes...but I do sincerely hope I manage to remain an eternal optimist, in the midst of it all...we will see how that goes...only time will tell :-)

For now though, yes, I am yet another year older :-), hopefully another year wiser as well...and it’s Happy Birthday to me...with a fresh new year of life to right some wrongs...to love,laugh and live!

I have shared a love hate relationship with...

2009-08-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

the Art of Cooking :-)

I LOVE food and hubby dear is an even bigger foodie than I am. But over the years, though my relationship with food has been a constant...that of pure love (and my genes make sure that the love for food shows on me in the form of extra girth and a yo yoing weight:-)), my tryst with cooking has been rather fascinating and has seen it’s fair share of ups and downs…

As a 14 year old, the spoilt brat that I was, while a lot of my peers were beginning to nurture their cooking talents, I don’t think I was even aware of where in the kitchen, the spice rack was located (Yes…I was that obnoxious !!). That was a stage in life when I was mighty happy being fed on delicious food made by mom, my adorable grand moms, aunts and all the brilliant cooks we had as household helpers…and yes, every once in a while, on a Sunday afternoon, dad would take over the kitchen to make that delicious Spanish omelette that only he could make, albeit leaving the kitchen in the state of a ‘hurricane aftermath’…

As a 17 year old, let’s just say this, while some of my peers were busy trying to woo their way into the hearts of prospective boyfriends, by cooking and feeding them home made meals, the seeds of feminism, already sown in my mind, made me glare disdainfully at anyone who dared to say anything that had the slightest hint of endorsing “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” paradigm …I was determined to find a guy who would love me the way I am and would be prepared to live eating canned food, for the rest of his life, if the need arose …can you believe that !!

During my undergrad years, I was happy falling in love with D, the ultimate personification of a foodie on earth :-)... but let’s just say this, cooking was the last thing on my mind during those four years…At the slightest opportunity, D and I would make our way to whatever few good restaurants we had in Trichy,and revel in the great food that they served (trust me, all food tasted great after what we had to deal with in the hostel dining halls)…

As far as my tryst with cooking, during the couple of years I was working in Bangalore, is concerned, my dear brother sums it up pretty well...he says that the 'daal', 'egg curry', 'paneer' ,essentially everything I cooked, ‘tasted the same’…and when he says ‘tasted the same’ with that smirk on his face, it means you are supposed to read ‘tasted the same’ as ‘tasted terrible’…

But then something changed...after moving in with D in the US, I realized that the person I had fallen in love with, was not just a big foodie but was a great cook as well…I reveled in the delicious food that he cooked while he barely managed to tolerate the tasteless food that I made…but the sweetheart that he is, he did that with a smile on his face …and then one fine day, he ‘officially’ asked me to marry him. Given the kind of food I was cooking and feeding him (specially given the fact that he was a foodie, a great cook himself and the very typical perfectionist Virgo), I was absolutely convinced that I had found the guy in D , who loved me for what I was and was prepared to live eating canned food, for the rest of his life, if the need arose:-)

Over the past 4-5 years, I take the liberty of patting myself on the back for evolving into a rather decent cook (my ever critical brother and perfectionist Virgo husband vouch for that,having been at the receiving end of my cooking over the years ;-))…I have developed a love for cooking dishes of different cuisines….I love to improvise on dishes, blending exotic regional spices and herbs…I have discovered and developed that skill of being able to bring out the taste of key ingredients in a dish...so now, all the dishes that I cook definitely don’t “taste the same” anymore….however I would still not claim to be extremely passionate about cooking…I do love cooking at leisure, as a hobby, and I definitely love entertaining people with home cooked food…but my dislike for cooking, on weekdays after a hard days' work, persists, and I crib about it every time it’s my turn to cook (D and I take alternate turns cooking on weekdays)…

But there is one day in the year when I cook with my heart and soul and hope to be able to do so for the rest of of my life…and that’s on my foodie hubby’s birthday….yes, yes D’s birthday…how I love that contented look and smile on his face when he’s fed a well cooked meal…I cook a variety of his favorite dishes on his birthday, just the way he loves them…

Well let’s just say this, though I didn’t woo my way into D’s heart through his stomach, his birthday dinner with friends is my way of saying thank you to my foodie hubby for loving me for what I am ,as much as he does, and for having been prepared to live off canned food, for the rest of his life , if the need arose…

Happy Birthday D !

Lost and Found...

2009-08-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

A few months back I received an envelope, addressed to me, by snail mail...it took me about half a second to determine who it was from…it was from a dear cousin, R, who lives in London. In addition to regularly keeping in touch with her via email and phone calls, I always look forward to receiving these letters/cards (she has this way of finding these unflashy, beautiful, elegant cards, hand-painted on recycled paper for a social cause) from her with D and my names clearly etched on top of the envelope in her beautiful, cursive handwriting...

As far back as I can remember, she has never forgotten to send handwritten messages/cards on all special occasions, and postcards from places they are visiting, sharing an unknown trivia about a new place they have been exploring ... and I, for one, really look forward to receiving these...

This time around, when I opened the envelope, what I found was a note from her announcing the arrival of "The New Sheriff in Town", her second son, along with photo prints of family pictures with her two adorable kids, husband and my aunt ( her mom)....Of course, I had spoken to her 'n' number of times after the little one's birth and she had already shared these photographs with me on snapfish...but that handwritten message and the photograph prints, for some weird reason, evoked a medley of emotions...I can't explain the cause or the source of what I felt...but it evoked an urge to give her a big, warm hug...

In this perennial mad rush and rat race for the next big change in life, technology, career, advancement...as we've transitioned from reading printed books to listening to audio books…from writing letters to emails to texting to sharing what's happening in our lives through status messages on social networking sites…from bonding with pen pals through letters written in our own handwriting to being instantly gratified by new online pals with information about various cultures, through shared online photographs and messages ...from writing diaries to writing blogs...I think I know what we've found, but there is definitely something precious we've lost as well...

In audio books, I have found a good substitute to satiate my reading needs given the mad rush I am always in during the work week, while trying to deal with a long commute to work combined with the need to strike a good balance between office workload, household chores and spending quality time with D….what I’ve realized I miss, however, is the touch and feel of printed words on paper…the charm of lying down on the couch, having a cup of tea or coffee, sitting and becoming captured by the pages of a book, turning them one by one, getting more and more engrossed as the climax builds …I miss not being able to emphasize , interpret and visualize words and phrases like I would want to, and having instead to rely on the readers' discretionary emphasis on words and phrases, which I feel has a direct impact on the interpretation and visualization of sentences in a book.

In all the latest technological gadgets and electronic paraphernalia (email, texting, chatting, VOIP), that facilitate instant communication with near and dear ones, I have found solace in the knowledge that despite being physically thousands of miles away, loved ones are virtually just a click away…what I miss, however, is communication through the art of calligraphy, handwriting as an artform, which by itself has the ability to add a lot of meaning and expression to mere words…

In all the online social networking sites and blogs, I have found ways to reconnect with old pals and discover new ones….I have found ways to enrich my life with shared online travelogues, life experiences and photographs of old friends and new…I have found ways that make me revel in not having to memorize and remember the birthdays and special occasions of ‘n’ close friends, happy in the knowledge that early in the morning of the special day, I will be duly prompted by pop ups in one of the social networking sites to wish the person concerned…what I miss , however, is that postcard that someone close would send to share tid bits of travel experiences…what I miss is being one of the first ones to know about a birth in the family , about a snippet of good news in a friends life, before it is broadcasted to the whole world as a facebook status message ;-)….what I miss is that feeling of being special that comes with the knowledge that someone close was not prompted but remembered an occasion close to your heart, and put an extra effort to make you feel really special by posting a card that would reach you just in time for ‘the day’ celebrations…

Yes, yes folks…everything, in the above context, that I miss and feel I have lost, is extremely non “go green” friendly…but I miss these simple pleasures of life, nevertheless…and the funny thing is that I say all this, while I am fascinated by and revel in the kind of easy connectivity, planning ability, portable entertainment, fun, efficiency that gadgets like the iphone, blackberry etc. facilitate…hmmm…hypocrite you may say :-)…but not really I guess, it’s just that in the circle of life, whether you like it or not, you lose something to find something else…

Thank you for the music...

2009-07-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weekends have been literally 'musical weekends' for us...

Last week I had written about the 'Billy Joel-Elton John' face to face concert that D and I attended and so thoroughly enjoyed.

This weekend was different but just as musical and beautiful ...it was a more informal,laid back musical evening at a lovely dinner party hosted by a very dear friend(in blogospshere and outside), RJ, ...in fact as I have grown to know her more,I wish I had a sister like her ;-).

RJ had friends and family visiting her, all musical greats and genius' in their own right, who treated us to a medley of beautiful melodies...like she mentions in her post, the party included two well known artists, 'M' and 'L', and another talented musician,'S', while the rest of us, novices, chipped in by singing along whenever those ever eluding lyrics of songs we thought we knew so well , finally came back to us, in bursts...

'M' sang some of his own eloquent and melodious compositions, in addition to other well known songs.'L', in her beautiful, effervescent voice, treated us to some lovely Assamese and Bengali songs that I had not heard in a long, long time, yet I seemed to relate to immediately. Music comes so naturally and effortlessly to both of them...it's just amazing ! I was mentioning to RJ the other day that having spent more than half our lives outside the north eastern part of India, there are times when D and I feel a sense of disconnection from our beloved land of birth. M and L's simple, melodious voices and music has kind of bridged that disconnect, that has this tendency to creep in ever so often, at least for the time being...

'S', on the other hand very deftly, strummed some all time Western favorites on his guitar, while RJ sang along in her husky, sexy voice :-)...'Starry Starry night','Boxer','Baby can I hold you tonight','Dust in the wind' and many more...aah filled D and me with nostalgia...believe me in the era of Britney Spears, Beyonce and Jonas Brothers, you don't find too many people appreciating those evergreen melodies anymore...and it was wonderful to be in likeminded company ,buzzed and tipsy with just the right amount of alcohol, enjoying this lovely, musical evening...

There was another thing different about this particular 'musical' evening...the only accompanying instruments were two acoustic guitars...and I am sure a lot of music lovers will agree with me that there is a different kind of charm associated with music that's created with just the simple strumming of a guitar and beautiful voices to render the vocals...with absolutely no exotic, electronic paraphernelia to enhance the experience !!

So that was a lovely evening for us...good food, great drinks and of course amazing, beautiful music that encompassed us with a sense of serenity and bliss...how can 'paradise on earth' be ever lost when there are people around to create magic with instruments and melodies!!

Lovely party and good times ! Thank you for the music, folks !

The Piano Men...

2009-07-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

"It's nine o clock on a saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin love to his tonic and gin"

....these are the starting lyrics from Billy Joel's chartbuster " The Piano Man" and one of the many melodies to which D and I sang along as we spent Saturday evening watching two of the greatest "piano men" of all times, live in concert...Billy Joel and Elton John, face to face...

After watching 'Bruno' on Friday night, anything else we did on Saturday would have been more than a refreshing change. Speaking of 'Bruno', I never have and never will be a fan of the Baron Cohen kind of humor (at least it seems unlikely in this lifetime!!)...I read somewhere that the movie has invariably got just one of two kind of reviews...while some viewers have deemed it 'extremely hilarious'...others have deemed it 'immensely disgusting'...and without doubt, I definitely belong to the latter category of movie goers !!

It was all good that we had already booked tickets for the live concert on Saturday where the rock and roll legends were performing some of their greatest hits...love for all forms of music is something that D and I passionately share and both of us were really looking forward to it. We had watched 'The Eagles' last year when they were performing in DC as part of their "Long Road Out of Eden" tour and since then, we have nurtured this secret hope and dream of being able to watch at least one musical legend ,live in concert, every summer...this time around ,it turned out to be a double treat with the two "piano men" in a face to face concert :-)

Instead of driving into south east DC, we decided to take the metro to the Washington Nationals Stadium, the venue of the concert.As we got off the orange line at L'Enfant PLaza , it was almost as if we were swept by a tide of people to the platform from where the Green Line was supposed to take us to the venue of the musical event...people of all ages were lined up to get into the metro to see the piano men in action...among them, was this grey templed , cheerful man standing beside me...he scanned the crowds, smiled at me and said, "I am surprised to see so many youngsters like you around...for some reason, was just expecting middle aged people like me to be interested in this kind of music...never realized the rock and roll music of the 70s and 80s still sells among youngsters"...I couldn't think of anything more apt to say in response to this other than "That's what makes Billy Joel and Elton John legends, I guess" ...just then the train arrived and there was this huge round of applause and cheer from the crowd... the celebrations had already begun with the crowd all geared to sing along and dance to the beats of the musical greats...

And boy, the legends didn't let us down as they treated us with a taste of their evergreen hits...Billy Joel's 'River of Dreams','Moving Out','Stranger','Uptown Girl','Only the good die young','My Life','Zanzibar','She's always a woman' and Elton John's 'Rocket Man', 'Daniel','Candle in the Wind','Don't let the sun go down on me' being a few of the plethora of melodies that were performed....At the end, the two great artists traded vocals for each others compositions...and they finally concluded the show performing the surreal vocal-piano-harmonica combo...'The Piano Man'...

As I watched the fingers of the musical genius',oh so deftly, move over the pianos and create magical music , I realized that it was about time I got down to some serious business, as far as my guitar/piano learning aspirations are concerned, instead of just dreaming and building castles in the air about being able to someday strum my favorite tunes on the guitar and create melodious music on the piano...oh well, yes, they are big dreams, big dreams...no harm done though in dreaming big, I guess...after all that's what keeps the zest in life alive,doesn't it!!However my "learn it yourself" strategy having miserably flopped last summer, I better go and seek the help of dependable friends, 'google' and 'craigslist', to assist me in my search for a good music teacher if I want at least some part of the dream to turn into a semblance of reality...

Till then, I will have to just make do by thanking and admiring everyone who makes great music...

Rooting for the underdog...

2009-07-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

For all those who know me well, I am not a sports maniac, quite unlike D...I do like watching tennis, cricket and a bit of college basketball…however my interest in these games too is limited to the more exciting part of major tournaments aka quaterfinals, semi finals, finals etc. As to with whom my loyalties lie in the games that I do watch, understand and enjoy...oh yeah, it's always with the quintessential underdog, provided , of course, he /she puts in the fight of a lifetime in an effort to grab victory from the clutch of the one deemed favorite. As to all the other games that I am compelled to watch just to give D company, I inevitably end up rooting for the team D doesn’t support (just to add some excitement to the whole game watching process) or more often than not, the team with the better looking dudes :-)

There is one exception to this support for the underdog however, and that is when India as a team or an Indian player is in the game. But more often than not, they end up playing as the underdogs and even if they do happen to be the favorites in a tournament, it's rare to see them keep up the momentum and the winning streak to reach a position where they are actually defending a title...sad but true, for whatever reasons...so, for the major part, I am saved the ordeal of feeling guilty and unpatriotic for subconsciously empathizing with a non-Indian underdog playing against an Indian favorite:-)

I very vividly remember the 1992 Wimbledon final...the thrilling five setter between Goran Ivanesevic and Andre Agassi...I was sitting at the edge of my seat in our family room in Guwahati and cheering Ivanesvic all the way till the end when Agassi hit the winning championship point...17 years since then, that aspect of me hasn't changed much...yesterday as I was watching the Roddick- Federer Wimbledon final, I was sitting at the edge of my seat hoping that Roddick would hit the winning point...I love Federer (other than his habit of weeping at the drop of a hat ) for the brand of power precision tennis he plays, but I desparately wanted Roddick to win for the long, brave fight he was putting in...

A lot of my friends echo my thoughts of involuntarily supporting the one deemed less likely to win a game ...there are, of course, quite a few others who do not resonate our thoughts and believe that a champ is a champ because he deserves to be at the top and that in sports, there is absolutely no room for empathy…skill, talent, power and killer instinct are all that matter…after all it’s records and names of winners on the mantle that are passed on as legacy from one generation to another…I hear them and all that they say makes enormous sense to me…but I still root for the underdog :-)

I wonder what is it that's so appealing about an underdog to those of us who inevitably support them!! Perhaps an underdog, putting in a brave fight against all odds, personifies the tenacity and resilience of the human spirit...perhaps we see a bit of ourselves and our imperfections in him or her... perhaps because at some point in our lives, we have all felt small and powerless and yet have wished and worked hard to change our destiny…perhaps because we believe and want to continue believing in fairy tales.. perhaps there is some message of hope in each of the stories of underdogs, rising from the ashes like the phoenix, urging us to follow our dreams, hold on to hope and overcome our personal mountains...

The Man in the mirror...

2009-06-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

The 'Man in the mirror' has faded away...

He was a prodigy and a child singing sensation at the age of 5, a teen icon at the age of 18, a superstar at the age of 25...a singer, dancer, composer, lyricist, entertainer...he rose to the helm of superstardom in a jiffy and fell from the pedestal just as fast...he was wealthy but lived beyond his means...early on in his career, he was deemed a shrewd investor...in the last decade of his life, all his investments were deemed foolish...he was a philanthropist...he was an apparent victim of child abuse and extreme parental pressure that drove him to the limit...he never lived the childhood every human being deserves...he was a man who never seemed happy with the way he looked...he was a perfectionist...he was weird...he was complex...he was once a handsome, vivacious trendsetting youngster ...at a later stage in life, he had almost transformed to an alien...he was accused of the inexcusable crime of child molestation...and his death now is shrouded in a possible case of prescription drug abuse... understood by very few, he seemed like a very lonely soul...a man many found difficult to love,but even more difficult to hate...

Yes that's Michael Jackson ...the good and the bad...the black and the white ...the known and the unknown...and of course the very visible shades of grey...and today, "The King of Pop" is dead at an age when very few of us, lesser mortals, can claim to have achieved what he achieved in just the first 25 years of his life...

Over the past one and a half days, news channels have flashed snippets and stories about MJ's life and death ...the internet has been clogged by fanatical fans trying to make sense of his life and his sudden passing away...

In the midst of this frenzy , as I follow the various news clips and my feet involuntarily tap to the trendsetting beats of " Billy Jean" and " Beat It", a question crosses my mind...all of us , humans beings, have shades of grey in our personalities, don't we? I am sure there are instances in every persons' life, when he /she looks at the mirror , literally and figuratively, and doesn't like what he/she sees...But what is it that pushes some people to the brink of insanity, darkening the shades of grey that's inherent in human nature, almost pushing them into a bottomless pit ?

It's one of those questions, I guess, to which there can never be an unequivocal answer...

With that question lingering in my mind, as an era comes to an end with the death of Michael Jackson, I realize it's about time we gave him the benefit of the doubt...I mourne the passing away of a legend, accepting those shades of grey in his life, instead of trying to judge and classify those shades as black or white ...I seek solace in and celebrate the beautiful music that only he was capable of creating...

After all not every human being is fortunate enough to learn and understand, early on in life, that with great power,talent,wealth and success comes great responsibility...I guess MJ was not one of the fortunate ones...

But then, of course, neither is every human being capable of achieving what the 'King of Pop' achieved in his short life span...

While his legacy lives on in the form of his amazing musical creations, may his soul rest in peace !

Food for thought...

2009-05-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

So Sunday, May 10th was Mother’s day…and my friends with kids, who had rushed to the mall to pick up last minute gifts for their wives, were of the unanimous opinion that the malls were packed to the hilt with male folk and kids on Saturday evening and Sunday morning so that preparations, for the mothers to be pampered, could be completed in good time :-) …

I hadn’t realized until that point of time, that over the years, Mother’s Day celebrations have gone on to assume such importance in the lives of families…it was cheering to see the children ,aptly prompted by their dads, do small things for their mothers in their own special ways as a token of their appreciation and love…

Noticing all these celebrations around me, my thoughts transitorily dwelled on Ms. ‘S’, a lady I have met just once and perhaps will never meet again…and just for a moment, I was overcome with this overwhelming sense of helplessness.

About a month back, I volunteered at this organization called One Brick for an event “Bowling with KEEN”. Kids Enjoy Exercise Now (KEEN) is a nonprofit, volunteer organization and in association with One Brick holds these bowling events every month for children and young adults having disabilities such as autism, cerebral palsy, down syndrome, various intellectual and developmental disabilities. So the event I signed up for was a KEEN bowling event where a participating athlete, with special needs, is paired with a volunteer coach for an afternoon of bowling.

I had been thinking of getting involved in some such volunteering activities involving children /education etc for quite some time …but it took a final push from a friend, Rush,who took the initiative to sign up for the event, to actually make me get out of bed relatively early on a Sunday morning (by early, I mean 10:00 a.m., the lazy bum that I am :-) ) and get to 'Strike Bethesda' to bowl with those wonderful youngsters. And am I glad that I managed to overcome my laziness and get to the bowling session that Sunday afternoon(despite having this last minute urge to go back on the commitment I had already made…believe me, my brain was baiting me with a lot of excuses…incomplete household chores …hectic long week at work coming up etc.etc. :-))!!

To say the least, the event was a sobering experience and filled me with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the good things that I have been blessed with in life…

As a volunteer coach, I was paired with ‘P’, a 20 year old adolescent in the body of a 10 year old child…a wheel chair bound youngster …a fragile shriveled being… who was almost oblivious to the world around him and not responsive to anything other than the occasional gentle touch of his mother…Ms.‘S’,the lady I mentioned before…a beautiful, dignified, single mom, whose world seemed to revolve around her son…

And on Mother’s day,as I rejoiced in the celebratory mood of my friends,I momentarily thought of Ms. S …

I wonder what she did…probably she had family around her to pamper her…I am sure ‘P’ must have made her feel special in his own little way…maybe…probably…perhaps…I really don’t know…all that I know is that it left me with a very sad feeling…

I personally love being pampered and appreciated by friends and family for big things and small on special and not so special days…I would be a hypocrite to claim that I don’t…

Nevertheless it made me feel that maybe...just maybe while all of us fortunate, privileged ones go on with our lives and have these ever growing list of special global days (Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day etc), to celebrate our relationships with the special people in our lives and also to endorse and rejoice in a sense of camaraderie with other people, who are fortunate enough to be on the same boat as us, we perhaps unknowingly exacerbate the void, pain and loneliness in the lives of those not as fortunate…

Perhaps, just perhaps…we have got into the habit of eternally looking for reasons to create hoopla and fuss about just ordinary days…

Cavetoons...

2009-05-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

With summer just round the corner (at least historically...who knows this year we may just end up experiencing white, snowy months of June,July,August if the unpredictable weather pattern is anything to go by :-)), I have been doing some research on the theatre and standup comedy scene in the Washington DC metro area...

There are quite a few interesting shows and plays lined up for this summer...more about them in another post...I just want to post some cavetoons in this space for now...brought a huge grin to my face as I browsed through them again yesterday...

And as to what are 'cavetoons'...so we went for this show "Defending the Caveman" last summer ...essentially a stand up comedy, endorsing and accentuating the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" philosophy. It was a hilarious show that left both D and me as well as the friends who accompanied us with that quintessential "feel good" feeling that arises from the realization that we are not alone, as far as having to deal with some of the apparently "atypical" idiosyncracies of our partners, is concerned ...

So here are some cavetoons(courtesy www.defendingthecaveman.com)...hope it will bring a smile to anyone who drops by the blog...

Mahalo Maui !

2009-04-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

Aloha...

We just got back from a beautiful, relaxing and refreshing Hawaiian vacation last week...

Needless to say, it was pretty difficult bringing ourselves back to work and to the world of mundane daily chores after spending five days in what seemed like paradise…

We were visiting Maui, the lovely Hawaiian island bang in the middle of the Pacific and eons away from the mainland…the land of beautiful sunsets...swaying palm trees...acres of sugarcane fields...miles of gorgeous white, black and red sand beaches...land of kula coffee and mai tais...the Haleakala volcano...hula dancing...laulau...poi...luaus...leis...beautiful beed and shell jewellery...amazing hand carved wood trinkets...adorable Polynesian people and culture...

It was an unplanned trip and was hence all the more exciting...the beach bums that D and I are, a major portion of our five day vacation on this gorgeous island was spent beach hopping, sun bathing and engaging in a variety of water sport activities. We drove up the Haleakala volcano and hiked a couple of miles down...walked above the clouds at the crater summit...drove along the unpredictable pacific coastline forming the island ... explored part of the sometimes rocky ,sometimes serene pacific landscape/terrain on car as well on foot...and of course sipped more than our fair share of 'mai tais' as we watched the sun go down everyday ...

It was a different kind of sunset each of those five days...the sun would go down, filling the sky in a splatter of soothing and daunting colors(I know for sure now that it's definitely possible for an experience to be soothing and daunting at the same time:-)).

I am an ardent nature lover...but that aside, my fascination and love for sunsets is augmented by the fact that I spend most of my pre and post twilight hours negotiating the notorious Washington DC traffic, thus rarely getting a chance to just sit down and watch the sun go down :-)...what else...we got a birds eye view of a clothing optional beach...and of course not to forget hogged on local Hawaiian food and drinks...

Here are a few pics of this piece of paradise on earth...Maui...

Us and Them...

2009-03-19T13:53:00.001-07:00

Well for all of you Pink Floyd fans, this post is not really about their “Us and Them” classic which I so ardently love…this post is literally about “us” and “them”…the social stratifications created among humans by humans through prejudiced beliefs…

When educated, young politicians go on to make such inflammatory statements like Varun Gandhi did in Pilibhit (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/EC-files-criminal-case-against-Varun-Gandhi/articleshow/4275065.cms), it is depressing to realize that what all of us have been clamoring for so far i.e. to have educated, progressive thinking youngsters in the Indian parliament , with hopes that they will be able to guide India to become a world power by leveraging the secularity, the democratic ideals of the nation and the intelligence/ perserverance of the common Indian man, is perhaps just a utopian dream…

I have always been proud of coming from a country which nurtures as much diversity in terms of faith, language and culture as India does…a country where at a specific point of time in recent history, the two highest official positions in the country were held by two extremely talented individuals ...a Muslim president and a Sikh prime minister …both being from what are considered minority communities in a nation which is inhabited by the largest Hindu population in the world…

Wherever there is diversity, there is of course bound to be differences of opinion about matters big and small…and it’s all good that there exist different opinions or views about matters…but when these cultural differences take a turn for the worse to become prejudices and premises for judging people and actions, that’s a lethal step towards turning the moderates among common folks into extremists…and to be very frank it doesn’t take a genius or a scholar to realize that…

I personally believe that it’s all good to be proud of a faith by choice …after all each individual derives solace and strength from different sources…choice and belief in a faith is something personal but being prejudiced by a faith and demeaning others who do not concur with one’s beliefs is really not acceptable…

That brings me to another controversial topic about prejudices… “the caste system” in India…of course a lot has been written and discussed about the evils of this system and I need not delve into it further…just the other day, we were having a discussion among friends that transitorily dwelled on the caste system in India…that discussion, though short and of no specific significance, provoked me to go back and rummage my old diaries for tid bits of some of my teenage year conversations with my grandparents and parents about religion, faith and social stratification…

Born into a family which has never encouraged discrimination based on culture, religion or any such other societal divides, for the major part of my life I have been quite oblivious to the burden/superficialities that the belief in the caste system entails. Though no one I know endorses the system in black and white, over the years I have heard a lot of people say that the origin of the system lies in/is endorsed in the Vedas…

I have always been skeptical about this myth though, because my granddad always used to say that the Vedas do not endorse a specific religion or classification of humanity…they talk about a way of life …a culture…

So I did my bit of research and am I glad that my belief about the tolerance of the thoughts articulated in the Vedas and of Hinduism as a culture was proved correct!!!

The Vedas say and I quote, “‘Janma Jaat Shudra Sarve, Karmenu Brahman Bhavati”…this means, by birth all human beings are born inferior and it’s only ones deeds or “karma” that go on to determining how great or superior a human being grows up to be…

I wouldn’t claim to have read the Vedas or the Bhagavad Gita to completion…may be some day I will…but I am sure all scriptures of faith including the Quran, Guru Granth Sahib, the Bible and all others have the same thing to say about human kind….it’s just us lesser mortals, who have a way of reading between the lines in support of some of our prejudices…

I visit temples and love the feeling and the sense of inner strength that permeates me when the chanting of Sanskrit mantras reach a crescendo, I enjoy the serenity and peace that envelopes me when I pray in a Church, I am filled with an unsurpassed feeling of hope as I light candles in a dargah…and I am sure as and when I do visit a gurudwara and other sites of worship, I will be filled with similar thoughts and feelings…

All faiths, at the core, have the same things to say…to nurture respect and tolerance for others, to be humble, to appreciate the dignity of labor, to live and let live…

Life is, after all, far too short and beautiful to burden it with notions of “Us” and “Them”…

Athos, Porthos, Aramis and the spirit of Slumdog Millionaire

2009-02-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

This one's been long due:-)...now with the movie nominated in 10 Oscar categories and tipped to win the best picture by a lot of critics, I do have to pitch in with my two cents as well...he..he..he...specially with all the hoopla surrounding it about whether India, as a country , has been represented "appropriately" in the context of the movie...

We watched Slumdog Millionaire about two months back during the phase of its limited release in the US...

I personally loved the movie...I always do love "feel good" movies...those that make you sit at the edge of your seat at the theatre and cheer the protagonist till he/she achieves what he/she set out to achieve or just dreamt of achieving in the first place...movies that can make you choke with emotion but at the same time make you want to stand up and applaud at the end, for they symbolize and represent hope, love and the resilience of the human spirit...

When I got out of the theatre after watching Slumdog Millionaire, let's say this, I felt cheered and had a smile on my face...it was ,after all, a very well made movie...great cinematography, screenplay, dialogues and not to forget A. R. Rehman's melodious, soul stirring music...a movie that represented the spirit of humanity...frankly speaking, at that point of time, that's really all that I cared about...

Then of course, as the movie gained popularity and moved on to become a full fledged commercial release, there were these plethora of debates and blog posts by anyone even remotely associated with India about whether the country has been "appropriately" represented in the context of the movie. There were statements made by Indian celebrities tagging the movie with as creepy terms as " poverty porn"…all because a relatively mid budget movie, with relatively unknown faces in Hollywood/Bollywood in the cast, directed by a British director, based
on a book by an Indian diplomat, had gone on to capture and hold the attention of global audiences...

I had a lot of arguments with friends who were of the opinion that despite being a good movie, Slumdog Millionaire was misrepresenting India to the global audiences...after all India is not all about poverty and slums etc. etc...I differed from them as far as the point of view of “misrepresentation of India” is concerned and frankly speaking, I don't think I am any less patriotic because of that :-)

What really is the "appropriate'” representation of India...I personally don’t have an answer to that...

After all, India is as much about people still living below poverty line, about the thousands of slums like " Dharavi" spread all over the country, about religious riots, about children being forced into beggary, about young minds being drawn into crime for survival, as it is about people like you and me, who have been fortunate enough to be born into educated, middle class / upper middle class families, who are in a way driving the nation's economy and are the face of the progressive India,so to say. It's my belief that the sooner we realize and accept this fact, the more effective the inherent patriotism in each one of us will be in making a difference in the lives of those less privileged…

Who are we to question the creativity of a movie maker who chooses the poverty stricken life of the Indian slums as a backdrop to represent the resilience of the human spirit. Just as Italy and the Italian people are not all about the “mafia” just because a lot of movies have “Italian mafiadom” as a backdrop…so is India not all about poverty and slums just because the context of Slumdog Millionaire has the poor India as it’s backdrop…

Slumdog Millionaire is all about the human spirit…about resilience …about love….about friendship…about fragile human relationships…about being at the right place at the right time and witnessing one's destiny being moulded…

After all, for all fortunate Anil and Mukesh Ambanis of the world, who are born into luxury and given the baton of carrying forth a legacy, there is a Dhirubhai Ambani who had persevered, worked hard, been resilient through failures, loved and hated and been at the right place at the right time many a time, to build an empire, which many of us believe is one of the representations of the spirit of the progressive India….

So as a run up to the Oscars, let’s celebrate the spirit of Slumdog Millionaire and what Alexander Dumas’ fictitious characters of Athos, Porthos and Aramis have been teaching us about the human spirit for decades…

A life defining moment...

2009-02-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

D and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary last month...

We met for the first time more than 13 years back in high school...

D says I was definitely not his idea of a date or mate then... apparently I was far too tomboyish and nerdy for his liking...grrrrrrr...does the feminist in me cringe at the expression of such an obnoxious thought..of course it does:-)...but then it doesn't take much for the romantic in me to quickly take over and make me smile, as in the same breath D also describes in the minutest of detail where, when, how we first met and even what conversations we had...not just that, he vividly remembers our second, third, fourth and all the other " uneventful" encounters in high school... and before I can go on a rampage complaining and giving him 'feministic fundas', he is quick to remind me that he kind of made up for all the initial “explicit” lack of attention towards me, in high school, by pursuing me relentlessly for two years during our undergrad before I finally committed to a relationship...

Jokes apart, it was one long courtship before we finally got married...but against all odds , get married we did...and surprisingly enough, the odds that we faced were not the stereotypical “Indian family opposition” kind of issues...it was more the choices we made...like deciding to live in two different countries immediately after completing our undergrad…I am sure a lot of people would agree that a three year long distance relationship is a big enough "odd" to create raucous, rifts and drifts in any romance...

I would be lying if I claimed that there were absolutely no points during that three year phase when we were beginning to drift...for there were plenty...but each time we managed to get back together, primarily because at the bottom of the relationship we shared and share to date is a friendship that enables us to communicate our fears, apprehensions, insecurities and doubts to each other…all without the nagging apprehension of being judged unfairly…and I am eternally grateful to God for that…

Anyways, I have this habit of going back and looking at old photographs every once in a while and just the day before our anniversary I was having one of these photograph viewing sessions …pictures with family and friends at different stages of life, childhood in Shillong, high school in Guwahati, undergrad in Trichy, work in Bangalore, 2002-2003 Europe, 2003 US trip to visit D, D’s grad school days in North Carolina, Richmond, my grad school days in Maryland, our wedding in Guwahati, honeymoon in Venice, our ‘n’ number of vacations together, good times with friends and family…needless to say, it made me nostalgic…those memories made me wonder if there was any specific moment, incident or day that has defined and gone a long way in determining the way the last decade of my life, in general, and my relationship with D, in specific, has shaped out…

Oddly enough, my thoughts took me back to a moment on my fourth day in the ‘Opal’ girls hostel in REC Trichy…that’s where I studied for my undergraduate degree in Engineering…

If a nice relaxing vacation is what you are looking for,Trichy is definitely not
the place to go :-)...nevertheless, the four years I spent in this small university town in Tamil Nadu has gone a long way in defining my life so far....

Those were the days of boring lectures, cycling around campus in the scorching heat, inedible mess food, three day second class train journeys back home for vacation...

I vividly remember, on the 4th day of my stay in the hostel, after a long session of getting ragged and subsequently weeping into my pillow :-((, I had packed my bags and was all set to return home to Guwahati....my hostel senior, who was supposed to escort me to the phone booth to make the fateful call to my parents, sat me down in her room and just said one thing "Suck up the stress for a couple of more weeks and you will not regret it"....

That moment there, when I made the conscious choice to stay on, and the four years thereafter have defined my life on the personal as well as professional front.....life was never the same again…. life long bonds and friendships were formed with people from all across the country as each one of us struggled to fit in ... cupid struck and turned into a blissful long term commitment …

Big dreams...uncertainty...trials...tribulations ...joys...sorrows...night outs...weekend trips...heartbreaks...love...parties...failures …accomplishments ...all contributing to an exciting journey leading to where I am today...

I strongly believe that our lives are stamped with defining moments that mark our memories, guide our futures and define us as individuals and in a weird kind of way, that simple choice I made that day to stay back and continue at REC Trichy laid the foundation of my relationship with D …as both of us struggled to fit into a new way of life, we developed a bond and connection stronger than any I have known…had I chosen to return back home to Guwahati that day, I cannot even imagine what life would have been like for both of us…

Thereafter both of us have been confronted with a lot of choices and moments which had the potential of making or marring our relationship…but none had the potential of affecting the direction of my life and my connection with D the way that nondescript moment in REC Trichy did…

D and I continue to have our fair share of tiffs, arguments, disagreements and vicious fights on big issues and small…but I know one thing for sure that my life with him in the past decade has made me grow and evolve into a better, well rounded human being…I won’t take the liberty to speak for D in this space…but if he also does feel the same, I think the past decade has been well spent by both of us 

As for what the future holds for us, it’s really not for us to speculate or for others to judge :-)…so here’s a toast to the years we’ve been together…

A teeny weeny ski adventure...

2009-01-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

I love mountains, I love snow and I love snow clad mountains, of course...and I invariably accompany D on at least one skiing trip every year...not for the love of skiing, though :-)

One of the reasons I accompany D on his annual skiing adventures is because I really hate hearing him crib and hold me responsible for being a deterrent to the growth of his adventurous spirit by not encouraging him to ski …any discussions on this issue always end up with us engaging in arguments about him not having enough space in the relationship to get involved in activities which he enjoys whereas I don't…well, well I am sure that would sound familiar to a lot of girls who are either married or in relationships and they would definitely vouch for the fact that “ the space in a relationship” issue is the basis of many an argument in most reasonably “normal” households …

Anyways, now coming back to the point…so the other day, while I was asserting my dislike for adventure sports, specifically skiing, a friend asked me something to the effect of why I couldn't or rather wouldn't allow D to go skiing alone with his friends…that got me thinking...there is definitely no real compulsion for me to accompany him on his skiing trips …after all I do give him the “space” and let him do a lot of other things on his own without being clingy…tennis, golf and not to forget most importantly I allow him to sit on the couch and gulp down can after can of beer while watching football, basketball and all those 'n' other sports, season after season after season :-), while I sacrifice watching many of the 'oh so entertaining' episodes of the “Desperate Housewives” in the process …

As a matter of fact, we did explore the option of him going skiing alone with his friends this one time a couple of years back…the plan was that while he was away, I would catch up on some chick flicks and some reading…but you know the kind of tricks the female mind plays in such scenarios…throughout that 12-14 hour period that he was away, I was distraught with scary speculations…my mind was clogged with horrifying thoughts and “what ifs”…'what if' he fell down and seriously hurt himself with no one around him to help him…'what if' he needed to make an emergency call and there was no cell phone signal on the slopes…'what if' he decided to break the promise he had made to me and graduate to those dangerously steep and treacherous “Black diamond” slopes….what if…what if…what if…I was scared…so much so that like the proverbial 'nag' I couldn't resist the urge to keep calling him every 10 -15 minutes to just check on him…needless to say, the day didn't go off as planned or as well as we would have liked for either of us…after this episode, the consensus was that for the peace of mind of both of us, we would either venture out on skiing trips together or wouldn't go at all …

As far as I am concerned, I have never been a fan of any form of adventure sports,whatsoever…so I always knew it was highly unlikely that I would develop a real passion for skiing…however I realized that to be able to make these skiing trips with D enjoyable, in addition to my skiing gear, all that I needed to be equipped with was the ability to laugh at myself (an absolute essential if you want to survive among those toddlers whizzing past you with such dexterity while you fumble,tumble and fall all over the place ) and an ability to chit-chat with “like minded” strangers loitering around at the base of the beginners' slopes….fortunately I have developed and nurtured both these abilities over the years…when I say “like minded” , I mean people who would much rather be cuddled up on a couch in front of the tv sipping hot chocolate rather than be on the ski slopes…:-) and believe it or not, you will them aplenty at the ski resorts...

Anyways, so the first time D and I went skiing, after the above mentioned episode, was supposed to be a two night “ romantic getaway” at the Show Shoe Resort in Virginia…I went out on to the snow all geared with skis and poles but without ear warmers and a hat…and as you can imagine, after slipping, sliding, falling and getting up a number of times, I was numb with cold and ended up spending the rest of the day getting pampered at the spa :-)….the second and third times we went skiing, I was in the company of like minded girlfriends and ended up spending the day at the base without venturing out on to the slopes, choosing instead to chit chat about our lives and catching up on all the gossip that was doing the rounds :-)...

This time around however, the couple of friends who were accompanying us on the skiing trip were all revved up about mastering the “art and science” of skiing…so I really didn't have much of a choice…

As soon as we reached the base, while D set out to ski on his own in the intermediate slopes, the other three of us took beginner ski lessons…to cut a long story short, I tried skiing down the beginners' slope a couple of times with my friends with little success to boast of ...I was never able to complete the whole ride downhill without falling …I would either fall while getting off the lift at the top of the hill or while trying to stop at some point on the slope while skiing downhill…

Close to the end of the day,while D was busy negotiating and skiing down dangerous terrains, a second friend of mine had graduated from the basic beginners' to the mid level beginners' slope while the third friend had reached the conclusion that as far as skiing is concerned 'you either get it or you don't' and he very wisely decided that he was better off sitting at the resort sipping coffee and watching a football game rather than venturing out on to the slopes again...so that left me…I decided to go back to the basic beginners' slope alone this time around…needless to say, I was scared…

The first time I came down the slope, I had a bad fall while trying to stop…there was this sweet little 5 year old girl, Sarah, who had taken the beginners' skiing lesson with me, who adroitly stopped near me on her way downhill and gave me a helping hand to get back on my feet...she egged me on to accompany her to the top of the slope and skii down again…and though I was still shaken after the bad fall, I didn't really have the heart to disappoint this little toddler…so I reluctantly decided to give this whole skiing thing another try …this time when I got off the lift at the top of the hill, I was still on my feet and didn't fall…that was one winner, for sure…I let Sarah ski down the hill first and thereafter started my venture downhill…as I gained momentum on my way down, I began to panic like I had the earlier times…I desperately wanted to stop …and in an attempt to do so, in skiing lingo, I “edged”, “wedged” and “turned” and to my amazement there I was in the middle of the hill at a complete standstill and very much on my feet …whoa….another winner here :-) …with renewed confidence I was prepared to negotiate the remaining part of the terrain downhill…and I think I did pretty well this time….'cause I reached the base of the slope in one piece and most importantly ,on my feet…and there they were Sarah and two of her little friends skiing up to me and congratulating me with 'high fives' … and I sure had a ear to ear grin on my face…after all this was my first successful skiing venture in all these years…whoa…I was in fact ecstatic…

Funny, embarassing, touching, exhilarating…if any experience could be all of this at once….this was it …a teeny weeny accomplishment in the big picture of things…but an accomplishment for me, nevertheles!

Another year goes by...

2009-01-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

2008 has whizzed past... just seems like the other day when D and I, on Jan 1 2008, were pondering over the achievements and failures of 2007 ,over cups of coffee, while nursing New Year's Eve party hangovers ...today, it’s already more than a year since then…

All said and done, by God’s grace, 2008 was a reasonably good year for both of us on the personal as well as professional fronts( touchwood)…

On the personal front, we set up our home together, had both sets of
parents and my brother visit us , reveled in the much awaited wedding of the family (D’s elder brother finally decided to take the plunge after years of self induced commitment phobia :-)), had some great times with friends and extended family…memories we’ll cherish forever…

On the professional front, both of us have progressed in our careers like we had hoped, albeit in small steps …

Not to forget, we’ve witnessed history in the making with the election of Barack Obama as the 44th president of the USA…not just that, it’s been a fun and enriching experience being gripped by phases of ‘Obamamania’ and witnessing a reinforcement of peoples’ belief in the enormity of the difference they can make with simple choices in a democratic nation…

As far as resolutions for the New Year go, on the personal front I never really make objective/measurable resolutions for myself…my resolutions are always hazy ,more in the likes of read more, sleep less, write more, weigh less, dump the piano, pick up the guitar, work hard, party harder…you get the gist …none of my personal resolutions are such that I can look back at the year gone by and objectively declare their fruition/failure…it’s great that I at least have ‘SMART’ (in managerial lingo, 'Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Timebound') professional objectives for 2009 …that will keep my life balanced as far as resolutions are concerned, for sure…a complete dearth of objectives for a new year could potentially deem life directionless :-) whereas too many ‘SMART’ personal and professional resolutions can make a year of life end up becoming one helluva marathon with no finish line in sight …robbing life of its charm , of course, in the process … I do however hope that D manages to take his New Year resolution to fruition i.e. to quit smoking for good…we’ll see how that goes …keeping my fingers crossed…

As for what the year 2009 has in store for us…only time will tell…like D says, at the very least , all of us have a challenging year ahead ….with the uncertainties that define corporate America, the meltdown of it’s financial system and the repercussions of the same being observed in the global markets, the best we can do is hope and pray that we are able to ride out the storm and come out of the crises unscathed…or if not unscathed ,at least we have the resilience to come out of the crises stronger as individuals …we’ll see how things go…hopefully at this same time next year, I will have more good things to write about than bad ;-)

But for now…here’s a toast to the year gone by…to all the good times and beautiful memories shared with family and friends in the year 2008…no significant life events or changes, but good times nevertheless…

We ended the year 2008 vacationing in the beautiful US Virgin islands of St. Thomas and St Johns, basking in the warmth of the Caribbean sunshine…in the land of black beards ale, rum, conch fritters, rum cakes and blackened Mahi Mahi…in the land of beautiful, laid back, lively people…where lush green cliffs and hills, dotted with quaint Caribbean homes, lead on to white sands and the turquoise blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean Sea…here are a few photographs , our amateurish attempts, to capture the pristine beauty of these islands…

Mumbai..

2008-12-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

I am depressed...have been for the past week or so...I have practically no direct ties to Mumbai...haven't lived in the city, haven't worked there either...just a couple of cursory, touristy visits in the past three decades...but the recent terror attacks in the 'city of dreams', as many choose to call it,have affected me in a way I have never been affected before...

Had never imagined starting off my blog on such a depressing note...have been having these endless discussions with D this past week about what could have, what should have, what must be done...all of course, from the comforts of our living room, thousands of miles away from Mumbai... having been fortunate enough not to be tangibly affected by the attacks,at least for now...

Perhaps penning my thoughts would just help me make sense of it all...make me feel less helpless or at least less guilty about feeling so helpless...I really don't know...

I have been haunted by the images of Major Unnikrishnan's mother reaching out to touch her young son's face for one last time...the Jewish toddler, Moshe, howling for his mom while folks around him prepared for his parents' funeral...the 11 year old kid lying on the hospital bed, sensing the void in his small world, even without being explicitly told that his parents had fallen prey to the terrorists' bullets...images that provide just a glimpse of the devastation and havoc wreaked by the attackers who held the city of Mumbai to hostage for 60 long hours...

Coming from Assam, it's not that I have not been exposed to the kind of devastation that terrorism causes...a close friend of mine lost her father to the bullets of Bodo extremists at the tender age of 9...terrorism had struck close to home and to my heart several times earlier...but on the 26th of November, while news was trickling in about the Mumbai attacks and as I made frantic phone calls to family and friends to make sure everyone was okay, it was with an extra bit of trepidation in my heart...10 near simultaneous attacks across one of the most populous cities in India ...all in places and at times where potentially any family member/friend could have been...

Depressed I am because of the lack of a political system that should have stood united in the face of this terror...

Depressed I am because of politicians willing to dole out crores of rupees as compensation to the families of the victims of terror when that same money could have been used to safeguard their lives ...

Depressed I am to read that lives of our bravehearts could have been saved if not for some corrupt officials deciding to reap monetary benefits by buying and selling faulty bulletproof jackets...

Depressed I am as I realize that our hospitality and humaneness as Indians, as demonstrated by the deeds of the staff of the attacked hotels and the likes of Sandra Samuels,has had to go through such a grim test...

Depressed I am because of the existence of political powers who refuse to respect and let the families of our martyrs grieve in peace...

Depressed I am at the thought that the events of the three days succeeding 26th November,2008 would soon be forgotten as a nightmare with nothing being done to prevent repeat attacks of an equivalent or larger scale...

Depressed I am because having chosen a career that's so distant from public service, a decade back, I feel guilty translating my grief into anger and helpless in trying to convert this latent anger against the system into positive activism...

Depressed I am because from thousands of miles away from India, all that I can do is attend candle light vigils and memorials to honor the victims of terror...

The September 11, 2001 attacks in NY were just as devastating and so have been all the attacks in Assam and other parts of India and the world before and after... but for some reason seven years back , I seemed to be a lot more hopeful and optimistic that the system would get sorted out...that things would take a turn for the better...then, in my early twenties,fresh out of college, single, just starting off my career, I felt I had the potential to take on and change the world...

Today, seven years later,happily married, established as a professional , I am scared and less optimistic...perhaps with stability in life, wisdom and age (of course :-)) dawns the realization of life's limitations...D and I have been talking about having kids in a few years from now...but I am scared....I am scared of bringing in a life I cannot protect from all these unknown elements,that seem to be spreading terror and growing stronger at it by the day.... scared of not being able to guarantee the pristine,calm and carefree childhood that every child deserves...