My Dearest Papa - Father, Friend and Guardian Angel

My dearest “Papa” had many academic and professional accomplishments to his name. But today, I will not speak of those. Today it’s time to celebrate his spirit, his zest for life and his over powering optimism...the impact he directly/indirectly had on many a life due to his generosity and kindness of heart!

Papa was a dreamer, an optimist and someone who could light up the day of a 4 year old and 70 year old alike. He had a zest for life like no other. In more ways than one, Papa and I are kindred spirits - love for chocolates, cheese, roadtrips and engineering aside, I am also a dreamer just like him! Oh and of course, I am as clumsy as he. While he acknowledged having a kindred spirit in his first born, Papa lived his life through his second born, my little brother Ashish. He was always super excited and pumped about whatever Ashish did. No one knows better than I how proud Papa was of all the qualities that Ashish inherently has/has developed that Papa knew he himself lacked, and more. No one was prouder than Papa of his little boy’s accomplishments.

Papa was an unconventional dad. To him, being happy and content in what we did and how we lived was more important than conforming to any societal norms. He was a friend not just to his kids, but my mother and all our cousins and friends. Growing up, whenever my friends visited home, they would always look forward to seeing him and chatting with him, because he was just such a “cool” dad. No conversation was off bounds...academics, politics, boyfriends, whiskey, philosophy, cars, travel. His jovial nature and zest for life has left a mark on many!

Stellar academic qualifications aside, Papa was a true engineer and innovator par excellence. Curious at the core, always learning something new and applying it to come up with innovative concepts...be it petrochemicals , textiles, bamboo or his latest passion - Aeroponics and Hydroponics farming. He was always up to discovering new things! This summer, when he was visiting us in Northern Virginia, Dipanjan and I observed Papa in the office room, ardently at work, drawing engineering diagrams from scratch for his new Aeroponics and Hydroponics venture. The level of detail in his hand drawings was mind boggling. You could literally pick them up and build the machines he was designing. Imagine that, in this “technology based design” obsessed world!

Oh, and did I tell you about his love for jackets and sweatshirts!  He would often get a earful from both Ma and I about carrying an entourage of jackets and sweatshirts to a warm vacation spot...only to have him buy a few more, while on vacation (Perhaps that’s the Shillong effect, where he spent the major part of his childhood . How he loved Shillong! ) That memory now gives us a reason to smile, doesn’t it! And at least a couple of those jackets and sweatshirts will find a permanent place in each of our closets, to be cherished forever...

Cars, driving and travel were some of Papa’s other passions. Talk of roadtrips and the twinkle in his eyes would get ever so brighter. There was a point in time during my childhood, as soon as a new car was in the market, it would be on our driveway and the family would be off on long drives /trips. Needless to say that made our childhood particularly adventurous . He couldn’t imagine himself, living a life where he couldn’t drive or travel.

Above all, Papa was an eternal optimist. He filled our lives and those of near and dear ones with hope and positivity, in the darkest of times. His indomitable spirit and positivity will immensely be missed. We will miss the father and friend he was to us. Ma will miss her “Preetam”. Raya and Rayan will miss their uber cool “Koka/Kaks”. He will be missed in the numerous other roles he played “Dada”/“Borta”/“Mama”/“Moha”/"Üncle" and so on. But one thing is for sure, if all of us are able to live our lives being half as positive, hopeful and optimistic in life as Papa was, life will indeed be a “dream”!

Papa was all heart! Over the past few days, we have been overwhelmed by the multitudes of "Papa" memories from people from all walks of life about the kind of impact Papa had on them and how he touched so many lives in so many ways!

As I got home to Guwahati, and saw him lie in this state of eternal bliss and peace , my heart broke into a million pieces at the realization that it was time for us to let him go. But I have no doubt that he is shining down on us and will do so always, as our guardian angel, whereever he is.

Every time I sneak in to grab a piece of chocolate, hoping no one would notice...every time I see the kids tussle for the TV remote ( Did I tell you ""tv remote tussling"" was a regular part of Papa and my daily rituals, while I was growing up! ), I will look up at the sky to see Papa smiling down at us...perhaps hard at work on his newest engineering passion and innovation, putting many a new age techie to shame. He will be sprinkling angel dust on us, continuing to teach us the importance of positivity, hope and of living life on one’s own terms, but living it to the fullest!

He left like he lived...on his own terms, having lived life to the fullest...if there’s any solace, at all, we can find amidst this overbearing grief and loss, it is that!

Today, I am raising a toast to my dearest Papa, the brightest star in my life - yesterday, today and forever. And knowing him, I can already see him raising a toast back, with that twinkle in his eyes, to a life well lived! That is how he would have wanted us to remember him.