The sum of the parts…

5 years back , at around this time of the year, I had written this blog post, as little Raya stood at the threshold of kindergarten. Today she is a rising 5th grader and our little Rayan stands at the same threshold. He is a rising kindergartener ready to start elementary school in a week’s time…

Yesterday, the rising kindergartener’s back pack came in…and oh there was so much excitement…such are the little joys of life! Yesterday, the school bus schedule came in as well…and suddenly the realization dawned on me that my little baby boy wasn’t a baby any more . Needless to say it brought a a lump to my throat( and DD had a hearty laugh at this …oh well!)

The years have indeed whizzed past …

Little Rayan is today a week away from starting kindergarten. He loves Mac and cheese , fruit and yogurt ( yes you read that right indeed…fruit is on that list!) He wants to be a ‘chef’ at the lemonade stand when he grows up ( whatever that means 😂) His favorite song is “What a man gotta do” by Jonas brothers and he says it reminds him of his ‘Koka’ ( My dad). His favorite book is the set of “The Biscuit” books. His favorite sports  are  tennis & soccer. He has the “Bong” sweet tooth..gets it from his dad, of course! He is scared of monsters, spiders and bugs. While he is not a chatterbox like his big sister , he is the one in the family who keeps us entertained with his well timed wise cracks…

Little Raya , who is not so little anymore , is today 3 weeks short of her 10th birthday. She is one week away from starting 5th grade. She continues to be a chatterbox and a social butterfly. She also continues to love 'mac and cheese' , ‘hot dogs' and 'butter rice'('makhon bhaat'). She has a mind and personality of her own and she owns it well! 😂 She loves music and dancing …wants to be able to sing like Adele & Taylor Switft when she grows up in addition to becoming an inventor and teacher. Her favorite sports are swimming,tennis and acro dance ( I was told

by her that’s a sport indeed !) Her favorite book is “Keeper of the Lost Cities”… and she is scared of monsters , snakes and spiders…

Both kids are imperfect and flawed in their own ways , much like DD and I are, but it is surreal the fact that there is some kind of harmony in those imperfections that makes the whole greater than the sum of it’s parts!

Both the kids are extremely attached to the family, the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins…and both of them miss their “Koka”….I am so glad they were able to spend as much time as they did , with him, when he was around!

The kiddos also continue to make their way into our bedroom in the wee hours of the morning, cuddle with their mama and baba and then in their sleep push us to the edges of the bed while they take over the entire king sized bed...

A part of what the kids have  grown up to become are their inherent personalities…a part of it is  'D' and I iterating through a process of good and 'not so good' parenting choices, as we are constantly learning, ourselves. But a gynormous and very important part of both kids’ development has to be attributed to the 'village' that has helped us through this process...our extended families...and the absolutely wonderful, loving, caring group of caregivers and teachers at the AOL/ Oath/ Verizon child development center. Yes, the center has gone through multiple name changes in the 10 years we have been connected with it, between both the kiddos. But what hasn’t changed, is the love, affection and care the caretakers and teachers at the center have showered on our kids. I can't agree more with the fact that "it takes a village" to bring up a child. Today I want to pause and celebrate the 'village' that first nurtured Raya and then Rayan and helped them blossom over the years …for much like I said 5 years back, I would not have been able to stay sane, 'hungry' and 'foolish'(in a profession that requires me to stay 'hungry' and 'foolish') without this support system ...It would not have been possible for the whole to be greater than the sum of the parts without the support …

Who knows what the future holds for the kids …like everything else in life, it will probably be full of ifs, buts, whys and whats...good and 'not so good' choices that will be made and will shape their life and destiny ...but in this moment there is a lot to be grateful for ! So thank you! 

P.S.Hoping the Delta variant stays at bay and the kids are able to get back to a normal school year!

Summer ramblings...Our comfort zones and beyond!

We are half way through the year and for some reason, a lot seems to have happened. I know there just have been so many unknowns for so many of us as the pandemic has unfolded. I do hope everyone has  figured out coping mechanisms for all that the pandemic has dealt us and those around us. Heartfelt prayers for the precious lives we have lost and the lives left behind to deal with unimaginable loss :(. 

I haven’t been very active on my blog for a while, but I am hoping to get better, as the year further unfolds. For now though, as we return to just a semblance of normalcy, here’s what’s been going on with us. Both ‘D’ and I started new jobs this summer. Yupp you are right to think that that’s a lot of change, but both of us are really looking forward to fresh learnings and on having an impact in our exciting new roles. So do wish us luck. I particularly loved the work and role I was in, but am super excited to be pushing myself out of my comfort zone with a new team to lead in a new organisation.  

We started the summer with a much needed break in the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos (https://rayalingo.wordpress.com/blog/?fbclid=IwAR0DA1CtiNnMDU2BtkYZl868CbagRjmOdcoKDhN26uCq4kfZT4a9rzHPwm0) . The kids had an absolute blast . Now they have been tucked away to full time day summer camps (5 days a week) at their favourite Oath/Verizon/AOL Child Development Center.  The name of the centre has changed quite a few times since we started there with Raya when she was just 9 months old. Today, as Raya stands on the cusp of turning ten, the centre and it’s staff and faculty are like extended family. Ten years back, when I was searching for a Day Care Centre for baby Raya, I couldn’t have imagined that we would spend a decade at the centre between both our kids. Like they say, it does take a village to bring up a child and as Rayan stands on the threshold of starting Kindergarten , starting a new phase in a new school, I couldn’t be more thankful for the support system ‘D’ and I have had  and the village (http://sliceoflife-priyanka.blogspot.com/2016/08/our-rising-kindergartener-and-her.html) that has provided both our kids the care and affection they needed over the past 9+ years, enabling us to pursue our careers, passions and just keeping us "plain Jane" sane, if you know what I mean.

In addition to starting a new job, I have also started pursuing a dormant passion with renewed energy…tennis. I have started taking lessons and am  working diligently on my technique. In the past, whenever ‘D’ and I have played, I have often surprised him with the power of some of my strokes. With the lessons that started a few weeks back, it has been humbling to realise that my tennis, so far, has been all about “power” and no “control” LOL.  It’s been amazing to realise how good foot work can transform the game of tennis one plays. Hope to be able to continue this through the rest of the year. 

I do want to pivot a bit here to something which may not seem relevant to all of you at the moment, but was a revelation to me and I thought was worth sharing . A couple of days back we had a kahoot for our broader division to get to know the leadership team better. I was asked to provide  a fun fact to see if the team could relate that back to me and here’s what I picked:  “Picked up skiing as an adult to keep up with the kids (navigating many a fall, but thankfully without breaking any bones :))”. While you may not believe so, the “without breaking any bones” part is important , given in addition to all the “regular” falls on the slopes, in one instance I basically flew off the ski lift, was air bound for quite some time before  hitting the ground in one piece (by God’s grace). Either way , that’s besides the point. I do consider the fact that I graduated from essentially being a 'slacker' skier, perfectly happy sipping hot chocolates at the mountain base, to actually being able to navigate a variety of terrains of slopes (albeit only green slopes, for  now), quite an accomplishment . Veteran skiers must be having a hearty laugh at considering this an accomplishment, but believe me when I say picking up skiing , as an adult, is not easy! That aside , just having to identify this interesting fact for the team to kahoot on, got me thinking about what life lessons have  I  really learnt from my brief but persistent tryst with skiing . I realised the lessons learnt were plenty, but here are the three key life lessons, that I wanted to share:

1. Get out of your comfort zone: Every once in a while it is important to take a leap of faith, get out of your comfort zone and just do something different. The joys at the end of the untrodden path may just be the light you need to charter the path forward and introduce you to sights, paths and dreams , you had never envisioned.
2. Persistence & Practice : Like most other things in life...training, persistence and practice are key to getting better at this sport.
3. Be willing to fail: Don’t be afraid or embarrassed of falling. The first few times, if you need help getting up, get the help you need. But soon enough you will learn to get up on your own after a fall, shove it off and move on. And before you know it, you will be helping others get up. Also remember, almost no one whizzing past you, is laughing at your fall (contrary to what you may choose to think). Most people want to help if they can. So be ready to fall, get the help you need to get up and before you know it, you will be leading the way for many others and lending them a helping hand.

On that note, I hope each of us is able to nudge ourselves to the edge of our comfort zones , to  discover the learnings and joys that lie just beyond. Have a fabulous summer everyone!

2020 - A year of loss, love, reflection, learning and gratitude

Last year at this time, we were in India with our extended families ...my dearest Papa, in his jolliest of moods, ready to party on New Year's Eve. His untimely passing has been one of the cruelest facts of the year 2020 for us. Tough to imagine that the next time I visit India, he will not be there at the airport peeking out from behind the crowd , waving at us! As difficult as it has been to reconcile with his untimely passing, I do believe that in small ways and big, I have figured out coping mechanisms and ways to come to terms with it....it definitely has not been easy and there are still times I get overwhelmed with waves of grief, but overall I have learnt to derive solace from the belief that he is in a better place and is looking over us from above, at all times. So today when we raise a toast to usher in a new year, it will be a toast to him, his life and all that his life has taught us.

In the midst of this enormous loss, that the year 2020 brought with it, the year has also provided a lot of time for reflection, and as dark as it has sometimes appeared to be, there are a lot of things I am grateful for, as I look back at the year gone by. Grateful for having been able to spend time with Papa and the extended family at the beginning of the year... for being able to bid Papa goodbye, the way he would have wanted and spend some quality time with my mom, brother and extended family right after he passed (The pandemic related lockdowns started right after I got back to the US from India and I know a lot of folks who have lost loved ones during the pandemic, without having been  able to say proper goodbyes)....Grateful for all the human bonds he has left behind ...it's surreal how the loss of my father has further strengthened the sibling bond between my brother and I...Grateful for the social distancing (Yes!!) in the early days of the pandemic...it provided me with the much needed time to spend just with the family and heal...Grateful for my ambivert personality trait that enables me to be content within the four walls of the house, when needed, without being bogged down by the lack of sufficient external in-person interaction ... Grateful for a profession that keeps me excited and sane (and that hasn't required me to expose myself/family to undue risk during the pandemic)...Grateful for a supportive partner who shares absolutely all responsibilities equally and more: home, kids,work...and is a super cook too:)...Grateful for kids, who have adapted and figured out ways to deal with lifestyle changes that the  pandemic has brought about( as much as I may tell them that they drive me insane with their antics...and as much as I dislike to admit it, it's their antics that actually provide the semblance of sanity...as paradoxical as it sounds!)...Grateful to all, who have had to put their own lives, and the lives of their near and dear ones , at risk to keep all of us safe...Grateful for the extended family and friends, with whom I have been able to stay connected or have been able to reconnect over the course of the year....And yes, grateful for technology,(ironic indeed that Netflix's documentary, "The Social Dilemma", that highlights some of the darkest impacts of technology on human relations was released in 2020) that has helped me keep connected with near and dear ones across the globe. It would have been close to impossible to survive this year, personally and professionally, without the technological advances of the past decade....Above all, grateful for the sense of togetherness that this year has been about, despite being often physically thousands of miles apart from near and dear ones.

In other news, Raya turned 9 this year. The social butterfly that she is, she has had to adapt the most in terms of getting used to the virtual learning scenario and the lack of sufficient social interactions (or at least as much as she would have liked). She has adapted really well, I have to say, and has figured out ways to keep herself engaged. She keeps us up to date about the happenings in the "youth" music world. She also introduced herself and us to the genre of AcrobaticsArts, specifically AcroDance. She is also training herself (self training) in this genre and the amount of progress she has made,  without any formal training is pretty amazing. I specifically find it incredible given my own lack of body flexibility LOL. For those who may not be aware(much like I was not), AcrobaticArts , more specifically AcroDance is a unique blend of dancing and gymnastics disciplines, that is taking the dance world by storm. Stunning moves from gymnastics are blended with steps and routines from the dance world for a unique and modern approach to dance. She continues dabbling with the piano and has also recently started her blog: https://rayalingo.wordpress.com/blog/ and vlog/youtube channel : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSuB-wAIP_XAYVFtkP0efEQ . Hopefully she will share more about her interest in AcroDance through one of those mediums . Leaving you with a glimpse of some of the various poses we see her in during different times of the day :)

Little Rayan turned 5 this year. He is growing up fast and has developed quite the sense of humor...his timely wisecracks keep us entertained, for sure. How I wish I could keep him a baby forever! He hasn't started elementary school yet and was in pre-school prior to the pandemic related lockdown started, so once Raya's elementary school full time virtual learning kicked in, Rayan was beginning to get a bit frustrated, not having anyone to play with during the day. So we started sending him back to pre-school for three days a week with due precautions. So far that has worked out well. Fingers crossed. He ended 2020 making his "big mountain" skiing ‘debut’ (that’s what I choose to call it!:)) and joined big sis and dad on some exciting trails while beating mom down most slopes LOL. He has been so excited ever since, that he is ready to go back to the mountains next time it snows! Credit for introducing both kids to the joys of skiing, up in the mountains, goes to their dad...

After a day on the slopes last week, I was talking to the kids about the need to "Be safe , while being brave" when skiing...As soon as I completed my sentence, Master Rayan quipped in with , " But Mama, being safe is always brave, right?" I was taken aback by the alacrity and the spontaneity of his remark...but it sure did sound profound! On that note, I do hope  all of you have had a safe, healthy and warm holiday season, filled with the love and affection of near and dear ones. Hopefully I will get back to writing more often this year, than I have been doing the last couple of years. To think of it, this blog is now 12 years old. If not anything else, I have managed to keep it alive with a slow trickle of posts...

Wish you all a new year filled with love, light, laughter, health and happiness! May the new year bring with it cheer and hope for all.

My Dearest Papa - Father, Friend and Guardian Angel

My dearest “Papa” had many academic and professional accomplishments to his name. But today, I will not speak of those. Today it’s time to celebrate his spirit, his zest for life and his over powering optimism...the impact he directly/indirectly had on many a life due to his generosity and kindness of heart!

Papa was a dreamer, an optimist and someone who could light up the day of a 4 year old and 70 year old alike. He had a zest for life like no other. In more ways than one, Papa and I are kindred spirits - love for chocolates, cheese, roadtrips and engineering aside, I am also a dreamer just like him! Oh and of course, I am as clumsy as he. While he acknowledged having a kindred spirit in his first born, Papa lived his life through his second born, my little brother Ashish. He was always super excited and pumped about whatever Ashish did. No one knows better than I how proud Papa was of all the qualities that Ashish inherently has/has developed that Papa knew he himself lacked, and more. No one was prouder than Papa of his little boy’s accomplishments.

Papa was an unconventional dad. To him, being happy and content in what we did and how we lived was more important than conforming to any societal norms. He was a friend not just to his kids, but my mother and all our cousins and friends. Growing up, whenever my friends visited home, they would always look forward to seeing him and chatting with him, because he was just such a “cool” dad. No conversation was off bounds...academics, politics, boyfriends, whiskey, philosophy, cars, travel. His jovial nature and zest for life has left a mark on many!

Stellar academic qualifications aside, Papa was a true engineer and innovator par excellence. Curious at the core, always learning something new and applying it to come up with innovative concepts...be it petrochemicals , textiles, bamboo or his latest passion - Aeroponics and Hydroponics farming. He was always up to discovering new things! This summer, when he was visiting us in Northern Virginia, Dipanjan and I observed Papa in the office room, ardently at work, drawing engineering diagrams from scratch for his new Aeroponics and Hydroponics venture. The level of detail in his hand drawings was mind boggling. You could literally pick them up and build the machines he was designing. Imagine that, in this “technology based design” obsessed world!

Oh, and did I tell you about his love for jackets and sweatshirts!  He would often get a earful from both Ma and I about carrying an entourage of jackets and sweatshirts to a warm vacation spot...only to have him buy a few more, while on vacation (Perhaps that’s the Shillong effect, where he spent the major part of his childhood . How he loved Shillong! ) That memory now gives us a reason to smile, doesn’t it! And at least a couple of those jackets and sweatshirts will find a permanent place in each of our closets, to be cherished forever...

Cars, driving and travel were some of Papa’s other passions. Talk of roadtrips and the twinkle in his eyes would get ever so brighter. There was a point in time during my childhood, as soon as a new car was in the market, it would be on our driveway and the family would be off on long drives /trips. Needless to say that made our childhood particularly adventurous . He couldn’t imagine himself, living a life where he couldn’t drive or travel.

Above all, Papa was an eternal optimist. He filled our lives and those of near and dear ones with hope and positivity, in the darkest of times. His indomitable spirit and positivity will immensely be missed. We will miss the father and friend he was to us. Ma will miss her “Preetam”. Raya and Rayan will miss their uber cool “Koka/Kaks”. He will be missed in the numerous other roles he played “Dada”/“Borta”/“Mama”/“Moha”/"Üncle" and so on. But one thing is for sure, if all of us are able to live our lives being half as positive, hopeful and optimistic in life as Papa was, life will indeed be a “dream”!

Papa was all heart! Over the past few days, we have been overwhelmed by the multitudes of "Papa" memories from people from all walks of life about the kind of impact Papa had on them and how he touched so many lives in so many ways!

As I got home to Guwahati, and saw him lie in this state of eternal bliss and peace , my heart broke into a million pieces at the realization that it was time for us to let him go. But I have no doubt that he is shining down on us and will do so always, as our guardian angel, whereever he is.

Every time I sneak in to grab a piece of chocolate, hoping no one would notice...every time I see the kids tussle for the TV remote ( Did I tell you ""tv remote tussling"" was a regular part of Papa and my daily rituals, while I was growing up! ), I will look up at the sky to see Papa smiling down at us...perhaps hard at work on his newest engineering passion and innovation, putting many a new age techie to shame. He will be sprinkling angel dust on us, continuing to teach us the importance of positivity, hope and of living life on one’s own terms, but living it to the fullest!

He left like he lived...on his own terms, having lived life to the fullest...if there’s any solace, at all, we can find amidst this overbearing grief and loss, it is that!

Today, I am raising a toast to my dearest Papa, the brightest star in my life - yesterday, today and forever. And knowing him, I can already see him raising a toast back, with that twinkle in his eyes, to a life well lived! That is how he would have wanted us to remember him.

Summer of 2019...

The summer seems to have whizzed past, this time particularly fast! Just like that...before we even realized it, Raya is in third grade...Rayan is a big boy...finally potty trained😆and making us roll in laughter with his words of wisdom. Though he is not as much of a chatterbox as Raya, he does have an absolutely quirky sense of humor !

This summer was all about spending quality time with family and friends. Kids got to spend a lovely summer,bonding with the grandparents. Raya did her share of camps and socializing...and amidst of all of that, in case you were wondering, yes we did manage to appease the wanderlust in us along the way. No summer is complete without taming the travel bug in us, is it !?🙂

This summer wanderlust took us on a roadtrip along the Pacific NW of the United States. The beauty of the Pacific Coast of the United States along Route 1, south of San Francisco is much talked about, written about, photographed and visited.... Monterey, Carmel, Big Sur, Saint Lui Obispo...et.al...What often gets overlooked is the beauty of the coast, the mountains and valleys north of San Francisco along Route 1, and beyond...Other than being captured by Hollywood and the likes of Anthony Bourdain, a major part of the pristine beauty of the Pacific NW is vastly unexplored by the larger masses(which may be a good thing or bad, based on how you look at it!🙂). The Pacific NW of the United States was indeed the destination of our journey this summer (yeah yeah it is meant to be paradoxical! 🙂 ). We had already done a road trip from Los Angeles to San Francisco  along the coast a few years back.... this time it was about continuing to drive north of San Francisco....

Two weeks...more than 2100 non interstate  miles...coasts...cliffs...vineyards...mountains...valleys...beaches...lakes...hikes....trails...breweries...great weather...good food...great company (caught up with quite a few old buds along the way!). First leg...San Franscisco, Carmel, Sausalito, Napa, Sonoma, Bodega Bay, Mendocino...we were back in this area for the third time and it hasn't lost it's charm, for sure! "The Girl and the Fig" in Sonoma is not to be missed, if you are looking for a good meal. Mendocino and the drive to it was dreamy, misty, beautiful. That was followed by a tryst with the natural wonders of the Pacific NW...the surreal Redwoods...the beautiful Southern Oregon Coast ...Crater Lake....Mount Hood...Smith Rock...the quaint towns of Brookings and Bend in Oregon ! The "Riverhouse on the Deschutes" is highly recommended for a stay in Bend...so is this eclectic eatery in Bend called "Spork"....I could go back to Bend just for the pepper infused voda + basil based cocktail they served(was it called Maui Z!?)...ooooh! One of the hidden gems of the Southern Oregon Coast is the area included in the Samuel H. Boardman State park....pristine beaches and landscape...dramatic cliffs...gorgeous sunsets....Whaleshead beach and Harris beach are absolute must dos....Also don't skip the Redwood State Parks. While the national park trails are beautiful, groomed and well maintained, some of the Redwood Trees within the State parks had an element of surreality, unexperienced so far....invariably gave me goose bumps!

The last leg of the trip...Portland, Northern Oregon Coast , Mount Rainier and an absolutely wonderful , relaxing end to the vacation in Seattle with lovely family friends of decades !!!

DD and I have done quite a few road trips, specifically coastal drives in different parts of the world, over the years...each coast and drive is of course unique...but the one along Route 1 this summer in the Pacific NW ranks somewhere up there in the top of the list....

We often get asked how we end up doing such long roadtrips with kids. First of all it helps, that both 'DD' and I enjoy driving. So the driving aspect of it is really not stressful at all. We also love doing off the beaten path things, when on trips. Roadtrips enable that, to say the least. While a major part of our trips is planned, we leave quite a few things unplanned and a roadtrip provides the perfect avenue to explore unplanned paths. We wouldn't have discovered some of the beautiful pristine locales of the Southern Oregon coast  had we not just been aimlessly driving around🙂 This trip, we also discovered that our kids really enjoy hiking and nature trails, provided they are not too long. We also give kids their time to adapt and adjust. Roadtrips always invariably start with kids poking us every half  hour...."Mamma/Baba...when are we reaching our destination?" However, by the time we are into our third day of driving, the kids get pretty used to 3 - 4 hour drive times...all that they need is good music, some sugary treats and the bait of some promised time in the pool/beach at the end of the day!🙂....(Anytime there's news on the radio in the car instead of music, Raya invariably has a headache and Rayan a tummy ache...Oh well!!...Of course all aches go away as soon as the news channel transitions to music....LOL )....So yes, for now we do make sure every lodging we book has a pool to give the kids some water time....Also on any one day, we make sure driving time is restricted to 4 hours, to the extend possible...and of course, then we plan for enough days in between where there's no driving at all or minimal driving....this seems to have worked pretty well in all our summer road trips the past few years! So fingers crossed for future trips!

The following quote from Anthony Bourdain pretty much sums up how I feel each time we come back from one of these trips,"

"It seems that the more places I see and experience, the bigger I realize the world to be. The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know of it, how many places I have still to go, how much more there is to learn. Maybe that’s enlightenment enough - to know that there is no final resting place of the mind, no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom means realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go." 

Leaving you with some snapshots of the beauty of the Pacific NW....and with dreams of the next stop and destination....whenever, wherever that might be...Happy Friday!

Memories and Inspiration - Sister Victoria Nunes

Have any of you been super inspired by a teacher/educator, always being conscious of the enormous impact the person has had in shaping your life....Nevertheless being bogged down by worldly pursuits over the years, and hence losing touch...only to regret not having kept connected, till it was too late...far too late. I, for one, have been guilty of this. This specific teacher/educator(call her what you may), was Sister Victoria Nunes. She was the principal/headmistress of my high school in Guwahati and passed away last week.

I don’t believe it would be an exaggeration to say that Sister Victoria took the school by storm, when she took over as the principal/headmistress,  albeit a very good kind of storm ....a storm that causes the elimination of weeds, brings with it hope of a harvest and leaves behind only lushness and the opportunity for growth. She was ahead of her times...progressive...exuded positivity and had the uncanny ability to provide a sense of calm, even in the midst of turmoil. Most importantly she was a visionary leader. 

Just yesterday, I was having a conversation with my team about leadership skills and was emphasizing a key difference between a good ‘manager’ and a good ‘leader’. I was telling them how a ‘good manager’ sets good rules for a team, creates a framework to execute them and more often than not has his/her team’s back in terms of the execution path, but the focus is always on ‘execution’.....A ‘good leader’, on the other hand, is able to do all that a good manager does, while additionally being able to nudge a team forward towards a vision...is empathetic...is a good listener...accepts failures...is willing to inspect and adapt a vision, as essential...is fearless in having to change rules or the vision, all the while never letting go of the focus on his/her team and it’s needs. As I got out of this meeting/conversation with my team, I sat back for a moment, introspecting on what I had just spoken to my team about ‘managers’ and ‘leaders ‘....It was uncanny how my thoughts went back  all the way to my days in high school, when Sister Victoria brought about so many positive , progressive changes in school....to all the times when she listened with empathy to all students and not just listened, but figured out a way to do something about their concerns.  It was a revelation given it was for the first time that I realized my first lessons in leadership were not from a course I took in grad school or a book I read or a TED talk/Podcast I heard(believe me I have done all of these in abundance ). My first lessons in leadership, the importance of ‘emotional quotient’( much before it became a buzz phrase)  was from Sister Victoria Nunes... this serene, beautiful , progressive lady who I had the fortune of having as a teacher and who brought about some many much needed changes in school ...who led with so much empathy, positivity and vision. The nerdy nerd that I was in high school, she was one of the few who seemed to see something in me other than my academic merit. On multiple occasions, she nudged me to come out of my shell and do things outside my comfort zone. She encouraged/guided me and always had my back, as I took over as the head girl in high school. I believe she saw a spark in me that no one else did.  Above all, she nudged and encouraged me to write, and I will forever be grateful to her for enabling me to develop this therapeutic habit.

The kind of effect Sister Victoria had, particularly in my class of girls, was like the effect of a stone thrown into a lake. The stone disrupts the still waters of a lake and the effect is not only visible, but lasting. Ripples formed by the first plop of a stone in a lake expands until they can be felt all along the surface, and these ripples stop and die out only when they reach the shore. In Sister Victoria’s case, all the ripples created and propagated made all of us better in some way, I choose to believe.

Everyone , who’s known me since childhood, would attest to how I have evolved over the years ....In all of this, I am forever grateful for the lessons different people have taught me at different phases of life. I am often guilty of not expressing gratefulness, while there is still time ...and specifically Sister Victoria’s passing away drives home the point again about how unpredictable life can be, given I was planning to go see her in my next visit to India. But why do I have this feeling that had she heard me express this in person to her , she would just have had something witty to say, with that ever so serene smile, that would make all the regret and guilt go away in a jiffy. Perhaps it is because it was just the way she was....affectionate , beautiful, full of empathy and just happy about being able to contribute to the growth and progress of the youth, whose life she touched.

Rest In Peace dear Sister Victoria...and thank you...Thank You! I do hope my kids are fortunate enough to have at least one teacher, like you, in their lifetime.

The year gone by...

2018 has whizzed past…a lot to be grateful for as I look back at the year gone by…lot of lessons learnt...and another year to look forward to...

The little ones are growing up fast, which is always a bitter sweet emotion, but overall they are doing well, by God’s grace.

Raya loves school and continues to be the social butterfly she always has been…it’s quite a treat to see how she absorbs information about the "going ons" in the world and about different cultures and cuisines through her interactions with her friends and other folks around her. I finally introduced her to Enid Blyton. It’s lovely to see her enjoy reading some of the books I grew up reading. “Malory Towers” is her current Enid Blyton favorite. Reading, swimming and piano are currently her favorite hobbies . She does keep adding so many things to her list of “want to do” activities(singing, dancing, tennis and what not!!), that I often lose track and  feel like a really bad mom, when I have to ask her to pick between hobbies and activities .  Oh well, there is only so much one can do and do well at! Some of my friends tell me, it’s better to have a kid who wants to explore, learn and do stuff than not. But I guess, like everything else, there are pros and cons in this context too:) Ever since Raya was a toddler, when putting her to bed, I say a small prayer and ask her about her day. These days, with so many things going on, if I forget to ask my customary,”Raya…so how did your day go today?”, she is prompt to remind me I forgot to ask her something….and without much ado sets off on a prolonged monologue about her day. As exhausted as I generally am at that point of the night, this “description of her day” often has the ability to make all the exhaustion melt away and it's something I have really grown to look forward to. I have to say though, Raya’s sleep pattern has deteriorated over the years and she often wakes up multiples times a night. So we gotta work on that this coming year. Raya has also developed a love for  skiing, thanks to her dad. Last year around the Christmas holiday, when her cousins were visiting, we introduced her to skiing. This Christmas, ‘D’ and she made the most of the beauty of West Coast skiing with multiple cross mountain runs in the Park City and Canyons resorts in Utah. With my skiing skills , unfortunately I had to stay put at the lower slopes, but I believe and hope I will be ready for the more difficult “blues” next time around for sure!:)

Rayan has also grown by leaps and bounds this year…his vocabulary is exploding ...his newest obsession is cars!! He keeps us on our toes ,has become very expressive as well as naughty , and more often than not, he cracks us up with the use of words in the most unlikely of contexts. “Never mind” and “I didn’t mean to do it”  are his favorite phrases at the moment. To add to all the fun, he has quite the moves too:)He is super easy going and absolutely not as “high maintenance” as his big sister:) I have to say, for now, he is quite the mama’s boy!! ‘D’ always chuckles and reminds me that for  all the fun that I have made of “Mama’s boys” in the past(you know the ones one comes across in high school and college!) , I have one of my very own now :)….Oh well I am quite enjoying it while the cuddles, love and attention lasts. He is working on getting potty trained…and as you can imagine, I simply can’t wait to be free of lugging around the diaper bag, though I have a feeling, it may take him a bit longer than we would like! Oh well. He loves his preschool/day care, which is a blessing. We’ve been super lucky to have had a great child care center for Raya and Rayan, the teachers are affectionate and loving and the kids being happy makes it much so much easier for both of us to work and follow our passion. After all ,it takes a village to bring up a child!!

The kids also spent some quality time with the grandparents and their cousins this year. Both sets of grandparents visited from India and the kids made some wonderful memories with them. They also got to see and spend some time with their cousins over the summer. So that was great!

This year was also a terrific year in terms of satisfying the ‘wanderlust’ in us. Two ski trips(Snowshoe in WV and Park City in Utah ), a summer trip to visit family in Holland and then a road trip in the middle of “World Cup soccer fever” in “GOT” land, the  stunning country of Croatia (Summer of 2018), and then some smaller trips to quaint little towns(including Ashville, NC) on the US east coast. The kids seem to be loving the travel aspect of our lives, as much as we do. So fingers crossed that ‘that’ will continue. They however are not as excited about exploring different cuisines as ‘D’ and I are. I am hoping this will get better with age, or maybe it won’t…we will see!

On the professional front, it has been a mixed bag, but overall good! I have often observed, when ‘D’ is happy at work, I am not and when I am, “D” is not. While there have been various points of time when both of us have been  happy at work, fortunately so far there has not been a phase when both of us have been unhappy at the same time…as you can imagine, that could end up being stressful:) I currently lead a group of senior technologists at work, working at the cutting edge of technology and the rate at which technology is evolving, for me , at least, it leaves no space and time for boredom. There’s constant learning. So that’s really good!

On a more sombre note, there have been quite a few moments that have made me hold my family and friends closer to my heart…young friends diagnosed with serious health conditions, some of them gone way too soon…sudden deaths of family members and family friends, who have been a part of my growing up years…. all such moments driving home the point about how short and fragile  life is …how important it is to be grateful and content with what we have …and that nothing is more important than having and sharing, love, light, laughter and good health with all our near and dear ones, while we are around !

As far as resolutions for the New Year go, on the personal front I never really make objective/measurable resolutions for myself…my resolutions are always hazy ,more in the likes of read more, sleep less, write more, weigh less, dump the guitar, pick up the piano, work hard, party harder…you get the gist …none of my personal resolutions are such that I can look back at the year gone by and objectively declare their fruition/failure…it’s great that I at least have ‘SMART’ (in managerial lingo, 'Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Timebound') professional objectives for 2019 …that will keep my life balanced as far as resolutions are concerned, for sure…a complete dearth of objectives for a new year could potentially deem life directionless :-) whereas too many ‘SMART’ personal and professional resolutions can make a year of life end up becoming one helluva marathon with no finish line in sight …robbing life of it's charm , of course, in the process … having said that, I do want to focus on fitness and writing , on the personal front.

As for what the year 2019 has in store for us…only time will tell…needless to say, it is a challenging world and environment to live and bring up children in …..Hopefully at this same time next year, I will have more good things to write about than bad ….fingers crossed!

For now…here’s a toast to the year gone by…to all the good times and beautiful memories shared with family and friends in the year 2018…no significant life events or changes, but good times nevertheless…

Wish all of you love, light, laughter, health and happiness this coming year!

Leaving you with a montage of the beautiful views and vistas from our ski trip this winter...the absolute wonders of nature!