Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A life defining moment...

D and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary last month...

We met for the first time more than 13 years back in high school...

D says I was definitely not his idea of a date or mate then... apparently I was far too tomboyish and nerdy for his liking...grrrrrrr...does the feminist in me cringe at the expression of such an obnoxious thought..of course it does:-)...but then it doesn't take much for the romantic in me to quickly take over and make me smile, as in the same breath D also describes in the minutest of detail where, when, how we first met and even what conversations we had...not just that, he vividly remembers our second, third, fourth and all the other " uneventful" encounters in high school... and before I can go on a rampage complaining and giving him 'feministic fundas', he is quick to remind me that he kind of made up for all the initial “explicit” lack of attention towards me, in high school, by pursuing me relentlessly for two years during our undergrad before I finally committed to a relationship...

Jokes apart, it was one long courtship before we finally got married...but against all odds , get married we did...and surprisingly enough, the odds that we faced were not the stereotypical “Indian family opposition” kind of issues...it was more the choices we made...like deciding to live in two different countries immediately after completing our undergrad…I am sure a lot of people would agree that a three year long distance relationship is a big enough "odd" to create raucous, rifts and drifts in any romance...

I would be lying if I claimed that there were absolutely no points during that three year phase when we were beginning to drift...for there were plenty...but each time we managed to get back together, primarily because at the bottom of the relationship we shared and share to date is a friendship that enables us to communicate our fears, apprehensions, insecurities and doubts to each other…all without the nagging apprehension of being judged unfairly…and I am eternally grateful to God for that…

Anyways, I have this habit of going back and looking at old photographs every once in a while and just the day before our anniversary I was having one of these photograph viewing sessions …pictures with family and friends at different stages of life, childhood in Shillong, high school in Guwahati, undergrad in Trichy, work in Bangalore, 2002-2003 Europe, 2003 US trip to visit D, D’s grad school days in North Carolina, Richmond, my grad school days in Maryland, our wedding in Guwahati, honeymoon in Venice, our ‘n’ number of vacations together, good times with friends and family…needless to say, it made me nostalgic…those memories made me wonder if there was any specific moment, incident or day that has defined and gone a long way in determining the way the last decade of my life, in general, and my relationship with D, in specific, has shaped out…

Oddly enough, my thoughts took me back to a moment on my fourth day in the ‘Opal’ girls hostel in REC Trichy…that’s where I studied for my undergraduate degree in Engineering…

If a nice relaxing vacation is what you are looking for,Trichy is definitely not
the place to go :-)...nevertheless, the four years I spent in this small university town in Tamil Nadu has gone a long way in defining my life so far....

Those were the days of boring lectures, cycling around campus in the scorching heat, inedible mess food, three day second class train journeys back home for vacation...

I vividly remember, on the 4th day of my stay in the hostel, after a long session of getting ragged and subsequently weeping into my pillow :-((, I had packed my bags and was all set to return home to Guwahati....my hostel senior, who was supposed to escort me to the phone booth to make the fateful call to my parents, sat me down in her room and just said one thing "Suck up the stress for a couple of more weeks and you will not regret it"....

That moment there, when I made the conscious choice to stay on, and the four years thereafter have defined my life on the personal as well as professional front.....life was never the same again…. life long bonds and friendships were formed with people from all across the country as each one of us struggled to fit in ... cupid struck and turned into a blissful long term commitment …

Big dreams...uncertainty...trials...tribulations ...joys...sorrows...night outs...weekend trips...heartbreaks...love...parties...failures …accomplishments ...all contributing to an exciting journey leading to where I am today...

I strongly believe that our lives are stamped with defining moments that mark our memories, guide our futures and define us as individuals and in a weird kind of way, that simple choice I made that day to stay back and continue at REC Trichy laid the foundation of my relationship with D …as both of us struggled to fit into a new way of life, we developed a bond and connection stronger than any I have known…had I chosen to return back home to Guwahati that day, I cannot even imagine what life would have been like for both of us…

Thereafter both of us have been confronted with a lot of choices and moments which had the potential of making or marring our relationship…but none had the potential of affecting the direction of my life and my connection with D the way that nondescript moment in REC Trichy did…

D and I continue to have our fair share of tiffs, arguments, disagreements and vicious fights on big issues and small…but I know one thing for sure that my life with him in the past decade has made me grow and evolve into a better, well rounded human being…I won’t take the liberty to speak for D in this space…but if he also does feel the same, I think the past decade has been well spent by both of us 

As for what the future holds for us, it’s really not for us to speculate or for others to judge :-)…so here’s a toast to the years we’ve been together…

4 comments:

SBora said...

hey happy anniversary......

Priyanka Rajkhowa said...

Thanks a lot, Rhimjhim ba !

SBora said...

happy valentines to you too...wish Gapuchi for me as well...keep it simple - thats our motto! you are still young- so you can afford to go overboard!

Rashmi said...

Good one Priyanka! Wishing you both many many more years of happiness together!