Cavetoons...

With summer just round the corner (at least historically...who knows this year we may just end up experiencing white, snowy months of June,July,August if the unpredictable weather pattern is anything to go by :-)), I have been doing some research on the theatre and standup comedy scene in the Washington DC metro area...

There are quite a few interesting shows and plays lined up for this summer...more about them in another post...I just want to post some cavetoons in this space for now...brought a huge grin to my face as I browsed through them again yesterday...

And as to what are 'cavetoons'...so we went for this show "Defending the Caveman" last summer ...essentially a stand up comedy, endorsing and accentuating the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" philosophy. It was a hilarious show that left both D and me as well as the friends who accompanied us with that quintessential "feel good" feeling that arises from the realization that we are not alone, as far as having to deal with some of the apparently "atypical" idiosyncracies of our partners, is concerned ...

So here are some cavetoons(courtesy www.defendingthecaveman.com)...hope it will bring a smile to anyone who drops by the blog...

Mahalo Maui !

Aloha...

We just got back from a beautiful, relaxing and refreshing Hawaiian vacation last week...

Needless to say, it was pretty difficult bringing ourselves back to work and to the world of mundane daily chores after spending five days in what seemed like paradise…

We were visiting Maui, the lovely Hawaiian island bang in the middle of the Pacific and eons away from the mainland…the land of beautiful sunsets...swaying palm trees...acres of sugarcane fields...miles of gorgeous white, black and red sand beaches...land of kula coffee and mai tais...the Haleakala volcano...hula dancing...laulau...poi...luaus...leis...beautiful beed and shell jewellery...amazing hand carved wood trinkets...adorable Polynesian people and culture...

It was an unplanned trip and was hence all the more exciting...the beach bums that D and I are, a major portion of our five day vacation on this gorgeous island was spent beach hopping, sun bathing and engaging in a variety of water sport activities. We drove up the Haleakala volcano and hiked a couple of miles down...walked above the clouds at the crater summit...drove along the unpredictable pacific coastline forming the island ... explored part of the sometimes rocky ,sometimes serene pacific landscape/terrain on car as well on foot...and of course sipped more than our fair share of 'mai tais' as we watched the sun go down everyday ...

It was a different kind of sunset each of those five days...the sun would go down, filling the sky in a splatter of soothing and daunting colors(I know for sure now that it's definitely possible for an experience to be soothing and daunting at the same time:-)).

I am an ardent nature lover...but that aside, my fascination and love for sunsets is augmented by the fact that I spend most of my pre and post twilight hours negotiating the notorious Washington DC traffic, thus rarely getting a chance to just sit down and watch the sun go down :-)...what else...we got a birds eye view of a clothing optional beach...and of course not to forget hogged on local Hawaiian food and drinks...

Here are a few pics of this piece of paradise on earth...Maui...

Us and Them...

Well for all of you Pink Floyd fans, this post is not really about their “Us and Them” classic which I so ardently love…this post is literally about “us” and “them”…the social stratifications created among humans by humans through prejudiced beliefs…

When educated, young politicians go on to make such inflammatory statements like Varun Gandhi did in Pilibhit (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/EC-files-criminal-case-against-Varun-Gandhi/articleshow/4275065.cms), it is depressing to realize that what all of us have been clamoring for so far i.e. to have educated, progressive thinking youngsters in the Indian parliament , with hopes that they will be able to guide India to become a world power by leveraging the secularity, the democratic ideals of the nation and the intelligence/ perserverance of the common Indian man, is perhaps just a utopian dream…

I have always been proud of coming from a country which nurtures as much diversity in terms of faith, language and culture as India does…a country where at a specific point of time in recent history, the two highest official positions in the country were held by two extremely talented individuals ...a Muslim president and a Sikh prime minister …both being from what are considered minority communities in a nation which is inhabited by the largest Hindu population in the world…

Wherever there is diversity, there is of course bound to be differences of opinion about matters big and small…and it’s all good that there exist different opinions or views about matters…but when these cultural differences take a turn for the worse to become prejudices and premises for judging people and actions, that’s a lethal step towards turning the moderates among common folks into extremists…and to be very frank it doesn’t take a genius or a scholar to realize that…

I personally believe that it’s all good to be proud of a faith by choice …after all each individual derives solace and strength from different sources…choice and belief in a faith is something personal but being prejudiced by a faith and demeaning others who do not concur with one’s beliefs is really not acceptable…

That brings me to another controversial topic about prejudices… “the caste system” in India…of course a lot has been written and discussed about the evils of this system and I need not delve into it further…just the other day, we were having a discussion among friends that transitorily dwelled on the caste system in India…that discussion, though short and of no specific significance, provoked me to go back and rummage my old diaries for tid bits of some of my teenage year conversations with my grandparents and parents about religion, faith and social stratification…

Born into a family which has never encouraged discrimination based on culture, religion or any such other societal divides, for the major part of my life I have been quite oblivious to the burden/superficialities that the belief in the caste system entails. Though no one I know endorses the system in black and white, over the years I have heard a lot of people say that the origin of the system lies in/is endorsed in the Vedas…

I have always been skeptical about this myth though, because my granddad always used to say that the Vedas do not endorse a specific religion or classification of humanity…they talk about a way of life …a culture…

So I did my bit of research and am I glad that my belief about the tolerance of the thoughts articulated in the Vedas and of Hinduism as a culture was proved correct!!!

The Vedas say and I quote, “‘Janma Jaat Shudra Sarve, Karmenu Brahman Bhavati”…this means, by birth all human beings are born inferior and it’s only ones deeds or “karma” that go on to determining how great or superior a human being grows up to be…


I wouldn’t claim to have read the Vedas or the Bhagavad Gita to completion…may be some day I will…but I am sure all scriptures of faith including the Quran, Guru Granth Sahib, the Bible and all others have the same thing to say about human kind….it’s just us lesser mortals, who have a way of reading between the lines in support of some of our prejudices…

I visit temples and love the feeling and the sense of inner strength that permeates me when the chanting of Sanskrit mantras reach a crescendo, I enjoy the serenity and peace that envelopes me when I pray in a Church, I am filled with an unsurpassed feeling of hope as I light candles in a dargah…and I am sure as and when I do visit a gurudwara and other sites of worship, I will be filled with similar thoughts and feelings…

All faiths, at the core, have the same things to say…to nurture respect and tolerance for others, to be humble, to appreciate the dignity of labor, to live and let live…

Life is, after all, far too short and beautiful to burden it with notions of “Us” and “Them”…

Athos, Porthos, Aramis and the spirit of Slumdog Millionaire

This one's been long due:-)...now with the movie nominated in 10 Oscar categories and tipped to win the best picture by a lot of critics, I do have to pitch in with my two cents as well...he..he..he...specially with all the hoopla surrounding it about whether India, as a country , has been represented "appropriately" in the context of the movie...

We watched Slumdog Millionaire about two months back during the phase of its limited release in the US...

I personally loved the movie...I always do love "feel good" movies...those that make you sit at the edge of your seat at the theatre and cheer the protagonist till he/she achieves what he/she set out to achieve or just dreamt of achieving in the first place...movies that can make you choke with emotion but at the same time make you want to stand up and applaud at the end, for they symbolize and represent hope, love and the resilience of the human spirit...

When I got out of the theatre after watching Slumdog Millionaire, let's say this, I felt cheered and had a smile on my face...it was ,after all, a very well made movie...great cinematography, screenplay, dialogues and not to forget A. R. Rehman's melodious, soul stirring music...a movie that represented the spirit of humanity...frankly speaking, at that point of time, that's really all that I cared about...

Then of course, as the movie gained popularity and moved on to become a full fledged commercial release, there were these plethora of debates and blog posts by anyone even remotely associated with India about whether the country has been "appropriately" represented in the context of the movie. There were statements made by Indian celebrities tagging the movie with as creepy terms as " poverty porn"…all because a relatively mid budget movie, with relatively unknown faces in Hollywood/Bollywood in the cast, directed by a British director, based
on a book by an Indian diplomat, had gone on to capture and hold the attention of global audiences...

I had a lot of arguments with friends who were of the opinion that despite being a good movie, Slumdog Millionaire was misrepresenting India to the global audiences...after all India is not all about poverty and slums etc. etc...I differed from them as far as the point of view of “misrepresentation of India” is concerned and frankly speaking, I don't think I am any less patriotic because of that :-)

What really is the "appropriate'” representation of India...I personally don’t have an answer to that...

After all, India is as much about people still living below poverty line, about the thousands of slums like " Dharavi" spread all over the country, about religious riots, about children being forced into beggary, about young minds being drawn into crime for survival, as it is about people like you and me, who have been fortunate enough to be born into educated, middle class / upper middle class families, who are in a way driving the nation's economy and are the face of the progressive India,so to say. It's my belief that the sooner we realize and accept this fact, the more effective the inherent patriotism in each one of us will be in making a difference in the lives of those less privileged…

Who are we to question the creativity of a movie maker who chooses the poverty stricken life of the Indian slums as a backdrop to represent the resilience of the human spirit. Just as Italy and the Italian people are not all about the “mafia” just because a lot of movies have “Italian mafiadom” as a backdrop…so is India not all about poverty and slums just because the context of Slumdog Millionaire has the poor India as it’s backdrop…


Slumdog Millionaire is all about the human spirit…about resilience …about love….about friendship…about fragile human relationships…about being at the right place at the right time and witnessing one's destiny being moulded…

After all, for all fortunate Anil and Mukesh Ambanis of the world, who are born into luxury and given the baton of carrying forth a legacy, there is a Dhirubhai Ambani who had persevered, worked hard, been resilient through failures, loved and hated and been at the right place at the right time many a time, to build an empire, which many of us believe is one of the representations of the spirit of the progressive India….

So as a run up to the Oscars, let’s celebrate the spirit of Slumdog Millionaire and what Alexander Dumas’ fictitious characters of Athos, Porthos and Aramis have been teaching us about the human spirit for decades…

A life defining moment...

D and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary last month...

We met for the first time more than 13 years back in high school...

D says I was definitely not his idea of a date or mate then... apparently I was far too tomboyish and nerdy for his liking...grrrrrrr...does the feminist in me cringe at the expression of such an obnoxious thought..of course it does:-)...but then it doesn't take much for the romantic in me to quickly take over and make me smile, as in the same breath D also describes in the minutest of detail where, when, how we first met and even what conversations we had...not just that, he vividly remembers our second, third, fourth and all the other " uneventful" encounters in high school... and before I can go on a rampage complaining and giving him 'feministic fundas', he is quick to remind me that he kind of made up for all the initial “explicit” lack of attention towards me, in high school, by pursuing me relentlessly for two years during our undergrad before I finally committed to a relationship...

Jokes apart, it was one long courtship before we finally got married...but against all odds , get married we did...and surprisingly enough, the odds that we faced were not the stereotypical “Indian family opposition” kind of issues...it was more the choices we made...like deciding to live in two different countries immediately after completing our undergrad…I am sure a lot of people would agree that a three year long distance relationship is a big enough "odd" to create raucous, rifts and drifts in any romance...

I would be lying if I claimed that there were absolutely no points during that three year phase when we were beginning to drift...for there were plenty...but each time we managed to get back together, primarily because at the bottom of the relationship we shared and share to date is a friendship that enables us to communicate our fears, apprehensions, insecurities and doubts to each other…all without the nagging apprehension of being judged unfairly…and I am eternally grateful to God for that…

Anyways, I have this habit of going back and looking at old photographs every once in a while and just the day before our anniversary I was having one of these photograph viewing sessions …pictures with family and friends at different stages of life, childhood in Shillong, high school in Guwahati, undergrad in Trichy, work in Bangalore, 2002-2003 Europe, 2003 US trip to visit D, D’s grad school days in North Carolina, Richmond, my grad school days in Maryland, our wedding in Guwahati, honeymoon in Venice, our ‘n’ number of vacations together, good times with friends and family…needless to say, it made me nostalgic…those memories made me wonder if there was any specific moment, incident or day that has defined and gone a long way in determining the way the last decade of my life, in general, and my relationship with D, in specific, has shaped out…

Oddly enough, my thoughts took me back to a moment on my fourth day in the ‘Opal’ girls hostel in REC Trichy…that’s where I studied for my undergraduate degree in Engineering…

If a nice relaxing vacation is what you are looking for,Trichy is definitely not
the place to go :-)...nevertheless, the four years I spent in this small university town in Tamil Nadu has gone a long way in defining my life so far....

Those were the days of boring lectures, cycling around campus in the scorching heat, inedible mess food, three day second class train journeys back home for vacation...

I vividly remember, on the 4th day of my stay in the hostel, after a long session of getting ragged and subsequently weeping into my pillow :-((, I had packed my bags and was all set to return home to Guwahati....my hostel senior, who was supposed to escort me to the phone booth to make the fateful call to my parents, sat me down in her room and just said one thing "Suck up the stress for a couple of more weeks and you will not regret it"....

That moment there, when I made the conscious choice to stay on, and the four years thereafter have defined my life on the personal as well as professional front.....life was never the same again…. life long bonds and friendships were formed with people from all across the country as each one of us struggled to fit in ... cupid struck and turned into a blissful long term commitment …

Big dreams...uncertainty...trials...tribulations ...joys...sorrows...night outs...weekend trips...heartbreaks...love...parties...failures …accomplishments ...all contributing to an exciting journey leading to where I am today...

I strongly believe that our lives are stamped with defining moments that mark our memories, guide our futures and define us as individuals and in a weird kind of way, that simple choice I made that day to stay back and continue at REC Trichy laid the foundation of my relationship with D …as both of us struggled to fit into a new way of life, we developed a bond and connection stronger than any I have known…had I chosen to return back home to Guwahati that day, I cannot even imagine what life would have been like for both of us…

Thereafter both of us have been confronted with a lot of choices and moments which had the potential of making or marring our relationship…but none had the potential of affecting the direction of my life and my connection with D the way that nondescript moment in REC Trichy did…

D and I continue to have our fair share of tiffs, arguments, disagreements and vicious fights on big issues and small…but I know one thing for sure that my life with him in the past decade has made me grow and evolve into a better, well rounded human being…I won’t take the liberty to speak for D in this space…but if he also does feel the same, I think the past decade has been well spent by both of us 

As for what the future holds for us, it’s really not for us to speculate or for others to judge :-)…so here’s a toast to the years we’ve been together…

A teeny weeny ski adventure...

I love mountains, I love snow and I love snow clad mountains, of course...and I invariably accompany D on at least one skiing trip every year...not for the love of skiing, though :-)

One of the reasons I accompany D on his annual skiing adventures is because I really hate hearing him crib and hold me responsible for being a deterrent to the growth of his adventurous spirit by not encouraging him to ski …any discussions on this issue always end up with us engaging in arguments about him not having enough space in the relationship to get involved in activities which he enjoys whereas I don't…well, well I am sure that would sound familiar to a lot of girls who are either married or in relationships and they would definitely vouch for the fact that “ the space in a relationship” issue is the basis of many an argument in most reasonably “normal” households …

Anyways, now coming back to the point…so the other day, while I was asserting my dislike for adventure sports, specifically skiing, a friend asked me something to the effect of why I couldn't or rather wouldn't allow D to go skiing alone with his friends…that got me thinking...there is definitely no real compulsion for me to accompany him on his skiing trips …after all I do give him the “space” and let him do a lot of other things on his own without being clingy…tennis, golf and not to forget most importantly I allow him to sit on the couch and gulp down can after can of beer while watching football, basketball and all those 'n' other sports, season after season after season :-), while I sacrifice watching many of the 'oh so entertaining' episodes of the “Desperate Housewives” in the process …

As a matter of fact, we did explore the option of him going skiing alone with his friends this one time a couple of years back…the plan was that while he was away, I would catch up on some chick flicks and some reading…but you know the kind of tricks the female mind plays in such scenarios…throughout that 12-14 hour period that he was away, I was distraught with scary speculations…my mind was clogged with horrifying thoughts and “what ifs”…'what if' he fell down and seriously hurt himself with no one around him to help him…'what if' he needed to make an emergency call and there was no cell phone signal on the slopes…'what if' he decided to break the promise he had made to me and graduate to those dangerously steep and treacherous “Black diamond” slopes….what if…what if…what if…I was scared…so much so that like the proverbial 'nag' I couldn't resist the urge to keep calling him every 10 -15 minutes to just check on him…needless to say, the day didn't go off as planned or as well as we would have liked for either of us…after this episode, the consensus was that for the peace of mind of both of us, we would either venture out on skiing trips together or wouldn't go at all …

As far as I am concerned, I have never been a fan of any form of adventure sports,whatsoever…so I always knew it was highly unlikely that I would develop a real passion for skiing…however I realized that to be able to make these skiing trips with D enjoyable, in addition to my skiing gear, all that I needed to be equipped with was the ability to laugh at myself (an absolute essential if you want to survive among those toddlers whizzing past you with such dexterity while you fumble,tumble and fall all over the place ) and an ability to chit-chat with “like minded” strangers loitering around at the base of the beginners' slopes….fortunately I have developed and nurtured both these abilities over the years…when I say “like minded” , I mean people who would much rather be cuddled up on a couch in front of the tv sipping hot chocolate rather than be on the ski slopes…:-) and believe it or not, you will them aplenty at the ski resorts...

Anyways, so the first time D and I went skiing, after the above mentioned episode, was supposed to be a two night “ romantic getaway” at the Show Shoe Resort in Virginia…I went out on to the snow all geared with skis and poles but without ear warmers and a hat…and as you can imagine, after slipping, sliding, falling and getting up a number of times, I was numb with cold and ended up spending the rest of the day getting pampered at the spa :-)….the second and third times we went skiing, I was in the company of like minded girlfriends and ended up spending the day at the base without venturing out on to the slopes, choosing instead to chit chat about our lives and catching up on all the gossip that was doing the rounds :-)...

This time around however, the couple of friends who were accompanying us on the skiing trip were all revved up about mastering the “art and science” of skiing…so I really didn't have much of a choice…

As soon as we reached the base, while D set out to ski on his own in the intermediate slopes, the other three of us took beginner ski lessons…to cut a long story short, I tried skiing down the beginners' slope a couple of times with my friends with little success to boast of ...I was never able to complete the whole ride downhill without falling …I would either fall while getting off the lift at the top of the hill or while trying to stop at some point on the slope while skiing downhill…

Close to the end of the day,while D was busy negotiating and skiing down dangerous terrains, a second friend of mine had graduated from the basic beginners' to the mid level beginners' slope while the third friend had reached the conclusion that as far as skiing is concerned 'you either get it or you don't' and he very wisely decided that he was better off sitting at the resort sipping coffee and watching a football game rather than venturing out on to the slopes again...so that left me…I decided to go back to the basic beginners' slope alone this time around…needless to say, I was scared…

The first time I came down the slope, I had a bad fall while trying to stop…there was this sweet little 5 year old girl, Sarah, who had taken the beginners' skiing lesson with me, who adroitly stopped near me on her way downhill and gave me a helping hand to get back on my feet...she egged me on to accompany her to the top of the slope and skii down again…and though I was still shaken after the bad fall, I didn't really have the heart to disappoint this little toddler…so I reluctantly decided to give this whole skiing thing another try …this time when I got off the lift at the top of the hill, I was still on my feet and didn't fall…that was one winner, for sure…I let Sarah ski down the hill first and thereafter started my venture downhill…as I gained momentum on my way down, I began to panic like I had the earlier times…I desperately wanted to stop …and in an attempt to do so, in skiing lingo, I “edged”, “wedged” and “turned” and to my amazement there I was in the middle of the hill at a complete standstill and very much on my feet …whoa….another winner here :-) …with renewed confidence I was prepared to negotiate the remaining part of the terrain downhill…and I think I did pretty well this time….'cause I reached the base of the slope in one piece and most importantly ,on my feet…and there they were Sarah and two of her little friends skiing up to me and congratulating me with 'high fives' … and I sure had a ear to ear grin on my face…after all this was my first successful skiing venture in all these years…whoa…I was in fact ecstatic…

Funny, embarassing, touching, exhilarating…if any experience could be all of this at once….this was it …a teeny weeny accomplishment in the big picture of things…but an accomplishment for me, nevertheles!

Another year goes by...

2008 has whizzed past... just seems like the other day when D and I, on Jan 1 2008, were pondering over the achievements and failures of 2007 ,over cups of coffee, while nursing New Year's Eve party hangovers ...today, it’s already more than a year since then…

All said and done, by God’s grace, 2008 was a reasonably good year for both of us on the personal as well as professional fronts( touchwood)…

On the personal front, we set up our home together, had both sets of
parents and my brother visit us , reveled in the much awaited wedding of the family (D’s elder brother finally decided to take the plunge after years of self induced commitment phobia :-)), had some great times with friends and extended family…memories we’ll cherish forever…

On the professional front, both of us have progressed in our careers like we had hoped, albeit in small steps …

Not to forget, we’ve witnessed history in the making with the election of Barack Obama as the 44th president of the USA…not just that, it’s been a fun and enriching experience being gripped by phases of ‘Obamamania’ and witnessing a reinforcement of peoples’ belief in the enormity of the difference they can make with simple choices in a democratic nation…

As far as resolutions for the New Year go, on the personal front I never really make objective/measurable resolutions for myself…my resolutions are always hazy ,more in the likes of read more, sleep less, write more, weigh less, dump the piano, pick up the guitar, work hard, party harder…you get the gist …none of my personal resolutions are such that I can look back at the year gone by and objectively declare their fruition/failure…it’s great that I at least have ‘SMART’ (in managerial lingo, 'Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Timebound') professional objectives for 2009 …that will keep my life balanced as far as resolutions are concerned, for sure…a complete dearth of objectives for a new year could potentially deem life directionless :-) whereas too many ‘SMART’ personal and professional resolutions can make a year of life end up becoming one helluva marathon with no finish line in sight …robbing life of its charm , of course, in the process … I do however hope that D manages to take his New Year resolution to fruition i.e. to quit smoking for good…we’ll see how that goes …keeping my fingers crossed…

As for what the year 2009 has in store for us…only time will tell…like D says, at the very least , all of us have a challenging year ahead ….with the uncertainties that define corporate America, the meltdown of it’s financial system and the repercussions of the same being observed in the global markets, the best we can do is hope and pray that we are able to ride out the storm and come out of the crises unscathed…or if not unscathed ,at least we have the resilience to come out of the crises stronger as individuals …we’ll see how things go…hopefully at this same time next year, I will have more good things to write about than bad ;-)

But for now…here’s a toast to the year gone by…to all the good times and beautiful memories shared with family and friends in the year 2008…no significant life events or changes, but good times nevertheless…

We ended the year 2008 vacationing in the beautiful US Virgin islands of St. Thomas and St Johns, basking in the warmth of the Caribbean sunshine…in the land of black beards ale, rum, conch fritters, rum cakes and blackened Mahi Mahi…in the land of beautiful, laid back, lively people…where lush green cliffs and hills, dotted with quaint Caribbean homes, lead on to white sands and the turquoise blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean Sea…here are a few photographs , our amateurish attempts, to capture the pristine beauty of these islands…