Back to blogosphere after a break with a rather instrospective topic :)
People fascinate me...and among 'n' not so desirable qualities which both D and I may have, there is one quality I am really proud of, that enriches our lives and makes it really worthwhile...and that's our love for people and diversity...
I have been fortunate enough to have lived in different parts of India as a child, lived dormitory life as a student and then of course have had the opportunity to interact with different kinds of people from all over India and the world, from different social and economic backgrounds, in the professional and social environment...essentially I have had opportunities galore to learn a whole lot of things about people and cultures that have added enriched perspectives to different facets of my life...I would be lying if I said I love every aspect of every person I meet, I wouldn't really be human if that were the case:)...what I am trying to say is that being open minded about people, in general, has helped me learn important things from a lot of people I have come in contact with...that has enriched my life...I am grateful for that...and that sense of gratitude adds to whatever little sense of tolerance I have...
Yesterday I caught up with a friend of mine over coffee and had a very interesting and refreshing discussion...the discussion among other things involved the notion of "fitting in and sometimes living with the illusion of being liked and loved vs standing out for who you are and being genuinely liked and loved, if loved at all"..my friend had some rather interesting incidents to narrate...I will not dwell on those further...
But yes, the general observation was that a lot of people try to fit themselves into stereotypes...aka "the intellectual", "the cool dude/dudette", "the goody two shoes","the connoisseur","the spiritualist"...doing things not because they are passionate about it or love it or believe in it but because they feel that's the "cool" or " in" or "right" thing to do, given the circumstances...perhaps it emerges from their inherent human need to be accepted into certain cliques... you see certain facets of their personality emerge with a specific set of people and a completely different facet of the same personality trait emerge in front of another set of people or another situation...it's scary, but true ..not just that, they often keep you guessing most of the time about who they are and in most cases, as these people keep wearing one mask above the other and trying to fit into different cliques, they often adopt a condescending attitude towards people who would much rather stand out in the crowd for who they are and still love and be loved/hated rather than fit in for reasons they don't necessarrily believe in...another observation was that we rarely see such people having too many constants in their life...they always seem to be in a perennial, never ending search for something more!!
While both my friend and I love debates, on this issue ,we were unfortunately on the same side of the discussion :)...so there was not much of a debate...both of us felt that the kind of people we are, we would much rather stand out in the crowd for who we are and be loved/hated for that while we learn and assimilate perspective from people coming from different backgrounds, while making and keeping them a part of our lives...but then of course we had this feeling that perhaps we were missing some important point here, that was biasing us towards our viewpoint...so I just thought, it would be a good idea to throw this topic out for debate on the blog...
So what do you think, in today's world, what constitutes happiness, contentment and success... "Fitting into preset notions and cliques and having a sense of belonging there" or " Standing out for who you while being flexible and learning from diverse people and life experiences and assimilating everyone's experiences into your lives"....my friend and I feel it's the latter...but then more often than not, I definitely am wrong:)...so do share your perspective if the issue strikes a chord…
So is "fitting in" synonymous to living life on someone else's terms while "standing out" in the above context synonymous to living life on your own terms...or have I got it all wrong ? And if it is, is one or the other the right way of living life !?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A revelation...
(Update: 9th September, 2011
Added blog post entry for inclusion in Sulekkha's(http://sulekkha.blogspot.com/2011/09/lets-make-collage-of-articles.html)collage of articles on "Soul Mates".Feel this entry echoes my thoughts on a soulmate most accurately...so here's a toast to times shared with a person , who you think is your soulmate, of course while the relationship and feeling lasts :) )
It's not any special day today...just an ordinary day when I started my long drive to work relatively early by my standards (early as in , 7:30 am in the morning...yes, for all those who know me well and my love for sleeping...that's really,really early :-) )...but that's besides the point...the point is that, amidst the ordinariness of the day in general, while listening to my regular dose of music during my drive to work, I had an extraordinary revelation of sorts :-)
A month or so back, a few of us friends went for a trip to a state park... at night as all us sat together, revelling in nostalgia and some great music, buzzed as usual with just the right amount of alcohol, conversations got interesting, as they generally do at such outings …amidst a couple of pointed questions, this friend of mine asked me a question, an answer to which funnily enough, after all these years of being together with D, I could not articulate effectively…the gist of his question was , given how different D and I are in a lot of ways, as in likes /dislikes etc., what is it that made us click initially and have helped us stay together so far, despite quite a few ups and downs in the relationship…after all, to start with , we were polar opposites…he was the “naughty dude…the bad boy”….I was “miss goody two shoes”…he was a “back bencher”…I was a “front bencher”…he was “funny”…I lacked a “sense of humor”…at least then I did…not anymore though…he he…I “loved books and reading” …books and conversations were then my primary source of information and knowledge …his “attention span was limited to seconds” as far as reading is concerned… life experiences and people interactions and conversations were his primary source of information and knowledge ...and the list goes on and on…
Now even today, I have a lot of reasons that could motivate me to kick D’s a** and leave him thristy and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow :-(... he loves golf, football, basketball, tennis , ‘n’ other sports and his car more than me...he picks on me, gangs up against me and makes fun of me at the slightest provocation, more often than not in public...he insists he is a better cook than I am and not just that, he sits on the couch while I slog it out in the kitchen, shouting out 'fundaes' about the fundamentals of cooking ( this , after knowing how hard I have worked to develop whatever few cooking skills I have)...he doesn’t quit smoking despite my repeated pleas to him to do so...he promises to come early from golf and get grocery done for a party we are hosting, but ends up coming a couple of hours late and stressing me out of my wits...and the list goes on and on...
But now, let me mention the revelation I had...just one simple reason that would stop me from leaving D thirsty and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow:)...D is absolutely comfortable in his own skin...with him, you really don’t have to keep guessing “what’s really going on?”...what you see is what you get...and what that means for me is that it helps me feel comfortable in my own skin ...helps me just be myself everywhere anytime...and it means being completely stress free, even when I have the illusion of being stressed, if you know what I mean :-)...well that’s the ‘early morning’ revelation I was talking about...nothing mushy, mushy or cheesy but a revelation nevertheless...though I agree you would say ,after three decades of life, 4 and half years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each other...it’s perhaps a late revelation on a rather ordinary day...but an important revelation for me,nevertheless...:)
Added blog post entry for inclusion in Sulekkha's(http://sulekkha.blogspot.com/2011/09/lets-make-collage-of-articles.html)collage of articles on "Soul Mates".Feel this entry echoes my thoughts on a soulmate most accurately...so here's a toast to times shared with a person , who you think is your soulmate, of course while the relationship and feeling lasts :) )
It's not any special day today...just an ordinary day when I started my long drive to work relatively early by my standards (early as in , 7:30 am in the morning...yes, for all those who know me well and my love for sleeping...that's really,really early :-) )...but that's besides the point...the point is that, amidst the ordinariness of the day in general, while listening to my regular dose of music during my drive to work, I had an extraordinary revelation of sorts :-)
A month or so back, a few of us friends went for a trip to a state park... at night as all us sat together, revelling in nostalgia and some great music, buzzed as usual with just the right amount of alcohol, conversations got interesting, as they generally do at such outings …amidst a couple of pointed questions, this friend of mine asked me a question, an answer to which funnily enough, after all these years of being together with D, I could not articulate effectively…the gist of his question was , given how different D and I are in a lot of ways, as in likes /dislikes etc., what is it that made us click initially and have helped us stay together so far, despite quite a few ups and downs in the relationship…after all, to start with , we were polar opposites…he was the “naughty dude…the bad boy”….I was “miss goody two shoes”…he was a “back bencher”…I was a “front bencher”…he was “funny”…I lacked a “sense of humor”…at least then I did…not anymore though…he he…I “loved books and reading” …books and conversations were then my primary source of information and knowledge …his “attention span was limited to seconds” as far as reading is concerned… life experiences and people interactions and conversations were his primary source of information and knowledge ...and the list goes on and on…
Now even today, I have a lot of reasons that could motivate me to kick D’s a** and leave him thristy and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow :-(... he loves golf, football, basketball, tennis , ‘n’ other sports and his car more than me...he picks on me, gangs up against me and makes fun of me at the slightest provocation, more often than not in public...he insists he is a better cook than I am and not just that, he sits on the couch while I slog it out in the kitchen, shouting out 'fundaes' about the fundamentals of cooking ( this , after knowing how hard I have worked to develop whatever few cooking skills I have)...he doesn’t quit smoking despite my repeated pleas to him to do so...he promises to come early from golf and get grocery done for a party we are hosting, but ends up coming a couple of hours late and stressing me out of my wits...and the list goes on and on...
But now, let me mention the revelation I had...just one simple reason that would stop me from leaving D thirsty and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow:)...D is absolutely comfortable in his own skin...with him, you really don’t have to keep guessing “what’s really going on?”...what you see is what you get...and what that means for me is that it helps me feel comfortable in my own skin ...helps me just be myself everywhere anytime...and it means being completely stress free, even when I have the illusion of being stressed, if you know what I mean :-)...well that’s the ‘early morning’ revelation I was talking about...nothing mushy, mushy or cheesy but a revelation nevertheless...though I agree you would say ,after three decades of life, 4 and half years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each other...it’s perhaps a late revelation on a rather ordinary day...but an important revelation for me,nevertheless...:)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tid Bits !!
I go out for a 'girls night out' with my friends...I come back home...and I am a complete chatterbox...I invariably have a deluge of things to talk about...ok girls, now don't get me wrong...I do follow the ‘girl code’ and not divulge any secrets that shouldn't be divulged...those are the ones sealed in blood and buried forever ...you know you can trust me on that...at least I haven’t let you down on that so far :-)...but the point I am trying to make is, I always do have more things to talk about and share than not!!
D, who in general loves talking and giving his opinion and fundaes on everything under the sun, goes out for a 'boys night out'...he comes back home...he is quiet...ok folks, don't let your perverted minds take over and scare me as well...now I do trust D enough to tell me if he is out on some adventurous night out, painting the town red ...so am really not worried about that bit :)!! Either way, coming back to the point...
I ask, "What did you boys do"...His answer, “Just hung out over drinks and a game of poker"...
I ask, "What did you guys talk"...His answer, "Nothing"...
I ask again, "How can you guys not talk about anything specific and just hang out...tell me na what did you guys talk"...His answer, "I don't remember"...
I become more assertive thereafter, "You don't tell me anything...why don't you tell me anything?!"...
His response “I have a ‘boy code’ to adhere to...don't ask me questions I shouldn't be answering or about things that don't involve me“...Now, apparently the ‘boy code’ has absolutely no scope for letting out filtered excerpts of 'boys night out' conversations...Whatever!! And then he continues, “Plus guys don't bond over constant chatter about random topics like you girls...we may be glued to our blackberries, drinking beer and watching a game ...without feeling the need to utter a word to each other and still bonding"...
I go into a thoughtful mode, "Really...how boring is that!! Life without unstreamlined, spontaneous conversations on random and often irrelevant
topics with girlfriends! Thank God I am not a guy :-)!”
Is it just me or do I have company here?!
D, who in general loves talking and giving his opinion and fundaes on everything under the sun, goes out for a 'boys night out'...he comes back home...he is quiet...ok folks, don't let your perverted minds take over and scare me as well...now I do trust D enough to tell me if he is out on some adventurous night out, painting the town red ...so am really not worried about that bit :)!! Either way, coming back to the point...
I ask, "What did you boys do"...His answer, “Just hung out over drinks and a game of poker"...
I ask, "What did you guys talk"...His answer, "Nothing"...
I ask again, "How can you guys not talk about anything specific and just hang out...tell me na what did you guys talk"...His answer, "I don't remember"...
I become more assertive thereafter, "You don't tell me anything...why don't you tell me anything?!"...
His response “I have a ‘boy code’ to adhere to...don't ask me questions I shouldn't be answering or about things that don't involve me“...Now, apparently the ‘boy code’ has absolutely no scope for letting out filtered excerpts of 'boys night out' conversations...Whatever!! And then he continues, “Plus guys don't bond over constant chatter about random topics like you girls...we may be glued to our blackberries, drinking beer and watching a game ...without feeling the need to utter a word to each other and still bonding"...
I go into a thoughtful mode, "Really...how boring is that!! Life without unstreamlined, spontaneous conversations on random and often irrelevant
topics with girlfriends! Thank God I am not a guy :-)!”
Is it just me or do I have company here?!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tagged...
Garima tagged me to get my take on the 5ives :-)...and provided the much needed momentum to revive the blog after more than a months' hiatus...so thanks girl...
So here you go...
5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen:
1. Bruno : Crude,gross and offensive...not having watched Borat, was driven to the theatre out of sheer curiosity to check out what all the fuss was about...5 mins into the movie and I realized , I could never be a fan of the Baron "disgusting" Cohen kind of humor.
2. My Name is Khan : The ardent Shah Rukh Khan fan that I am, I generally pull D and whoever else is around and ready to be lured to one of the first shows of all his movies...this one was such a torture...the only
saving grace being the fact that we were with 10 other friends who felt equally, if not more tortured ;-), and just that fact and the laughs that we've had about the movie thereafter just made the movie watching ordeal so much more bearable :-)
3. Karzzzz : Yes , 'the Himes' bhai starrer with 4 zs...an absolute shitty remake of the Rishi Kapoor starrer that I love...now, don't ask me why I even ventured to watch the Karzzz with 4 zs :-)...I guess I was just dead bored and had nothing better to do...
4. All about Steve : An absolutely cheerless and unfunny rom-com...D refuses to hit the theatre with me for any supposed "rom coms" after this experience ...poor me !!
5. Saawariyaan : I can't have anything more to add than what the GreatBong already says in his review :-)...Movie was pathetic essentially...
5 places where you don't want to be seen dead at :
1. In my own kitchen, with a bowl of cooked Maggi noodles next to me :-)...I love Maggi...D believes Maggi is unhealthy, though he keeps hogging on a fair share of it himself, all the while trying to stop me from cooking and eating Maggi...I would hate to have him live with the nagging thought that I died of a Maggi overdose, though:-)
2. Any place which has one or more cats in the vicinity...Urggh ...the thought of dying among cats freaks me out!
3. In the middle of a golf course or even a driving range, while trying to learn golf...that would be embarrasing even in death, having so vehemently expressed my dislike for the game in an earlier post :-)
4. A shady club :-)...Decided to borrow this from Garima ...like she says, I don't really need to spell it out in words for folks to understand...what kind of club I am talking about...I really don't want adsense to start popping up family unfriendly ads on a family friendly blog :-)
5. On a more serious note, any place where I am alone...and not surrounded by people!!
5 accessories you can create out of food :
1. Strawberry earrings :
Split a strawberry in half and it could give you a pair of earrings perfect to go with a spring/summer dress :-)
2. Green peas and red thai chilli combo necklace :
Alternate green peas and thai red chillies could be stringed together to make a necklace...
3. Onion, Tomato,Lemon bangles :
Slice them up horizontally , scoop out the center pulp where applicable and you could end up with set of a churiyaans/bangles with the ingredients for a healthy sandwich/salad...I am not to be blamed for any form of breakage and foul smells:-)
4. Almond jewellery set :
Almonds when stringed together could make a good necklace/bracelet and even dangling earrings
5. Pumpkin decorations :
Carved and painted pumpkins make good decorative accessories :-).Since the tag says just accessories, I just decided to deviate slightly and move on to decorative accessories from dress accessories.
5 People you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere :
1. MCPs of course ...anytime, anywhere ...my heels are ready to beat up one of those!!
2. Cowards...people who can't stand up for friends, family and near/dear ones when needed and chicken out...they frustrate me to the point where I could easily be agitated enough to use my heels on them :-)
3. Judgmental people...people who form an opinion about another the first time they meet /talk and refuse to give the person the benefit of the doubt, no matter what happens over time !
4. Nosey people who care about and poke their heads into everyone else’s lives other than their own!
5. On a lighter note, my little brother...for all the karate and taekwondo kicks he practised on me when we were young...these would be friendly pats though...definitely not with my heels :-)
5 things you’d do to scare anybody :
Do I really need to think of 5 things in this category…I can think of just one as of now...
I, by myself, with loads of makeup...bloody red lipstick...tons of eyeliner and kajal...face covered with a pack...head covered in henna...emerging from behind a door under dim/candle light...that would be enough to scare anyone off...have already tried this one on D and he can vouch for the scary part of it...if only I can find the photograph he had taken and put it up here...that would compensate for my lack of creativity in coming up with the rest of the four I guess :-)
Update:15th April...Initially forgot the most important part of tagging fellow blogger friends :-(
Am gonna tag Rims and Rush ...others please feel free to pick up the tag, when you drop by the blog and read :-)
So here you go...
5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen:
1. Bruno : Crude,gross and offensive...not having watched Borat, was driven to the theatre out of sheer curiosity to check out what all the fuss was about...5 mins into the movie and I realized , I could never be a fan of the Baron "disgusting" Cohen kind of humor.
2. My Name is Khan : The ardent Shah Rukh Khan fan that I am, I generally pull D and whoever else is around and ready to be lured to one of the first shows of all his movies...this one was such a torture...the only
saving grace being the fact that we were with 10 other friends who felt equally, if not more tortured ;-), and just that fact and the laughs that we've had about the movie thereafter just made the movie watching ordeal so much more bearable :-)
3. Karzzzz : Yes , 'the Himes' bhai starrer with 4 zs...an absolute shitty remake of the Rishi Kapoor starrer that I love...now, don't ask me why I even ventured to watch the Karzzz with 4 zs :-)...I guess I was just dead bored and had nothing better to do...
4. All about Steve : An absolutely cheerless and unfunny rom-com...D refuses to hit the theatre with me for any supposed "rom coms" after this experience ...poor me !!
5. Saawariyaan : I can't have anything more to add than what the GreatBong already says in his review :-)...Movie was pathetic essentially...
5 places where you don't want to be seen dead at :
1. In my own kitchen, with a bowl of cooked Maggi noodles next to me :-)...I love Maggi...D believes Maggi is unhealthy, though he keeps hogging on a fair share of it himself, all the while trying to stop me from cooking and eating Maggi...I would hate to have him live with the nagging thought that I died of a Maggi overdose, though:-)
2. Any place which has one or more cats in the vicinity...Urggh ...the thought of dying among cats freaks me out!
3. In the middle of a golf course or even a driving range, while trying to learn golf...that would be embarrasing even in death, having so vehemently expressed my dislike for the game in an earlier post :-)
4. A shady club :-)...Decided to borrow this from Garima ...like she says, I don't really need to spell it out in words for folks to understand...what kind of club I am talking about...I really don't want adsense to start popping up family unfriendly ads on a family friendly blog :-)
5. On a more serious note, any place where I am alone...and not surrounded by people!!
5 accessories you can create out of food :
1. Strawberry earrings :
Split a strawberry in half and it could give you a pair of earrings perfect to go with a spring/summer dress :-)
2. Green peas and red thai chilli combo necklace :
Alternate green peas and thai red chillies could be stringed together to make a necklace...
3. Onion, Tomato,Lemon bangles :
Slice them up horizontally , scoop out the center pulp where applicable and you could end up with set of a churiyaans/bangles with the ingredients for a healthy sandwich/salad...I am not to be blamed for any form of breakage and foul smells:-)
4. Almond jewellery set :
Almonds when stringed together could make a good necklace/bracelet and even dangling earrings
5. Pumpkin decorations :
Carved and painted pumpkins make good decorative accessories :-).Since the tag says just accessories, I just decided to deviate slightly and move on to decorative accessories from dress accessories.
5 People you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere :
1. MCPs of course ...anytime, anywhere ...my heels are ready to beat up one of those!!
2. Cowards...people who can't stand up for friends, family and near/dear ones when needed and chicken out...they frustrate me to the point where I could easily be agitated enough to use my heels on them :-)
3. Judgmental people...people who form an opinion about another the first time they meet /talk and refuse to give the person the benefit of the doubt, no matter what happens over time !
4. Nosey people who care about and poke their heads into everyone else’s lives other than their own!
5. On a lighter note, my little brother...for all the karate and taekwondo kicks he practised on me when we were young...these would be friendly pats though...definitely not with my heels :-)
5 things you’d do to scare anybody :
Do I really need to think of 5 things in this category…I can think of just one as of now...
I, by myself, with loads of makeup...bloody red lipstick...tons of eyeliner and kajal...face covered with a pack...head covered in henna...emerging from behind a door under dim/candle light...that would be enough to scare anyone off...have already tried this one on D and he can vouch for the scary part of it...if only I can find the photograph he had taken and put it up here...that would compensate for my lack of creativity in coming up with the rest of the four I guess :-)
Update:15th April...Initially forgot the most important part of tagging fellow blogger friends :-(
Am gonna tag Rims and Rush ...others please feel free to pick up the tag, when you drop by the blog and read :-)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
All in the name of women empowerment...
If you ask me, what I think about the women's reservation bill passed in the Indian parliament today...three simple words describe my state of mind..."I feel insulted"...period...
Oh yeah...you are most welcome to shout out abuses at me for not supporting the cause of women in India...but the fact remains, I feel insulted...
Blame it all on having being born into a privileged family, where I have never been discriminated against because of my gender...a life in which, I have been taught to value and cherish education and the power of choice...I agree that I may just be missing the point...I may just be ignorant of how 'reservations' for different sections has helped the Indian society progress in the past...maybe some of you could throw more light on that...perhaps the bill is really a beacon all set to light the path for empowering Indian women in politics and other arenas...I really haven't bothered to understand the nitty /gritty details of the bill...and I absolutely realize that my opinion is clouded by my relatively privileged upbringing...but the fact remains that as a woman, I feel insulted...not empowered, now that it's been offcially stamped that women are the weaker sex in the country of my birth...
Personally I feel the need for reservations for any section of the society, gender based or otherwise, spells the failure of a system and the society, at large to faciliate the progress and development of that specific section of people...rarely, if at all, does it empower the system and its people...
So far, in life, whatever major decisions I have taken, are the outcomes of choices that I have made...what I want to study, where I want to live, whom I want to marry, what I want to do with life in general...and whatever I have achieved or not achieved, in life, is because of my merits and demerits and the choices that I have made...not because of favors and disfavors that have been meted out to me...what makes me feel empowered is being given those life choices and being held accountable for them...
What Indian women need is the power that comes with education , the opportunity of making educated choices and being given the respect for a choice that's been consciously made...'respect for a choice that's been consciously made' is particularly important here...
Given the choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it, not stereotyped...
Given a choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it, not reprimanded for being over ambitious...
Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it and allowed to do so on her merit...
Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it and not looked down upon based on some preconceived, stereotypical notion of lack of merit...
Given a choice between bearing and rearing a child out of wedlock and letting go, if a woman chooses the former...she should be respected for her courage to singlehandedly bring up a child, not accused of irresponsibilty without being given a chance to prove otherwise...
Any self respecting person, be it a man or a woman, will tell you that there is no greater inspiration, motivation and feeling of euphoria than that which is achieved based on one's merit, intelligence, smartness and hardwork...that's an indisputable fact...any person who has reached the pinnacle of success in an arena of work or society, and has been favored by some form of reservation to do so, can never feel or be equal to someone who has done so solely on merit...be it a man or a woman...there is nothing more to it...so where does the illusion of 'empowerment' really come from ??!!! I don't have an answer...perhaps you do?
Oh yeah...you are most welcome to shout out abuses at me for not supporting the cause of women in India...but the fact remains, I feel insulted...
Blame it all on having being born into a privileged family, where I have never been discriminated against because of my gender...a life in which, I have been taught to value and cherish education and the power of choice...I agree that I may just be missing the point...I may just be ignorant of how 'reservations' for different sections has helped the Indian society progress in the past...maybe some of you could throw more light on that...perhaps the bill is really a beacon all set to light the path for empowering Indian women in politics and other arenas...I really haven't bothered to understand the nitty /gritty details of the bill...and I absolutely realize that my opinion is clouded by my relatively privileged upbringing...but the fact remains that as a woman, I feel insulted...not empowered, now that it's been offcially stamped that women are the weaker sex in the country of my birth...
Personally I feel the need for reservations for any section of the society, gender based or otherwise, spells the failure of a system and the society, at large to faciliate the progress and development of that specific section of people...rarely, if at all, does it empower the system and its people...
So far, in life, whatever major decisions I have taken, are the outcomes of choices that I have made...what I want to study, where I want to live, whom I want to marry, what I want to do with life in general...and whatever I have achieved or not achieved, in life, is because of my merits and demerits and the choices that I have made...not because of favors and disfavors that have been meted out to me...what makes me feel empowered is being given those life choices and being held accountable for them...
What Indian women need is the power that comes with education , the opportunity of making educated choices and being given the respect for a choice that's been consciously made...'respect for a choice that's been consciously made' is particularly important here...
Given the choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it, not stereotyped...
Given a choice between pursuing extraordinary career options and being a housewife, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it, not reprimanded for being over ambitious...
Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the latter...She should be respected for it and allowed to do so on her merit...
Given a choice between studying the arts and sciences, if a woman chooses the former...She should be respected for it and not looked down upon based on some preconceived, stereotypical notion of lack of merit...
Given a choice between bearing and rearing a child out of wedlock and letting go, if a woman chooses the former...she should be respected for her courage to singlehandedly bring up a child, not accused of irresponsibilty without being given a chance to prove otherwise...
Any self respecting person, be it a man or a woman, will tell you that there is no greater inspiration, motivation and feeling of euphoria than that which is achieved based on one's merit, intelligence, smartness and hardwork...that's an indisputable fact...any person who has reached the pinnacle of success in an arena of work or society, and has been favored by some form of reservation to do so, can never feel or be equal to someone who has done so solely on merit...be it a man or a woman...there is nothing more to it...so where does the illusion of 'empowerment' really come from ??!!! I don't have an answer...perhaps you do?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I have to confess today to having had a short fling with ...
the game of cricket long, long ago ...
My infatuation with the game was triggered by one very close India-Australia match in the Reliance Cricket World Cup ...it was the match in which India needed two runs to win off the last two balls of the game...we were down to the last wicket...Maninder Singh was batting...Kiran More was at the non-striker's end...Steve Waugh was the bowler, if I remember correct...we were all at home, our eyes glued to the TV set, all of us being our absolute 'cricket' superstitious selves...mom, who had absolutley no idea about cricket was forced to sit with us and watch the game, whole day long, just because her being around the tv had brought India luck in one of the earlier games, or so we liked to believe :-)...you know how crazy Indians tend to become when talking and watching cricket...the 5th ball of the last over of the match was bowled by Waugh...the ball briskly spun over the pitch knocking the bails off the wickets...Singh was back to the pavilion...India lost the match by one run with one ball to spare...but at the end of it all, I was hooked to cricket...
Thereafter I passionately followed every one day international and test match played across the globe...cheered and celebrated India's wins...mourned India's losses...and was absolutely in love with the game,or so I thought...but perhaps it was just an illusion, after all...cause my infatuation with cricket ended just as abruptly, as it had started ...
It was the Wills Trophy final between India and Pakistan in Sharjah...Aaquib Javed's hatrick...Sachin Tendulkar sent back to the pavilion for a golden duck...Pakistan going on to win the trophy...I was absolutely devastated...so much so that it spelled the beginning of the end of my love for the game ...of course, not to deny being further disillusioned by all the controversies and charges surrounding some of the players I had hero worshipped , Azhar and Cronje to name a few, in the years that followed...
That was then, more than a decade back...since then there have been a lot of players who have entered and left the cricketing arena...some have left in glory...some in shame...records have been set and broken...one day internationals have given way to the more exciting and adrenaline pumping 20-20 form of the game and to add to it is the almost inexplicable IPL frenzy...honestly speaking. I haven't really put an effort to keep myself up to date with what's happening in this sport, that I once loved... all that I have been keeping myself updated with is silly gossip that keeps doing the media rounds...who the new handsome hunks in the game are...which cricketer is dating whom...which cricketer has ditched whom and all such BS...sad and shameful, but true nevertheles...
Today though, as I read the headlines about Sachin Tendulkar's record setting double century in Gwalior and subsequently watched the highlights of the game, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of euphoria,hope,admiration, inspiration and pride...22 years of life dedicated to a sport and through all the ups and downs, still going strong ,more or less untainted by major controversies...a historical moment in world cricket...a moment of glory for the Indian sports world...a moment that managed to momentarily rekindle a small flame of the love and passion for the game of cricket that I had once nurtured...a moment that made me bow down in respect and admiration for the Master Blaster, Sachin Tendulkar...the messiah of the only 'true' religion in the country of my birth !!! Here's a toast to 22 years of his glorious cricketing career ...
My infatuation with the game was triggered by one very close India-Australia match in the Reliance Cricket World Cup ...it was the match in which India needed two runs to win off the last two balls of the game...we were down to the last wicket...Maninder Singh was batting...Kiran More was at the non-striker's end...Steve Waugh was the bowler, if I remember correct...we were all at home, our eyes glued to the TV set, all of us being our absolute 'cricket' superstitious selves...mom, who had absolutley no idea about cricket was forced to sit with us and watch the game, whole day long, just because her being around the tv had brought India luck in one of the earlier games, or so we liked to believe :-)...you know how crazy Indians tend to become when talking and watching cricket...the 5th ball of the last over of the match was bowled by Waugh...the ball briskly spun over the pitch knocking the bails off the wickets...Singh was back to the pavilion...India lost the match by one run with one ball to spare...but at the end of it all, I was hooked to cricket...
Thereafter I passionately followed every one day international and test match played across the globe...cheered and celebrated India's wins...mourned India's losses...and was absolutely in love with the game,or so I thought...but perhaps it was just an illusion, after all...cause my infatuation with cricket ended just as abruptly, as it had started ...
It was the Wills Trophy final between India and Pakistan in Sharjah...Aaquib Javed's hatrick...Sachin Tendulkar sent back to the pavilion for a golden duck...Pakistan going on to win the trophy...I was absolutely devastated...so much so that it spelled the beginning of the end of my love for the game ...of course, not to deny being further disillusioned by all the controversies and charges surrounding some of the players I had hero worshipped , Azhar and Cronje to name a few, in the years that followed...
That was then, more than a decade back...since then there have been a lot of players who have entered and left the cricketing arena...some have left in glory...some in shame...records have been set and broken...one day internationals have given way to the more exciting and adrenaline pumping 20-20 form of the game and to add to it is the almost inexplicable IPL frenzy...honestly speaking. I haven't really put an effort to keep myself up to date with what's happening in this sport, that I once loved... all that I have been keeping myself updated with is silly gossip that keeps doing the media rounds...who the new handsome hunks in the game are...which cricketer is dating whom...which cricketer has ditched whom and all such BS...sad and shameful, but true nevertheles...
Today though, as I read the headlines about Sachin Tendulkar's record setting double century in Gwalior and subsequently watched the highlights of the game, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of euphoria,hope,admiration, inspiration and pride...22 years of life dedicated to a sport and through all the ups and downs, still going strong ,more or less untainted by major controversies...a historical moment in world cricket...a moment of glory for the Indian sports world...a moment that managed to momentarily rekindle a small flame of the love and passion for the game of cricket that I had once nurtured...a moment that made me bow down in respect and admiration for the Master Blaster, Sachin Tendulkar...the messiah of the only 'true' religion in the country of my birth !!! Here's a toast to 22 years of his glorious cricketing career ...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Random musings...
My posts have become few and far between in the past months...it's not for the dearth of things to write about though... it's just that words don't seem to come very easily to me anymore...so here I am, trying to get back into the groove of writing again :-)
It's been a cold, cold winter for all of us living in the Washington, DC region...snow, snow and more snow :-)...total snow accumulation in the two and half months of winter we've seen so far is supposed to be more than 60 odd inches...apparently more than what upstate New York and Boston put together have seen this season...and to think of it, winter hasn't ended yet...As I looked out of the window this morning , I was elated to see the sun shining down in the area after a really long, long time...this, after I have proclaimed my undying love for snow many a time earlier :-)!!!
The first flurries and showers of snow every winter always give me a big , big ‘rush’ ;-)…the white snow covered grounds, rooftops and the flora glistening in the moonlight add a fairy tailish zing to life and it’s that time of the year when I can just spend hours staring out of the window ,feeling completely in sync with William Henry Davies eloquent words on life...”What is this world , if not full of care…we have no time to stand and stare”...
It’s the aftermath of a snow storm that is difficult to deal with and tends to make me weary...specially with all the “cares” of the real world notoriously glaring down at us...shoveling the driveway, uncanny fears of the roof caving in or the deck collapsing under the weight of pounds of snow transformed to ice, hazards of driving to work and ‘n’ other , often unnecessary ,worries (not that I need any specific reason to get stressed about :-))...and when you have two back to back huge snow storms in an area , not used to being pounded by extensive snow storms, it just makes dealing with the aftermath all the more worse...
Thanks to some lovely friends and neighbors, D and I spent both snow storms, snowed in but partying in the company of some lovely people...
The snow storm over the Super bowl weekend was particularly memorable, less for the havoc it created and more for the fun all of us had...the initial plan was to have an informal get together at home on Super bowl Sunday, watching the game with some friends...but then with the weather forecast turning very gloomy for the weekend, with heavy snow fall predicted on both Friday and Saturday, D decided to turn the weekend into an impromptu ‘Super bowl shoveling’ party...so all weekend we were ten of us at home, making merry ,chit chatting, drinking , eating delicious home cooked food (everyone was an expert on one form of cuisine or another...so we had these whole variety of dishes laid out over the weekend), playing poker and board games, reveling in good music ,hogging on hookah and of course shoveling( we sure had to stick to the theme of the weekend party :-))...so now gambling, in the form of poker, has been added to my ever growing list of vices...nothing to be proud about, I agree...but I believe in living life to the fullest, while I still can:)...anyways, the Super bowl weekend ended on a high note with my team, the New Orleans Saints winning ...not that all of a sudden I love football any more than I used to (all of you have heard me cribbing enough about how neglected I feel due to D’s overwhelming love for the sport :-)), but in the spirit of the Superbowl party and the beautiful town of New Orleans, I was supporting the underdog...and so was happy seeing the Saints win!
Speaking of poker, after winning my first big hand this past weekend, I think I am just getting more addicted to it...it was funny how the guys would hold back on betting each time one of us, girls, bet aggressively...apparently girls are known to be conservative gamblers...and hence whenever they bet aggressively, it’s supposed to indicate they have really, really good cards in hand...talk about
stereotyping:-)!! Folks better be prepared for a fair share of surprises from us girls, on the poker table, in the months to come...
What else...watched "My Name is Khan"...movie totally sucked...Karan Johar should definitely stop trying to be different...and inspite of all my love for SRK, I was left totally disappointed...I had somehow managed to garner enough support to lure folks to the theatre for “Kurbaan”...most of my friends hated the movie...folks were lured in for ‘MNIK’ again, fortunately I was not the initiator of the plan this time...and folks hated ‘MNIK’ more than ‘Kurbaan’...this means I surely have to come up with some innovative bait to lure people to the theatre for the next Hindi flick I want to watch...so called four/five star reviews by Times of India and Rediff will definitely not do the trick next time around :-)
Some gloomy news as well...talks of more friends moving out of the area, taking cue from some dear friends who already moved out last year to make new beginnings in new places...that’s always depressing...it’s so difficult to find people with whom wavelengths match...and when you do find some, you really don’t want to let go...but then that’s what life is about, I guess...it’s never stagnant...people move on...you make new beginnings and life goes on, as one continues strengthening bonds and making memories with old friends and new...
The good news is that my brother is moving to New York City in a couple of weeks...so am really excited about that...I really have missed having family nearby...
So that’s about it really...no life changing events in the past month...just some memorable, snowy times...yes times and memories that make me sit back and smile, whenever life is not too full of ‘care’ and I have the time to stand and stare...
It's been a cold, cold winter for all of us living in the Washington, DC region...snow, snow and more snow :-)...total snow accumulation in the two and half months of winter we've seen so far is supposed to be more than 60 odd inches...apparently more than what upstate New York and Boston put together have seen this season...and to think of it, winter hasn't ended yet...As I looked out of the window this morning , I was elated to see the sun shining down in the area after a really long, long time...this, after I have proclaimed my undying love for snow many a time earlier :-)!!!
The first flurries and showers of snow every winter always give me a big , big ‘rush’ ;-)…the white snow covered grounds, rooftops and the flora glistening in the moonlight add a fairy tailish zing to life and it’s that time of the year when I can just spend hours staring out of the window ,feeling completely in sync with William Henry Davies eloquent words on life...”What is this world , if not full of care…we have no time to stand and stare”...
It’s the aftermath of a snow storm that is difficult to deal with and tends to make me weary...specially with all the “cares” of the real world notoriously glaring down at us...shoveling the driveway, uncanny fears of the roof caving in or the deck collapsing under the weight of pounds of snow transformed to ice, hazards of driving to work and ‘n’ other , often unnecessary ,worries (not that I need any specific reason to get stressed about :-))...and when you have two back to back huge snow storms in an area , not used to being pounded by extensive snow storms, it just makes dealing with the aftermath all the more worse...
Thanks to some lovely friends and neighbors, D and I spent both snow storms, snowed in but partying in the company of some lovely people...
The snow storm over the Super bowl weekend was particularly memorable, less for the havoc it created and more for the fun all of us had...the initial plan was to have an informal get together at home on Super bowl Sunday, watching the game with some friends...but then with the weather forecast turning very gloomy for the weekend, with heavy snow fall predicted on both Friday and Saturday, D decided to turn the weekend into an impromptu ‘Super bowl shoveling’ party...so all weekend we were ten of us at home, making merry ,chit chatting, drinking , eating delicious home cooked food (everyone was an expert on one form of cuisine or another...so we had these whole variety of dishes laid out over the weekend), playing poker and board games, reveling in good music ,hogging on hookah and of course shoveling( we sure had to stick to the theme of the weekend party :-))...so now gambling, in the form of poker, has been added to my ever growing list of vices...nothing to be proud about, I agree...but I believe in living life to the fullest, while I still can:)...anyways, the Super bowl weekend ended on a high note with my team, the New Orleans Saints winning ...not that all of a sudden I love football any more than I used to (all of you have heard me cribbing enough about how neglected I feel due to D’s overwhelming love for the sport :-)), but in the spirit of the Superbowl party and the beautiful town of New Orleans, I was supporting the underdog...and so was happy seeing the Saints win!
Speaking of poker, after winning my first big hand this past weekend, I think I am just getting more addicted to it...it was funny how the guys would hold back on betting each time one of us, girls, bet aggressively...apparently girls are known to be conservative gamblers...and hence whenever they bet aggressively, it’s supposed to indicate they have really, really good cards in hand...talk about
stereotyping:-)!! Folks better be prepared for a fair share of surprises from us girls, on the poker table, in the months to come...
What else...watched "My Name is Khan"...movie totally sucked...Karan Johar should definitely stop trying to be different...and inspite of all my love for SRK, I was left totally disappointed...I had somehow managed to garner enough support to lure folks to the theatre for “Kurbaan”...most of my friends hated the movie...folks were lured in for ‘MNIK’ again, fortunately I was not the initiator of the plan this time...and folks hated ‘MNIK’ more than ‘Kurbaan’...this means I surely have to come up with some innovative bait to lure people to the theatre for the next Hindi flick I want to watch...so called four/five star reviews by Times of India and Rediff will definitely not do the trick next time around :-)
Some gloomy news as well...talks of more friends moving out of the area, taking cue from some dear friends who already moved out last year to make new beginnings in new places...that’s always depressing...it’s so difficult to find people with whom wavelengths match...and when you do find some, you really don’t want to let go...but then that’s what life is about, I guess...it’s never stagnant...people move on...you make new beginnings and life goes on, as one continues strengthening bonds and making memories with old friends and new...
The good news is that my brother is moving to New York City in a couple of weeks...so am really excited about that...I really have missed having family nearby...
So that’s about it really...no life changing events in the past month...just some memorable, snowy times...yes times and memories that make me sit back and smile, whenever life is not too full of ‘care’ and I have the time to stand and stare...
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