The old...the new...and what is yet to be...

We just got back from a short, but rejuvenating vacation to India...two and a half weeks...family, friends, food, fun...3 cities(Bangalore, Guwahati, Kolkata) and my most favorite place in the world, the small picturesque town of Shillong, in Meghalaya,...all of them together providing a glimpse into the essence of India...the old...the new...the dream and vision of what is yet to be!

It was Raya's 2nd trip to India. As I sit here penning this down and look back at the last two and a half weeks, I am quite amazed at how easily she adapted to the change of scene. Other than loving the fact that she could take in the sights and scenes of the places, we were visiting, without being strapped and confined to a car seat, I think she was too  excited and immersed in basking in the love and affection showered by family and friends, to even realize the existence of the few things (the mosquitoes hovering around ready to pinch with stinging bites, the dusty roads, the bumper to bumper traffic etc) that would have irritated and agitated her to no end, had she been anywhere else in the world, where she was not surrounded by folks she loved.

We flew into Bangalore to visit my brother, 'Ash'. I absolutely love the vibes of that city, brimming with a relatively young, diverse, professional crowd where conversation flows, music heals and you generally feel alive. I don't know whether it was the effect of the intermittent skype sessions or just
the result of  a connection she immediately felt, but fortunately it didn't take Raya too long to bond with my brother, cousin and niece. So that felt good, given that we had just two days to spend in Bangalore with Ash. We also spent some time at this awesome venture and venue spun off by Ash and a couple of his friends, called 'The Warehouse'...a one stop entertainment venue for live music lovers, pub goers and dance fanatics, replete with live bands, a dance floor and a lovely lounge/bar. Brilliant vibes and atmosphere there. So definitely worth a visit when you are in Bangalore next. And of course, fingers crossed for my little brother! We also got a chance to spend some time with some of our dear friends from school and college. With them, we always have been able to start off exactly from where we left, and it always leaves me wondering how in the world does it always, always feel that we had never left!!  So that was awesome!

Guwahati was basically 'family and friends' time. Raya got to spend some quality time with her grandparents and the rest of the loving, extended family. Needless to say, she comes back royally pampered and spoilt! Oh well, that's quite alright I suppose, specially when I realize, we literally spent every day of our childhood, being pampered and spoilt by our grandparents in big ways and small. In addition to spending time with family, 'D' and I spent some wonderful time with a couple of our school friends. I always cherish these get togethers with old friends, with whom you can literally start off from where you had left off...re-living good times...reminiscing and laughing at the 'quirks' each one of us had and continue to have or have developed, over the years...or just getting immersed in nostalgia ...all this, without ever having to feel conscious, apologetic or arrogant about the 'good' and 'not so good' changes that life has brought on over the years! Good times and beautiful memories, for sure. Other than that, we hogged on delicious home cooked food, hung out at what remains of our favorite eat-outs, since school and college days...checked out some of the new 'hot and happening' entertainment/restaurant and retail/shopping venues in the city...just sat for hours in the terrace garden at my parents' home, re-living childhood memories...enjoying the beautiful view of the sun setting over the sprawling city, that was once my only 'home'...at times revelling, and at other times mourning the changes that Guwahati has seen in the name of development...

And then Shillong, the picturesque little hill station in the State of Meghalaya, the 'land of clouds'. In the past three and a half decades I have lived in different places/locations in the world at different points of time...11 years in Shillong, 7 years in Guwahati, 4 years in Trichy, 2 years in Bangalore, 1 year in Bruge and Eindhoven, 10 years and counting in the Washington, DC area. However whenever
someone asks me, where I have felt and feel most 'alive'...among all these places, if I were to pick just one and call it 'home', which one would it be?...invariably the answer is always Shillong. I can't pin-point what it is about this small town that makes me call it 'mine' and gives me this inherent sense of belonging, despite not being able to visit it as often as I would like to. But that's the way it just is!
Despite all the changes that concrete buildings and 'development', so to say, has brought to this small town, metaphorically called 'the Scotland of the east', Shillong is where I have always felt and feel the most alive! It was unfortunately a very short trip to Shillong, nevertheless I did manage to show Raya all the places that I tell her bed-time stories about...the home on the hill side, we lived in when I was her age, where I have some lovely memories of family gatherings replete with our albino alsatian, Raja...the schools I went to when I was her age and a bit older...the beautiful lake Umiam in Barapaani...feeding the fish at the Ward's lake...the undulating terrain...indo-Chinese food...and a lot, lot more, that only being in Shillong can make you see, believe and feel!

We just got to spend a day in Kolkata and the short stay was mostly about revelling in the blend of the old and new in the legendary Park Street...yellow ambassador cabs driving alongside the Audis and the Bimmers...the cigarette smoking Bong 'bhadralok' ...the most delicious road-side 'poochcas'(paani pooris)...dinner at Peter Cat and Trinca's, with live music...coffee and dessert in Flury's...mannequins adorned with  beautiful 'taat' saries...holiday lighting that gives you that 'only in Kolkata' feel...road side book stalls, that bait you with bootlegged copies of all the books you want to read and own...catching up with D's family...

While Raya did not shed tears at the airport in India and  bid good bye to her grandparents with  "See you soon" and "See you Saturday", when we entered home in Virginia yesterday evening, my little one literally cried herself to sleep. It was not one of her usual tantrums that stems from her agitation when we don't give her something 'material' she wants. It was a pleading wail to take her back to India...to her grandparents and extended family! She cried herself to sleep with repeated wails of "Let's go back to India, mama"..."I want to go to Ma and Koka"..."I want Ata"..."I want to go to Ma, Koka and Ash mamu"..."I want Ma/Koka to come here"..."I want Ata  to come here"...I really was at a loss and didn't know how to console her! Needless to say, I was relieved when she finally dozed off. I was however apprehensive about what the morning would bring. Raya woke up this morning, seemingly reconciled to the fact that we are back to the grind and to where we currently belong. It was almost as if, she was making an attempt to get back to her "Virginia" routine...she asked for her "usual" Nutella sandwich...wanted to brush her teeth a specific way...wanted "baba" and "mama" to do their usual morning chores in the specific order she was used to...it was almost as if she was trying to find sanity in the routine...it made me feel relieved and sad, at the same time:(

So yes, that was what constituted the last 2.5 weeks of December, 2014 for us, in India...bonding with family and friends...3 cities and 1 town...the old... the new...and dreams of what is yet to be and seen  by Raya's generation of kiddos!

Happy New Year folks!!Wishing everyone love, laughter, health and happiness this coming year!

Leaving you with these gorgeous pics of the sun setting over the sprawling city of Guwahati!

Of rights, voices and our children...

Yesterday I was just watching a rerun of the episode of the Daily Show where Jon Stewart is in conversation with the 16 year old Malala Yousafsai, the youngest nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize ever , someone who was deemed the most favored to win the prize this year before the actual announcement came in. More important than that though, at this point of time she is the face and voice of millions of girls worldwide, clamoring for the basic right to education for girls in civil war ravaged countries and others.

Peace has been anything but ubiquitous in the world this past year. But it's reassuring to see that the voice of one child, speaking and acting for millions of others, has the ability to make the world stop and relook at some of the most basic human rights violations in different parts of the world.

 One of first things Malala mentioned to Jon in her conversation with him was how it feels when something you value (for her,it was education) is snatched away from you. How that pushed her to be an outspoken activist(with support from her father), clamoring for the basic right to education for girls in her native Swat valley in Pakistan. We ofcourse all know what her journey has been like since that first word of rebellion was raised. So kudos indeed to this little girl!

That aside, being the parent of a girl child, her statement got me really thinking . 

As parents, we always wish and strive towards providing the best of everything for our children. We hope that they will grow up
to become well rounded human beings. We intend to add to the world a compassionate, kind, intelligent, empathetic, courageous, independent and socially aware human being! Intentions and hopes, as parents, of course, are clear!

How do we really, ensure, though that our children don't suffer in silence when a fundamental right is violated ( theirs or someone else's)?!

How do we really ensure that,in dire circumstances, they will know how to differentiate between the 'basic' / 'fundamental' and the 'superfluous' and make the correct choices?!

How do we ensure that we are not bringing up a child who is oblivious to the needs of the people in their vicinity and the rest of the world?!

We ourselves take most of the basic rights, that a lot of people around the world have to fight for - food,lodging,education and even speech and mobility very much for granted,

The kind and type of food we eat is  based on choices we make given a proliferation of options.

The kind and type of place and home we live in is a choice we make given a proliferation of options.

The kind and type of education we seek is a choice we make given a proliferation of options.

So on and so forth...

As parents, D and I are learning ways to inculcate patience in our little girl. Through words, action and example, we try our best to nurture her inherent compassion that we believe every child is born with. As time goes by, we will work hard to figure out ways to teach her the value of money, the pitfalls of instant gratification, the importance of humility...so on and so forth.

However we, as parents, will always struggle in figuring out how one teaches a child, in today's developed world, the difference
between 'the basic' and 'the superfluous', as the boundaries between these two abstract concepts keep shifting with time and space.

As I attempt to provide my little girl with life's very best, I often wonder if I am really doing the best I can to enable her to let go of the superfluous when the need arises...I often wonder if I am really doing the best I can to help her have a voice of her own. Am I doing the best I can to sow the seeds of confidence in her so that whenever she faces a situation where she has the choice of speaking up vs suffering in silence, she has the courage to stand up and clamor for her own rights and for the rights of others, in big ways and small...so that she grows up with the belief that her voice will be heard and has value, when she speaks from her heart!

Yes, I wonder...and wait for time to tell!

 

"My's" is the new buzzword...

...in the Das household. In case you are wondering what "My's" is, let me explain. It sounds like "Mize", means "Mine" and it's "the word"  Raya has begun to use these last few days to assert that something belongs to her.

It's amazing to observe how a child's cognitive, verbal communication skills evolve and the challenges that we, as parents, have to face to make sure that we are able to nurture the inherent goodness,resilience and curiosity that each kid is born with.

So a couple of months back, Raya started becoming aware of the fact that she was a separate 'entity' (I am not particularly fond of using this word in the human context, but oh well no other synonymous word immediately comes to mind) from her 'Mamma', 'Baba' and the rest of the world.

She began saying stuff like, "Raya cup" or just pointing to an object that she believed belonged  to her and saying "Raya's". Similarly she would point to my purse or something that she believed belonged to me and go "Mamma bag" or just say "Mamma's"...point to 'D's car and say "Baba caw" or "Baba's"...point to her grandmom's sandals and say, "Ata's"...point to a pen being used by her teachers (she absolutely adores them) at day care and say "Holly's /Ms Holly's" or "Kiki's/Ms Kiki's"...essentially she had begun associating material objects with people and talking in the third person.

These last few days though, instead of using "Raya's" to assert that something belongs to her and thus implicitly indicating that everyone else should keep their hands off it, she has started saying "My's" and "You's" , the "My's" being more proliferant than the "You's" ,of course...LOL. Funny as it sounds , it is probably her first attempt to comprehend and speak in the first person. That aside, the proliferant use of "My's" has meant repeated urges and prep talks by 'D' and me, to make her understand the importance of sharing. Needless to say , it's a challenge to make a toddler understand that everything in the world doesn't belong to her or work like she wants it to. Inculcating the notion of sharing and patience in a toddler is a challenge, but I personally feel, it's one of the most important aspects of parenting...more so because these notions sow the seeds of feeling empathy and compassion for others, as the child grows into an adult. Of course nature and a child's inherent personality is one of the things that determines what a child grows up to be. But the least we can do, as parents, is to try and  nurture their inherent goodness to the best of our ability.

So yesterday so we had a couple of friends visiting us with their kiddos. Before they came in, I sat Raya down and gave her a prep talk,"Raya...we all know that these are your toys. But you have friends visiting , so you will have  to share all your toys with them ok". I repeated the sentence one more time to make sure I had all her attention. She first said,'Yeah, mamma'...and then followed it with,'Yeah, mamma...share'...the first part of my day's mission of teaching Raya to share having been accomplished, I waited to see how the evening would unfold. I should say she did reasonably well. I have observed a prep talk more often than not does it's magic. There are some days more difficlut than others though when tantrums seem to rule the day. Yesterday evening, the number of "My's" reaching my ears were
minimal and the other kids were playing with her toys without much intervention while she played along with them or by their side. But of course, that was yesterday. Today is a different day and with a toddler in the home, every day comes with it's own set of challenges.

On a slightly different note, here are some snippets of recent conversations in Raya'ingo' in our houshold that I wanted to pen down before
they get pushed to the  abyss of my mind to become distant memories:

Scene 1:
I ask Raya : "What is your name?"

Raya replies : Raya ("Yaya" has finally become "Raya" now)

I ask her again : "What is your full name?"

Raya replies (after considerable thought) : Raya Das

I ask Raya : "What is mamma's name?"

Raya replies : Mamma Das (This came spontaneously and brought  oodles of laughter from me before I could  proceed with any further questions)

I ask Raya : "What is baba's name?"

Raya replies : Baba Das...

I ask Raya : "What is Aata's name?" (She calls her paternal grandmom Aata)

Raya replies : Aata Das...

I ask Raya : "What is koka's name?" (She calls her maternal granddad koka)

Raya replies : Papa (I guess that comes from the fact that I call him papa:))


I ask Raya : "What is ma's name?" (She calls her maternal grandmom ma)

Raya: No response

I prompt her : Dehu

Raya echoes : Diu

Scene 2:

After the above conversation, 'D' took it on himself to teach Raya what our actual names are and he did a reasonably good job of it I should say.
So now, conversations like the above progress as follows:

I ask Raya : "What is mamma's name?"

Raya replies : Panka

I ask Raya : "What is baba's name?"

Raya replies : DD

I ask Raya : "What is baba's full name?"

Raya replies : D'paanan Das (This answer comes back only if she's in the
right mood:) )

I ask Raya : "What is Ata's name?"
Raya replies  : KD (That's what she has been taught, her grandmom's name being "Kalyani Das' :) )

I ask Raya : "What is koka's name?"

Raya replies : Papa

I ask Raya : "What is ma's name?"

Raya replies : Diu

Scene 3:

'D' and I are having an animated conversation and we are laughing at something silly I did. 'D' playfully slaps my back. Raya absolutely doesn't like it and pop comes her angry reaction aimed at 'D' and she says, "Baba...Baba...Mamma,Boo Boo...Huggie...Kiss", pointing at me...when DD gave me a peck on the cheek in response to her urge, it brought the biggest grin to her face...LOL

Scene 4:

Our landline rings, she points to the phone and says, "Phone...Ma...Koka". She calls her maternal grandparents "ma" and "koka" respectively and believes that they have proprietary rights to call on the landline. If anyone else does, she is not a happy baby :)

Scene 5:

Right or wrong, I have my own bag full of tricks to get hudddles, cuddles, hugs and kisses from my munchkin. So last Saturday, I was skyping with my parents. I was sitting cross legged on the floor and Raya was holding on to my shoulders and trying to stand on my legs. I was like, "Raya...mamma is getting hurt"...When saying that a couple of times didn't help, I pretented to cry and said, "Raya...mamma..boo boo"..."Raya...mamma..boo boo"... I immediately got a big bear hug from my munchkin accompanied with , "Mamma...huggie...mamma huggie"..."Mamma...no cry"..."Mamma...no cry"....It's a different thing that I could cry all day to get that hug and hear that version of "Mamma...no cry"...LOL...

Her current favorite Bollywood numbers are Mika Singh's , "Mere Agal Bagal"... "Kashmir se Kanyakumari" and D's all time favorite "Om Shanti Om" from Karz...She even attempts to sing along with these too...and her current favorite nursery rhymes are what she calls, "Eee..Wee...Spyder" (Incy Wincy Spider) and "Ol..Ga...gaas" (Old Mac Donald). Other than that, in Raya'ingo', 'butterfly' is 'bug fly'...'remote' is 'motot'...'medicine' is 'mecidine'...'swimming pool' is 'swinging pool' ...so on and so forth :)

So that's that. Raya will turn two in a couple of weeks. It's an exciting and challenging phase of parenting. It's also a very important phase of Raya's as well as our lives,as parents, as she begins to learn the ways of the world and take baby steps towards becoming more and more independent. Bitter...sweet...it is, this feeling of your baby growing up.

But for now, "My's" is the buzzword in our home and "Sharing" is the mantra ruling our lives.

Explore...Dream...Discover...

12 days...three countries...bustling European cities...quaint Bavarian towns...beautiful alpine villages...fairytale castles...historic fort towns...mesmerising landscapes...the mecca of driving...the land of the "Sound of Music"...the golden city of spires...barrels of beer...beer brewing monasteries...white sausage...goulash...apple struddel...schneeballens...mozart balls...salzburg knockerels...quaint,local bed and breakfasts...luxurious castle hotels...a man's dream...a woman's passion...a baby's patience...the ultimate driving machine...a journey to cherish...the joy of living...

So Raya, 'D' and I just got back from a 12 day road trip through the Bavarian region of Germany, the alpine region of Austria and the bohemian city of Prague, a city where, someone so rightly said,
"the unconventional is conventional"...

D is the ultimate car and driving enthusiast and had always nurtured the dream of revving it up on the autobahn and exploring Europe in his very own car(preferably his very own version of the ultimate driving machine)...He is also a travel enthusiast and foodie...Personally, I am not much of a car person :)...I am happy with any car that takes me safely from point A to B...I am, however, an equally, if not more, avid and passionate travel enthusiast and foodie...the opportunity to visit new places, mingle among locals, explore different cultures, food, drinks, return home with a feeling that there's so much more out there to discover, and then dream of the next stop...this just has a way of adding zest to my life like nothing else does...Given this, and the fact that D's "dhanno"(current car) has almost run past her prime, the fact that by
God's grace we were in a position to dream of buying a new car of choice( who knows when that may change given life 's vissiccitudes) and of course, the fact that our last couple of vacations, since Raya's birth,  had been beach vacations and one back home to India, we realized the time was right to put on our travelling pants and get set to fulfill D's long time dream of revving it up on the autobahn in his very own ultimate driving machine...to experience the charm of driving through the "alpine strass" of Germany and Austria,and feel the pulse of the "silnice" of the Czech republic.

Of course, this time we could not afford to be carefree travellers,like we were in the past...there was an apprehension about whether we would actually be able to sail through such an ambitious  2 week roadtrip with our 20 month old Raya...The challenges of travelling with a 20 month old baby are numerous...Preceding the trip, one day I woke up with a nightmare of losing Raya in a crowd of tourists...that triggerred a prompt purchase of a child locator device from Amazon, something we didn't end up using much , but will probably still prove useful when travelling in the future...I compiled lists of hospitals, pediatricians,emergency care centres at each destination...this time I did not have the luxury of stuffing our luggage with multiple pairs of beloved shoes or bags:( ...the aim was to minimize 'D' and my stuff in the luggage while, of course, priority was given to little Raya's clothes, diapers, comfort food, books and toys...we also planned to restrict travel/drive time to 2~3 hours at a stretch...the longest drive was from Konigsee, in Germany to Prague (a five hour trip with a short break for lunch ), which Raya handled surprisingly well...there were 'n' number of other baby related stuff that needed to be taken care of, half of which I don't even remember now :)...Little Raya ,of course, had her moments of anxiety, irritability, mood swings and bouts of "meaty" food phobia during the trip...fortunately those were things we were prepared for, expecting and able to handle :)... Also it did take us a couple of days to get her into the groove of being on the road, strapped to her car seat or stroller for really long periods of time...On our third day of the trip, when 'D' was getting ready to put her in the car seat, Raya, on her own, climbed on to the car seat, saying "Baba Caw...baba caw"(as funny as it sounds, that's meant to mean baba's car:))...she then made an unsuccessful attempt to strap herself into the car seat with a smile on her face...that was, I think, the first clear indication that our little baby was all set for the following 10 days of our bohemian life on the road :)

The drive through Germany's Bavaria and the Austrian Alps was mesmerizing...this area of Europe is as pretty as the Swiss alpine countryside I would claim, if not more...it's just not as commercial, touristy, well conected by public transport or efficient as things in Switzerland....the autobahn, of course, provided the big adrenaline rush...as 'D' was pushing the pedal to drive at over 130 miles an hour on the autobahn between Germany and Prague, there was an Audi sedan that whizzed past and overtook us from the left...just as we were speculating what speed the Audi must have been driving at to be able to do that, we saw the same car flash blue lights in front of us, indicating  we had been asked to pull over by the unmarked cop car...of course, we thought we had been pulled over for speeding and were extremley nervous...the cops let out a laugh of jest and ridicule when we asked them what speed the radar had caught us at..."Oh no no, there are no speeding meters or tickets here on this stretch of the autobahn", they said. " We just wanted to look at the tourist registration papers for the car since you are just 20 miles away from Czech border"....really...130 miles/hr or 210 kms/hr and no speeding ticket...that was enough to bring a big grin to D's face and make him push the pedal to the metal :)

As far as the places we visited go...Munich was like any big European city...the old town is nice and quaint and the English garden was charming...the BMW Welt is worth the hype for all car lovers, of course...The atmosphere at the biergartens(beer gardens) with the "oompah bands" (band of 4 musicians playing Bavarian music) is not to be missed ...The visit to Dachau, the oldest concentration camp in Germany,located right outside Munich, sent chills down our spine and was a very humbling experience indeed...Konigsee am Schonau and Bershtechgaden were beautiful,
laid back Bavarian villages, perfect for a few days of rejuvenating fresh air among the Alps and lake Konigsee...the village of Hallstatt in Austria seemed straight out of a fairy tale, tucked away between the Austrian Alps and lake Hallstatt...the market town of Reutte,Austria provided sweeping views of a blend of white, snow covered mountains and green, meadowed valleys....Salzburg brought back such vivid, fond memories of "Sound of Music" and the Von Trapp family that I was in total awe...As for the golden city of spires and red roofs, Prague or Praha(as they like to call it in Europe), Franz Kafka has very rightly said, "Prague never let's you go…this dear little mother has sharp claws.”...it's really difficult to resist getting engulfed in the allure, charm, aura, beauty and spirit of what is for good reason called one of the most romantic cities in the world. The residential fort towns of Rothenburg ob tauber and Dinkelsbuhl and the drive through the romantic Bavraian strass connecting them exuded a unique blend of history, romance,fairy tale homes,boutique shops and beautiful views of green valleys interspersed with long stretches of canola fields, dotted with yellow flowers . And then finally the towns of HohenSchwangau and Fussen...typical pretty , quaint alpine towns around the extravagant King Ludwig's castles of Neuschwanstein ( which inspired Disney's princess castle ) and HohenSchwangau...we got an absolutely gorgeous view of Neuschwanstein castle from the rickety Queen Mary's bridge built over a dangerous, deep gorge...the view, though, was completely
worth the risk of walking on those shaky, dilapidated, bridge planks which almost seemed to be set to give way...it was ironical though that Raya's mommy seemed more thrilled by the sight of the princess castle than little Raya herself :)

As for food, I personally loved Czech food ( goulash, bramboračka, gulasovka )...highly recommend this local pub and restaurant called Kolkovna in Prague for a typical Czech meal...German cuisine however failed to win my heart...way too much meat for my liking...I tried the Weiswurst ( Bavarian white sausage ), Fleischkäse ( Bavarian meat loaf ), Leberknödelsuppe ( Bavarian liver dumpling soup ) and Snitzel, but ended up stuffing myself with the Bavarian potato/leek soup, for the major part of the trip...loved the apple struddel though...Madam Raya feasted on "pasta", "pizza", "bread","fried rice" and "risotto" for the major part of the trip :)...Service at restaurants was slow and laid back, as is typical almost throughout Europe...they seem to want you to have laid back meals spanning hours, all with good intention but a concept that's not very kid friendly...so anyone travelling with a kid, should be prepared to keep the little one entertained for long periods of time when dining at restaurants...And do not expect any water to be served at the table, unless specifically requested...weird, but true...:)

Communicating in English was a problem in the samller Bavarian towns of Germany and also parts of alpine Austria...not so much in Prague, though...however there was nothing lacking as far as hospitality and friendliness of the people was concerned...Believe it or not, travelling with a child has the capability of earning unpleasant stares as well as warm smiles and helping hands...for the major part, the latter...that worked to our advantage:). We did not encounter too many Indian tourists, other than in  Salzburg and Munich....so for the major part, we were exotic, brown Asians in the Alps and Bohemia :)

We ended the trip with a visit to and feasting on beer brewed at the Andechs beer brewing monastery in Germany...the beer was delicious, and had a non beer drinker like me gotten a chance to dabble with it's flavor for a little longer, we would have had a guaranteed beer drinking convert in me...good for my belly though that didn't happen:). More importantly though ,for some reason, I was under the illusion that alcohol and religion did not go together...so the idea of monks brewing beers was quite a revelation for me....'D' explained that Belgium, Germany and some other parts of Europe have had monks brew beer for the longest time ever...now,as to why monks brew beer...history says, in olden days there was no good mode of refrigeration and often safe food and beverages were difficult to find for everyone. As a result illness and malnutrition were rampant. Because of the brewing process and the alcohol content, the brewed beer was safer to drink than water and contained high carbohydrates and nutrients. It was nicknamed "liquid bread" by the monks. Monks also brew for barter and cash. The revenue funds the day to day expenses of running the monastery and also perhaps the local church and charities as well. Oh well, either way this was a revelation ,indeed ,for me to end the road trip with :)!!

I happened to come across this quote by Mark Twain a couple of days back and thought it would be apt to end this travelogue with a transcript of the quote:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

So as 'D', Raya and I get back to the grind and dream of our next stop and destination, we wish you luck and joy as you explore, dream and discover the world that lies beyond each one of your comfort zones...

 

The paradox called life

Paradoxical as it may sound, despite being an essentially absent-minded personality, there is one thing I am a particularly keen observer of, and that is human behavior...

Now I do understand that there is probably a very thin line between just observing human behavior and judging...so let's just put it this way, defensive as it may sound, I love interacting with people from all walks of life ....human behavior fascinates me, and while I observe and try to figure out why a person behaves the way he /she does without letting any hearsay /preconceived notions bias my opinion, I don't judge,for the most part I give people the benefit of the doubt and prefer to just go with the flow and let relationships develop, if they are meant to ...all the while, trying to keep those human sensitivities, I have observed in folks over the years, in mind, while interacting...

Now there is a good side to this trait and a bad...the good side is that, not having fixed/inflexible notions of what is right and wrong, I have the capability to allow for all shades of grey in human beings, including myself of course :)...and learning not to be judgmental has helped me form some beautiful, warm friendships and relationships in life, that I'll cherish forever...the downside however, is that for each of those five fulfilling friendships and relationships, there are always a couple where over time, you realize you have been taken for granted / been taken for a royal ride and where there was perhaps only an illusion of warmth and affection...for in a lot of cases, the little and sometimes even big things and thoughts in life go unappreciated :))...

Oh well, that's life...and it' s paradoxical indeed...

Now coming back to the post...so what's paradoxical about life...some observations…

The fact that when people have a job, they wish they didn’t, they could just laze around and chill instead...and the fact that when people don't have a job, they wish they did...
The fact that when people have children, they wish they were just a couple...and when people don't have children, they wish they did...
The fact that when people are surrounded by folks who love and respect them, they take them for granted...and when they are gone, they crave their company...
The fact that when people are unhappy and sad, they give the illusion of perfection...
The fact that when people have all that they have ever wanted in life, they realize their search hasn't ended yet...
Essentially the feeling that the grass is invariably greener on the other side...when it isn't :)

Yes, the paradox called life…

For all our differences, and believe me there are many, for once D and I are on the same page at least on this one...live life in the moment and live it up...that helps us try to keep clear off these paradoxes for the most part...and I do hope it will remain that way in the years to come...but then you never know,do you... after all life is a paradox in itself and only time will tell what is in store for us...:)

Happy Friday folks!!

P.S. A couple of days back, a long lost friend of mine called from India to share a piece of good news...it was around 1:00a.m. in the morning when I received the call and despite not having had a chance to speak to her in the past 5 odd years and over the period of years, the email exchanges having become extremely rare, it took me less than a second to recognize the voice, after the initial,"Hello, is it Priyanka?" :)...the call made my day...and yes, there I was flooded with memories of all the times we had spent together ...a friend who has been very much an integral part of my life journey so far :)...so cheers to that!

A revelation...

(Update: 9th September, 2011

Added blog post entry for inclusion in Sulekkha's(http://sulekkha.blogspot.com/2011/09/lets-make-collage-of-articles.html)collage of articles on "Soul Mates".Feel this entry echoes my thoughts on a soulmate most accurately...so here's a toast to times shared with a person , who you think is your soulmate, of course while the relationship and feeling lasts :) )

It's not any special day today...just an ordinary day when I started my long drive to work relatively early by my standards (early as in , 7:30 am in the morning...yes, for all those who know me well and my love for sleeping...that's really,really early :-) )...but that's besides the point...the point is that, amidst the ordinariness of the day in general, while listening to my regular dose of music during my drive to work, I had an extraordinary revelation of sorts :-)

A month or so back, a few of us friends went for a trip to a state park... at night as all us sat together, revelling in nostalgia and some great music, buzzed as usual with just the right amount of alcohol, conversations got interesting, as they generally do at such outings …amidst a couple of pointed questions, this friend of mine asked me a question, an answer to which funnily enough, after all these years of being together with D, I could not articulate effectively…the gist of his question was , given how different D and I are in a lot of ways, as in likes /dislikes etc., what is it that made us click initially and have helped us stay together so far, despite quite a few ups and downs in the relationship…after all, to start with , we were polar opposites…he was the “naughty dude…the bad boy”….I was “miss goody two shoes”…he was a “back bencher”…I was a “front bencher”…he was “funny”…I lacked a “sense of humor”…at least then I did…not anymore though…he he…I “loved books and reading” …books and conversations were then my primary source of information and knowledge …his “attention span was limited to seconds” as far as reading is concerned… life experiences and people interactions and conversations were his primary source of information and knowledge ...and the list goes on and on…

Now even today, I have a lot of reasons that could motivate me to kick D’s a** and leave him thristy and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow :-(... he loves golf, football, basketball, tennis , ‘n’ other sports and his car more than me...he picks on me, gangs up against me and makes fun of me at the slightest provocation, more often than not in public...he insists he is a better cook than I am and not just that, he sits on the couch while I slog it out in the kitchen, shouting out 'fundaes' about the fundamentals of cooking ( this , after knowing how hard I have worked to develop whatever few cooking skills I have)...he doesn’t quit smoking despite my repeated pleas to him to do so...he promises to come early from golf and get grocery done for a party we are hosting, but ends up coming a couple of hours late and stressing me out of my wits...and the list goes on and on...

But now, let me mention the revelation I had...just one simple reason that would stop me from leaving D thirsty and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow:)...D is absolutely comfortable in his own skin...with him, you really don’t have to keep guessing “what’s really going on?”...what you see is what you get...and what that means for me is that it helps me feel comfortable in my own skin ...helps me just be myself everywhere anytime...and it means being completely stress free, even when I have the illusion of being stressed, if you know what I mean :-)...well that’s the ‘early morning’ revelation I was talking about...nothing mushy, mushy or cheesy but a revelation nevertheless...though I agree you would say ,after three decades of life, 4 and half years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each other...it’s perhaps a late revelation on a rather ordinary day...but an important revelation for me,nevertheless...:)

Back to the grind...

Just got back to Northern Virginia on Monday evening from a wonderful vacation back home in India, more specifically, in the beautiful state of Assam in India...this time around we also managed to squeeze in a short trip to the awe invoking Golden City of Jaisalmer, in Rajasthan...more about that in a bit...

The India trip didn’t start off on a very good note for me...I missed my connecting flight from Brussels to Delhi and subsequently from Delhi to Guwahati , resulting in a 24 hour delay in reaching home...did finally manage to reach Guwahati in one piece…D had flown in a day earlier and so he got to spend an extra day in Guwahati...grrrr...:-)

As I chit chatted with my parents in the car on my way home from the airport, at the first red traffic light we stopped, D pointed out one of the rolling advertisement hoardings by the side of the traffic crossing . An image of Lord Ganesha flashed on the screen and the following text rolled by:

‘Lord Ganesha says, “Save your head…not everyone is fortunate like me to get a replacement...wear a helmet, when on a two wheeler”...’

As D read out the rolling text on the hoarding aloud, both of us smiled and D said to me, “Welcome to India, babe!!”...In a weird kind of way, those rolling words on the hoarding by the side of the road, reflected the essence of the people and the current state of the country of my birth...it was a simple, intelligent, witty attempt to bring order into the chaos, that was and still defines a major part of India, by gently and subtly nudging the inherent spiritual sentiments and superstitious instinct of the common Indian man...as is always the case in such situations, apparently there had been a lot of objections initially to putting up such a message, considering it a denigration of Lord Ganesha...whatever...but I, for one, am sure Lord Ganesha would have absolutely no objection to having his image and name used to protect and save lives :-)

Anyways that’s that and I’ll come back to it later...

So what was the India trip like...short, hectic, fun-filled and beautiful...catching up with family, friends, loved ones, festivities ,getting royally pampered, fun, food, frolic, shopping, travel...great times essentially...

My dear mother and mom-in-law made sure they prepared all of D and my favorite dishes...Ma fed me with loads of ’Tenga jhool’(an assamese fish delicacy), ’Til pitha’ (an assamese sweet), ’Dahi wada’, ’Chocolate cake’, ’Narikolor barfi’ (Coconut sweet), ‘Bora saolor bake’(Another assamese delicacy with a specific kind of rice and jaggary that only my mom can make !!), ‘Prawn curry’, ’Dhania Aloo’ ,’Masor Jola’(Another fish dish)...Ahhh...she had got a special ‘razai’ (quilt) made for me because I love quilts and sleeping curled up in one, in the misty Guwahati winter, is my absolute favorite pass time :-)...we lazed around in the terrace garden at home, chit chatting and basking in the warmth and glory of the early afternoon sunshine...we drove around all our old favorite joints in the city and checked out all the new hot spots with friends and family...visited D’s high school...met up with a couple of our junior college professors...after a long, long time the whole family spent New Year’s eve together, partying in Guwahati...had ‘Uruka bhoj’ (a special dinner around a bonfire on the eve of the Assamese harvest festival of Bihu) at my aunt’s, and a grand Bihu lunch at Aita’s ( my grandmom)...watched ‘3 Idiots’ in a packed cinema hall with 12 other family members...caught up with some old school friends, most of whom I was meeting after more than a decade...thanks to a dear friend ,'P', for getting everyone together...had a lovely time...some are now married...others are not...some of them have kids...others don’t...some of them have changed...others haven’t...but everyone’s grown up to become such beautiful, amazing ladies in their own right...it was absolutely lovely meeting everyone after such a long, long time...then of course D and I hogged on street food...paani poories, bhel poories, allo tikkis, tandoori chicken, indo chinese food, momos, kebabs...you name it and we’ve had it, I am sure...

(By now you would have guessed that food constitutes a major part of all our travel plans and hence my blog posts...thank god both D and I are foodies:-) )

But one of the biggest highlights of the trip was a surprise visit to Guwahati by my dear brother, Ashish...Since D and my India trip was kind of a last minute plan(like it generally is for all our travel), Ash and I hadn’t been able to make our vacation days from work coincide...having had only recently got back from Guwahati to Bangalore after a 10 day break in early December, Ash had kept giving all of us the impression that he wouldn’t be able to make it to Guwahati while D and I were visiting...though I was upset, I had got reconciled to that fact...but on the afternoon of the 1st of January, while my parents and I were taking an afternoon nap, I felt a few gentle taps on my head...once, twice, thrice...and then as I opened my eyes and turned around to find the source of the irritant...lo and behold...there he was...yes my bratty, rock star brother :-)...he had flown into Guwahati to spend the weekend with us...and had absolutely made my day!!

Then there were of course these other teeny, weeny moments and gestures of warmth and affection that absolutely touched my heart and that I’ll cherish forever...like our 85 year old grand moms (both D and mine) entering the cold kitchen and with shaky hands trying to help cook some of our favorite childhood dishes...an aunt who put in all the effort to hand knit a cap for me , not knowing what else to gift me...'M', a lady who has been with our family helping with household chores ever since my brother’s birth, deciding to forgo a scheduled trip to visit her family in the village during the two day Bihu holiday, and instead deciding to spend that time at home with our family, cooking, chit chatting and taking care of me because she felt she hadn’t been able to pamper me enough, owing to a full time job at a cottage industry ma had just gotten her into...yes, life’s little moments that tug your heart and leave indelible impressions!

Then of course, D and I squeezed in a three day trip to Jaisalmer, a small town on the westernmost part of the state of Rajasthan on the border with Pakistan...we travelled to Jaisalmer via train from Old Delhi station...and returned to Delhi on one of those teeny, weeny turboprop flights from Jodhpur...that, in itself, as you can imagine, was an experience:-)...Jaisalmer is famous for the Golden Fort , that proudly stands amidst the golden stretches of the great Thar Desert and is the only residential fort in the world...We had made arrangements to stay at a haveli in the fort that had been converted to a boutique hotel...beautiful,royal architecture and interiors, a terrace restaurant, awe inspiring views of Jaisalmer city, delicious Rajasthani thalis (constituting yummy dal baati, churma, gatte ki sabzi, kair sangria, sukhi pooris among other Rajasthani delicacies) and extremely hospitable staff were the highlights of this small boutique hotel with a rather non Rajasthani name “Vitoria” ;-)…We went out on a camel safari to the Khuri sand dunes of the Thar Desert and reveled in the marvelty of enriching Rajasthani folk dance and music in one of the desert camps, around a bon fire, under the star filled skies over the Thar…Some of D and my closest friends are from Rajasthan...hence we have been at the receiving end of some overwhelming Rajasthani hospitality many a time before and I am glad this trip was no exception ;-)

Spent a couple of days in Delhi as well...some of the the changes in Delhi and it’s suburbs were revelations in themselves...six lane roads, posh malls and restaurants, high rise techno savvy offices, chic residential complexes, fancy cars, rich kids swerving their 'Mercs' and 'Bimmers' to a halt in shady nooks outside Priya cinema hall (apparently in the lookout for pimps and dope, I was told)...this ,juxtaposed against the ‘thela walas’, ‘rickshaw walas’, ‘cycle walas’ ,’auto walas’,'taxi walas' trying to make a living, working 18 hours a day and 7 days a week... a family of four on a two wheeler trying to squeeze in a mall shopping experience on one of the foggiest and coldest of Delhi nights...yes, I mention this at the cost of sounding like a ‘phirang’ tourist...It’s just that Guwahati is a much smaller city compared to Delhi, has a more laid back life and is not a commercial hub or melting pot like Delhi is and hence, I guess, the economic changes and progress India has made in the last few years, though evident in Guwahati as well, they haven't really led to as wide socio economic gaps in my hometown as in the capital of India...but that's that...plus, of course there's the matter of where I observed issues from...I guess after spending a few years outside India and given the rate of economic changes in the country in the past few years, any form of socio economic gap just seems starker, darker and just a whole lot more unfair...

So what did we do in Delhi...yes, got our visas stamped at the American consulate, right next to the Canadian consulate outside which all that was visible was a sea of people and their colorful turbans:-)...shopping in Janpath (finally got a hookah ;-)...so everyone’s welcome to the next hookah party at our place...he he ) and Delhi Haat...checked out a couple of live music hangouts in Connaught Place and Gurgaon...they absolutely rocked...checked out some restaurants /lounges recommeded by Delhiite friends...“ Bukhaara”, “Punjabi by Nature” and ”Smoke House grill” to name a few...and yes, needless to say, hogged on Delhi street food, which was just as delicious, if not more:-)...

All in all, it was a whirlwind India trip that was a whole lot of fun...it always is when you visit India for just a few weeks...but then when I think about it more , putting aside the surreal nature of a short vacation and of getting into the habit of splurging in rupees while earning in dollars, I am not sure yet what it would be like to get into the regular Indian bandwagon of working and living there...will know for sure when we move back some day...but as of now, day-to-day life for the common man, in general, seems tough...definitely tougher than what is for us here...having said that though, a lot of the people I met and spoke to seem completely content and happy with the lives they are leading...and therefore my perspective is perhaps skewed by my personal definition of a ‘tough day-to-day life’...hence I’ll just refrain from commenting on this further...let’s just say this, after three weeks of vacation, while I was engulfed with sadness and choked in tears , at the thought of yet again leaving behind loved ones and my childhood home in Assam, subconsciously perhaps I was ready to be back to the grind...to office work, cooking, cleaning, driving, doing the grocery, fighting with D about household chores, paying the mortgage :-) and generally getting back to real life...yes, before it was too late...before getting spoilt beyond redemption in India and being forced to unequivocably judge where life is better :-)

So yes I am back to the grind...I just got back from 'home' to 'home', if that makes any sense at all...from Assam to Northern Virginia...paradoxical yet true...have at least one other blogger friend who seems to feel the same ;-)

On our way to the airport to catch my return flight to the US, ma sighted an elephant bang in the middle of the streets of Guwahati, and she told me that it’s her belief that sighting an elephant(a personification of Lord Ganesha) anywhere outside the animal’s natural abode is a sign of good luck...and though logic defied it, I involuntarily joined my hands in a namaskar and bowed my head down in respect of Lord Ganesha as I looked back at the elephant and prayed for love, luck, health and happiness for all my dear ones, in the year to come...yes you guessed right, it is my 'inherent Indian spiritual sentiment and superstitious instinct', that I mentioned earlier in the post, that makes me defy logic , time and again, many a time...

Am sure in all of this, my confusion is apparent...it's meant to be :-) !!

Happy New Year folks!! Will share some pics of the trip soon...

Of Change and Continuance ...

Well I am turning another year older at the stroke of midnight...another year wiser?...well maybe, maybe not...can't vouch for the wiser part of it ...going over one of the first big hills, as they say...does growing another year older make that big a difference...well not really, I tell myself, I don't feel any different than what I was in my early twenties...age is just a number in the mind , isn’t it?...hmmm...well I don't think I am being completely honest here, am I :-)!

After all, I do realize that my biological clock is ticking...I keep getting feelers about that from my mom and mom-in-law every time I call home…they don’t lose a chance to enforce and reinforce on me the fact that it’s about time D and I started thinking about life beyond just the two of us…

After all, when hubby dear asked me about what I wanted to do on my birthday weekend and gave me two options...a drunken weekend away at a party destination or something more quiet at a serene destination, I did opt for the latter...I am laughing out loud, imagining a very dear friend of mine, P, pull my leg about this by saying something to the effect of ”Tu buddhi ho gayin hain" on having opted for the latter... LOL :-)

Anyways, that's that...but this post is not just really about me growing another year older or another year wiser...it's me reminiscing about the past three decades of my life...it's about how a lot of things have changed and a lot haven’t, as I have evolved as a person over the years...

It all started with a rather carefree life, growing up in the beautiful hills of Shillong, Meghalaya...friends, family, birthday parties, indo chinese dinners, long drives, chocolates, teddy bears, mickey mouse club, school concerts,great times essentially...Papa loves cars and driving and I remember in those days, if he got back late from work, to make it up to us, he would bring back loads of chocolates and would just keep honking the horn of the car on the driveway till we got out of the home...and off we would go, all four of us, for a long drive across the beautiful town and hills of Shillong, and that would invariably end in one of the most delicious Indo Chinese dinner places in the world, "ABBA"...lovely summer vacations at my paternal grandparents in Guwahati...memorable winter vacations in Jorhat with my maternal grandparents...family vacations to other parts of India...now , you would say it was vacation time for the major part of the year then...well sort of...you know how life in a hill station in the 80s was...relaxed, carefree and pristine, among affectionate, friendly and warm locals, without the added burdens of "touristyness" and “commercialization” we associate with most Indian hill stations these days...an almost fairy tale like existence...

Imagine a beautiful house on a hilltop surrounded by pine trees...a gentle chill and breeze in the air...a family of four replete with a white Alsatian, running around the grounds of the home...family time, with adorable parents and a bratty little brother, by the warm fireplace in the living room...friends and neighbors moving in and out of each others homes, all well fed with delicious home made food, happy and contented in each others’ company, completely oblivious to the vicissitudes of life...that was what life was all about in the my first ten years into this world…

Since then I’ve seen a lot of ups and downs in my own life and in the lives of near and dear ones...I have evolved from wanting to become an air hostess (inspired by none other than the Kittu Gidwani starrer by the same name that used to be aired on Doordarshan on Sunday nights)...to a cop...to an air force pilot...to an astronaut...to a doctor (the romanticized version of Erich Segal, of course )...to a teacher...to a genetic engineer( fancy huh...this was at a time when I hardly knew what genes were :-))...to a physicist...and finally ended up as the stereotypical ‘electrical and computer engineer’...it’s a different matter all together that D, the industrial engineer in the family,is a zillion times better at all the theoretical and practical electrical and technological troubleshooting than I am...Oh well...you know what, I feign ignorance(that’s a good excuse for outright incompetence, aint’t it :-))!! On a slightly different note, once an uncle of mine was advising D that he should feign ignorance and prove his incompetence in all household chores early on in the marriage...apparently once that’s done, it would make sure that the wifey (yes, I) would forever relieve D from the travails that the tedious household tasks entail...LOL...well am I glad that I overheard that conversation, otherwise D would have gleefully succeeded using that tactic on me his entire life!!

Coming back to the point, over the years I have sobered down from being a rebellious feminist to a realist...I have evolved from the feisty teenager, who thought she could take on a system single handedly and bring about much needed changes, overnight, to someone who has matured enough to realize that small , individual changes in a system, over time, eventually lead on to bigger, better ones...I have evolved from an ambitious teenager, with big dreams, to someone who has realized that there are sweeter pleasures in life than the next big career move...I have evolved from tending to be judgmental to learning to give people the benefit of the doubt..I have evolved from reading fairy tales to Enid Blyton to Carolyn Keene to Dickens to Austen and the Bronte sisters to Agatha Christie and Robin Cook to Arthur Hailey and Jeffrey Archer to P.G. Wodehouse to Aynd Rand to Sophie Kinsella to Jhumpa Lahiri and Salman Rushdie to Nasim Taleb...you get the gist...not to forget the Mills and Boon and Linda Goodman stage ;-)...and then, something I am really proud of, I have evolved from a really bad cook to a reasonably decent one...well, the list is endless and I can just go on and on about how my tastes and I have changed over the years...

But then the point is that over the past three decades, while I have evolved and grown in a lot of ways, while I have loved and hated, laughed and cried, risen and fallen, given and taken...there are certain things that haven’t really changed all that much, after all...and in that list is my love for books, music, chocolates, teddy bears, dogs, mountains, bollywood flicks (Ah...how I love being a part of the crowds for the first day, first shows :-)!! ), street food, shopping, writing and physics...my appreciation, love and admiration for humility, intelligence, open mindedness, genuineness, affection, warmth and generosity...my dislike for arrogance and hypocrisy...but I think the most important in the list of things that hasn’t changed much over the years is my ‘optimism’...my belief in fairy tales...my belief that what goes around comes around...my faith that every cloud does have a silver lining...

The other day, a friend of mine wrote to me saying something to the effect of, “You are such an optimist...it’s refreshing to see your take on life in this otherwise cynical world”...believe me, it is a compliment I shall forever hold very close to my heart...for optimism and hope keeps me sane, happy and relaxed...enables me to seek out and enjoy the simple pleasures of life...Yes, I know life will bring in changes, both good and bad, in the years to come...I will evolve for the better or ,god forbid, change for the worse in the midst of life’s vicissitudes...but I do sincerely hope I manage to remain an eternal optimist, in the midst of it all...we will see how that goes...only time will tell :-)

For now though, yes, I am yet another year older :-), hopefully another year wiser as well...and it’s Happy Birthday to me...with a fresh new year of life to right some wrongs...to love,laugh and live!

The Man in the mirror...

The 'Man in the mirror' has faded away...

He was a prodigy and a child singing sensation at the age of 5, a teen icon at the age of 18, a superstar at the age of 25...a singer, dancer, composer, lyricist, entertainer...he rose to the helm of superstardom in a jiffy and fell from the pedestal just as fast...he was wealthy but lived beyond his means...early on in his career, he was deemed a shrewd investor...in the last decade of his life, all his investments were deemed foolish...he was a philanthropist...he was an apparent victim of child abuse and extreme parental pressure that drove him to the limit...he never lived the childhood every human being deserves...he was a man who never seemed happy with the way he looked...he was a perfectionist...he was weird...he was complex...he was once a handsome, vivacious trendsetting youngster ...at a later stage in life, he had almost transformed to an alien...he was accused of the inexcusable crime of child molestation...and his death now is shrouded in a possible case of prescription drug abuse... understood by very few, he seemed like a very lonely soul...a man many found difficult to love,but even more difficult to hate...

Yes that's Michael Jackson ...the good and the bad...the black and the white ...the known and the unknown...and of course the very visible shades of grey...and today, "The King of Pop" is dead at an age when very few of us, lesser mortals, can claim to have achieved what he achieved in just the first 25 years of his life...

Over the past one and a half days, news channels have flashed snippets and stories about MJ's life and death ...the internet has been clogged by fanatical fans trying to make sense of his life and his sudden passing away...

In the midst of this frenzy , as I follow the various news clips and my feet involuntarily tap to the trendsetting beats of " Billy Jean" and " Beat It", a question crosses my mind...all of us , humans beings, have shades of grey in our personalities, don't we? I am sure there are instances in every persons' life, when he /she looks at the mirror , literally and figuratively, and doesn't like what he/she sees...But what is it that pushes some people to the brink of insanity, darkening the shades of grey that's inherent in human nature, almost pushing them into a bottomless pit ?

It's one of those questions, I guess, to which there can never be an unequivocal answer...

With that question lingering in my mind, as an era comes to an end with the death of Michael Jackson, I realize it's about time we gave him the benefit of the doubt...I mourne the passing away of a legend, accepting those shades of grey in his life, instead of trying to judge and classify those shades as black or white ...I seek solace in and celebrate the beautiful music that only he was capable of creating...

After all not every human being is fortunate enough to learn and understand, early on in life, that with great power,talent,wealth and success comes great responsibility...I guess MJ was not one of the fortunate ones...

But then, of course, neither is every human being capable of achieving what the 'King of Pop' achieved in his short life span...

While his legacy lives on in the form of his amazing musical creations, may his soul rest in peace !