Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A revelation...

(Update: 9th September, 2011

Added blog post entry for inclusion in Sulekkha's( of articles on "Soul Mates".Feel this entry echoes my thoughts on a soulmate most here's a toast to times shared with a person , who you think is your soulmate, of course while the relationship and feeling lasts :) )

It's not any special day today...just an ordinary day when I started my long drive to work relatively early by my standards (early as in , 7:30 am in the morning...yes, for all those who know me well and my love for sleeping...that's really,really early :-) )...but that's besides the point...the point is that, amidst the ordinariness of the day in general, while listening to my regular dose of music during my drive to work, I had an extraordinary revelation of sorts :-)

A month or so back, a few of us friends went for a trip to a state park... at night as all us sat together, revelling in nostalgia and some great music, buzzed as usual with just the right amount of alcohol, conversations got interesting, as they generally do at such outings …amidst a couple of pointed questions, this friend of mine asked me a question, an answer to which funnily enough, after all these years of being together with D, I could not articulate effectively…the gist of his question was , given how different D and I are in a lot of ways, as in likes /dislikes etc., what is it that made us click initially and have helped us stay together so far, despite quite a few ups and downs in the relationship…after all, to start with , we were polar opposites…he was the “naughty dude…the bad boy”….I was “miss goody two shoes”…he was a “back bencher”…I was a “front bencher”…he was “funny”…I lacked a “sense of humor”…at least then I did…not anymore though…he he…I “loved books and reading” …books and conversations were then my primary source of information and knowledge …his “attention span was limited to seconds” as far as reading is concerned… life experiences and people interactions and conversations were his primary source of information and knowledge ...and the list goes on and on…

Now even today, I have a lot of reasons that could motivate me to kick D’s a** and leave him thristy and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow :-(... he loves golf, football, basketball, tennis , ‘n’ other sports and his car more than me...he picks on me, gangs up against me and makes fun of me at the slightest provocation, more often than not in public...he insists he is a better cook than I am and not just that, he sits on the couch while I slog it out in the kitchen, shouting out 'fundaes' about the fundamentals of cooking ( this , after knowing how hard I have worked to develop whatever few cooking skills I have)...he doesn’t quit smoking despite my repeated pleas to him to do so...he promises to come early from golf and get grocery done for a party we are hosting, but ends up coming a couple of hours late and stressing me out of my wits...and the list goes on and on...

But now, let me mention the revelation I had...just one simple reason that would stop me from leaving D thirsty and stranded in the middle of the desert tomorrow:)...D is absolutely comfortable in his own skin...with him, you really don’t have to keep guessing “what’s really going on?”...what you see is what you get...and what that means for me is that it helps me feel comfortable in my own skin ...helps me just be myself everywhere anytime...and it means being completely stress free, even when I have the illusion of being stressed, if you know what I mean :-)...well that’s the ‘early morning’ revelation I was talking about...nothing mushy, mushy or cheesy but a revelation nevertheless...though I agree you would say ,after three decades of life, 4 and half years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each’s perhaps a late revelation on a rather ordinary day...but an important revelation for me,nevertheless...:)


Rush said...

As always, very well written Priyanka! Its such a pleasure reading your posts. Wishing you and D a lifetime of happiness together! :-)

Priyanka Rajkhowa said...

Thanks so much Rush

SBora said...

u guys make such a lovely couple....proud of ya!

Priyanka Rajkhowa said...

Thanks Rims ;-)

NetworkedBlogsViaFacebook said...

Ashish Rajkhowa, Tapati Sharma, Dipanjan Das, Ravi Prakash, Kumud juneja Trikha, Dinesh Goyal and Suchitra Subramanyan like this

Suchitra Subramanyan:

Good one always very well written.

June 23 at 5:08pm

Priyanka Shah Dattani:

Wow!! Absolutely lovely read! Very well-written Priyanka! I guess early mornings kinda suit you :)

June 23 at 5:56pm

Cindy Quigley Miller:

Beautiful, and those revelations usually turn out to be the truth...Love to you both

June 23 at 9:24pm

Priya Gupta:

Love reading your write-ups.....

June 23 at 10:36pm

Priyanka Rajkhowa:

Thanks so much folks !

June 24 at 8:48am

Mukti Soni Gambhir:

darling that's beautful.It's so nice to be able to express urself through words ...

June 24 at 9:15am

Preetam Rajkhowa:

being able to express your thoughts the way you have done have been doing is not that easy.......but you have been doing it .....great!!!!!!

June 24 at 10:22am

Leonard Vijay:

that is so beautifully put! Simple yet what most relationships lack...

June 24 at 10:46am

Priya Rajkhewa Telang:

That was wonderful, well said. It made me think as well and the conclusions that I came to... I love!!

June 24 at 12:22pm

Gautomi Chowdhury:

awesome read..very well expressed thots i shud say:-)

June 24 at 1:29pm

Anup Hosangadi:

you brought out a deeply philosophical point in a very simple way. Good job. Not only that, but you brought out ur complaints against DD in a manner that u will be heard but wont make him upset..awesome :)

June 24 at 1:50pm

Priyanka Rajkhowa:

Thanks so much guys!!

@Anup: :-)..haan yaar, hoping that the thumbs up given by DD to the post indicates I have been read and heard:-)

June 24 at 6:49pm

Ashish Rajkhowa:

very good....

June 24 at 9:06pm
Prerna Agarwal
an important realisation and only few get it, I feel! Liked your write-up as always!!
June 25 at 7:07am
Priyanka Rajkhowa
Thanks yaar !
June 25 at 9:49am